Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(95)
Author: Cambria Hebert

I laughed. “No, we can move into my new apartment tomorrow. I…uh…I stay here with Heven every night…in her room.”

Logan made a face. “How long have you had a girlfriend?”

“For a while now. She’s really great, Logan. You’re going to like her too.”

“I guess she is pretty hot.” Logan said with a smile.

I widened my eyes in mock horror. “Thinking of making a play for my girl?” I said, then grabbed up a handful of hay and tossed it at him. “Better watch out, little bro.”

“Whatever.” He laughed, dodging the flying hay.

“Have you been alone the last six months?” I asked, dreading the answer wondering how he survived this long.

“Yeah. I went to the apartment that dad rented you when you first left…but you weren’t there. I’ve been looking for you ever since.”

I ran a hand through my hair thinking how stupid I had been for not trying to keep in touch with him. I could have found a way to see him, to at least get word to him about where I was. I never imagined, not in a million years that he would end up like me. “I’m sorry; I should have kept in touch.”

“I don’t blame you. I’m just glad I found you.” He rubbed at his eyes with his palms, and I prayed he didn’t start crying.

I had let him down.

From here on out I told myself I would be here for him.

“It was pretty tough, huh? To be alone?”

He shrugged and dropped his hands away from his face. I was relieved to see that he wasn’t crying. “It wasn’t that bad. I had some money…I took it from dad before I left.” He glanced at me, looking a little embarrassed.

I nodded. “You needed it more than he did.”

Logan seemed to relax at my understanding and then continued talking. “I moved around a lot, trying to find you. Then this one night in Portland…I ran into this woman who said she knew you.”

Horror filled me. “What was her name?”

“China. She said she was like us and that she knew where you lived.”

“Did she hurt you?” I asked, leaning toward him, grabbing his arm.

“What? No. Why would she? She seemed nice. She gave me your address, told me where I could find you.”

I relaxed and released his arm. “She wasn’t nice Logan.”

“So you do know her?”

“I did. She’s not around anymore.” I hesitated to elaborate on the fact that I was the one who killed her. I was supposed to be making him feel safe, not scared.

“Where’d she go?”

“I’m not sure,” I lied, feeling horrible for doing it. “Out of town.”

“Oh.” He seemed a little let down.

I moved over to sit next to him. “We don’t need her around anyway, bud. I’ll teach you everything you wanted to know and you’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want to know anything!” he cried, catching me off guard. Down below Jasper whinnied his discomfort.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be like this! I don’t care about it. I just want to forget that part of me.”

“You can’t just forget it, Logan. You have to learn to accept it, you don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it and learn how to control it if you don’t want it to take you over.”

“I can control it just fine.” He said, stubborn.

“Okay, cool. We don’t have to talk about that right now.” I was scared of running him off. Clearly my brother wasn’t as accepting of himself as I was. I guess I could understand that. He’d run away from home because our parents wouldn’t accept him, and he has been alone on the streets for six months, searching for me. I thought that right now my time would be better spent trying to rebuild our relationship before I tried to make him accept that he was a hellhound.

Logan stared at the floor, mutinous and silent. I sighed. I had no idea what to do or say. I wondered what Heven was doing. I imagined her in room brushing out her long, silky hair and suddenly I wanted to be there. I wanted to run my fingers through the softness of that hair and listen to the sound of her heart beating. I glanced at the screen of my cell. It was late. She was probably asleep by now.

I reached into the hay and fished around, coming out with a bag. My stash from when I was sleeping up here to be closer to Heven. “Here, look what I got.”

Logan took the bag I was holding out. It was filled with power bars and some candy and a couple of comic books. “Have you read this one yet?” I reached in the bag to grab the book and held out the latest X-Men comic.

“No! Awesome!” A grin split his face as he ripped from my fingers. “This is so cool.” He put the comic in his lap and reached in to grab a couple of candy bars and a bag of M&M’s.

I smiled. Just like that he had transformed from a sullen kid to a happy one. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all. I sat there with him for a while and we joked and laughed about the comic. It felt good to have a brother again.

After a while he fell asleep in a candy induced coma with the comic clutched in his hands. I pulled out a blanket and covered him. I went to the ladder, planning to go see Heven.

When I turned to go down Logan’s sleepy voice stopped me. “Hey, Sam.”

I looked over my shoulder. “I was just going to go see Heven. Want me to stay?” It would be the first night I spent away from her in months, but for my brother, it would be worth it. “No, go ahead. But…thanks.”

I smiled. “You sure?”

“Go away, I’m sleeping.” Logan mumbled and rolled taking the blanket with him.

I laughed, he always was grumpy when he was tired. “I’ll be back in a while, ‘kay?”

He murmured something as I went down the ladder and he was snoring before I left the barn.

Heven

It was very late by the time Sam crawled through my open bedroom window. That all too familiar feeling of safety enveloped me.

You’re awake. He was surprised when he slid beneath the sheets and rolled to face me.

I’ve gotten used to you being here. It’s hard to sleep without you.

He smiled and caressed the side of my cheek with the tips of his fingers. I closed my eyes. Every time he touched me I felt a long sigh throughout my entire body. I snuggled closer and rested my cheek against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the inside of his neck.

I missed you.

Is Logan okay?