Mind Game (GhostWalkers #2)(82)
Author: Christine Feehan

“Lily. Don’t ask me how. We give her a shopping list, tell her where we want the stuff, and she delivers. Anything from weapons to ladies’ underwear.”

“She’s very involved in what you all do, isn’t she?” She worked to keep the wistful note from her voice.

“Yes. She’s a tremendous asset to us. Whitney set up trust funds for all of us, but when we’re out on a mission or we’re working for the Whitney Trust, Lily uses the power and money behind her name.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No.” He shrugged. “Whatever works and smoothes the way.” He lifted the pair of silky pajamas from the drawer. “These are beautiful, but I’m fond of you in my shirt.”

Dahlia took the pajamas out of his hands. “You’ve never seen me in anything else. You might change your mind.” The pajamas were a soft pale blue. The top was a little sexier than she’d ever worn, but Nicolas had seen her without clothes so she didn’t mind trying it. “I’m going to take a shower. Would you mind trying to find something for my headache? It just refuses to go away.”

“I’ve got something in my pack.” He retrieved the pack from the entryway where he’d left it when he’d gone through the condo on a quick check for exits and fast escapes. The water was already running and the bathroom steamy when he stepped inside the tiled room. Dahlia was in a large square Jacuzzi, her body covered with churning bubbles and her head pillowed by a small rolled towel on the back of the tub. He could see her br**sts floating enticingly, peeking through the curtain of bubbles. Steam drifted around her, giving her a mysterious, elusive appearance. Her mane of black hair was slicked back from her face and her incredible skin gleamed at him. Nicolas felt the sexual jolt all the way through his body. How could he look at her body, her incredible skin, and not feel the urgent demand of every cell in his own body? She opened her eyes to catch him staring at her.

“Are you coming in?”

His breath caught in his throat. “Is it a good idea?” There were lines of weariness on her face and he couldn’t tell if the droplets of water on her face were from the steam or from tears. “Baby, you’re so tired, and I don’t know if I’ve got the willpower it would take to keep my hands to myself.”

“I want you to come in with me. The water’s hot and relaxing. We both need it, and it was such a nice surprise.”

Nicolas didn’t wait for a second invitation. He stripped quickly, loving the fact that she never took her eyes from him. She didn’t wince or look away from the stark demands of his body. He watched her take a deep breath and let it out, focusing on him completely in the way she had.

He stepped to the side of the Jacuzzi. “It is a nice surprise.” He stepped into the hot churning water. At once the bubbles licked at his thighs. Before he could sink down into the water, Dahlia cupped his sac, her hands hot and moist. The temperature in the room increased along with his pulse.

“Has anyone ever told you what a really extraordinary person you are, Nicolas?”

He felt her breath on him, the flick of her tongue. He closed his eyes for a moment, briefly savoring her touch. “Dahlia.” He caught her shoulders and held her away from him. “This isn’t about me. I want you, honey, you have no idea how much, but when we stop, it’s all going to be there between us, and I don’t want that.”

Dahlia leaned back again, her expression impossible to read. “So what do you want, Nicolas? Everyone wants something.”

“Of course I want something. Don’t you? Don’t you want something for yourself? Doesn’t a relationship matter to you? Isn’t that wanting something? Hell, yes, I want something from you, and it isn’t just your body.”

“Is that what you think I was offering you?”

“Wasn’t it?”

Dahlia was always as honest as she could be with herself and she didn’t like the answer. “Okay, maybe I was. Maybe I wanted that to be what you wanted from me.”

“I love you, Dahlia.” He sank down into the churning water and pulled her into his arms. “I love all of you.”

She turned her face into his throat and wished she could cry like a normal person. She felt she was screaming inside, clawing at her own heart, yet she couldn’t tell him.

Couldn’t share it with him. This one person who had shown her kindness. Who proclaimed to love her for who she was, monster or not. She kissed his throat and pushed away from him.

“Did you bring the aspirin?”

“I left the tablets on the sink.” Nicolas leaned back as she climbed out of the Jacuzzi. “This is one of those moments when the relationship manual would come in handy, don’t you think?”

A fleeting smile curved her mouth and was gone. “I don’t think the manual covers this, Nicolas. I don’t think anything does.”

She took the tablets and dried off, leaving him to the hot water as she paced through the house in her silken pajamas. Dahlia wandered through each of the rooms on bare feet wondering what it would be like to be a normal woman with a family, to have a house like this one and fill it with laughter and happiness. Her hair was damp from the Jacuzzi and made a wide wet column down her back. Even the water bubbling around her, as hot as she could stand it, could not take away the ferocious headache jabbing through her skull. She paused by the window and stared out into the night, feeling restless and moody. She wanted to walk away into the night and disappear. Had she been in the bayou, she might have done so.

Nicolas came up behind her and leaned over her, putting a hand on either side of the windowsill caging her in. “Come to bed, Dahlia. You need to sleep.”

She didn’t turn around but pressed back against his body. “It’s strange knowing someone wants me dead,” she mused aloud. “All of my life, I’ve known I was different and maybe in some way a monster, dangerous to others. I even knew I wasn’t lovable, but I never once thought they would want me dead.”

He rubbed his face against the nape of her neck. “No one is going to kill you, Dahlia, not if I have anything to say about. And you’re very lovable. I don’t love anyone else. I haven’t since I was a boy.”

She ignored his confession because she had to. She couldn’t think about Nicolas and what it would mean if he were like the others. “I thought they were my friends, Nicolas. Max and Jesse. I thought they cared about me the way friends care about one another.” How could she say she wanted to doubt him? That she was afraid if he was deceiving her in some way she would never recover? How could she admit she was a coward, wanting to run from him even more than the others.