Mini Shopaholic

I glare around the table and Suze dutifully says, ‘Absolutely!’

‘Don’t worry,’ Luke says wryly. ‘I’ve already seen the worst.’ He reaches up and ruffles Minnie’s hair. ‘I gather she missed out on her big moment?’

‘The vicar just ran off to the bank with everyone else! But it’s OK,’ I add carefully. ‘Because we’re planning to reschedule the christening. For a future date.’

I won’t mention the exact date at this point.

‘Good.’ Luke nods without great interest. ‘Is there any food left?’

‘Loads.’ I nod. I’m about to get up and find him some blinis when Mum comes into the snug, slightly flushed from all the sake she’s been drinking.

‘Listen, loves,’ she says to me and Luke. ‘Reverend Parker’s here. He wants to see you. Shall I send him in here?’

‘Oh, right,’ I say in surprise. ‘Of course!’

I’ve never seen Reverend Parker look sheepish before. As he comes into the snug, his dazzling smile is missing and he can’t quite look either of us in the eyes.

‘Rebecca and Luke, I do apologize,’ he says. ‘Never before have I abandoned a service mid-flow. I can’t think what came over me.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I say magnanimously. ‘We’ve got over it.’

‘I assume you would still like your daughter baptized?’

‘Of course we would!’ I say eagerly. ‘In fact, we were just talking about it. We’ve got it all planned.’

‘I’m so glad.’ He looks around the room. ‘Well, you’re all present and correct, so …’ Before I know what’s going on, he produces a little bottle, unscrews it, and sprinkles some kind of water on Minnie’s forehead. ‘Minnie, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.’

‘What?’ I say feebly, but he doesn’t listen. Now he’s making the sign of the cross on her forehead in oil.

‘Welcome to the church, my child. The Lord bless you and keep you.’ He feels in his pocket and produces a candle, which he gives to me. ‘Congratulations, Rebecca.’ Then he turns to Mum. ‘Did you say there was sushi?’

I can’t speak for shock.

Minnie? Just Minnie?

‘You mean she’s christened now?’ I find my voice. ‘She’s done?’

‘Indeed,’ Reverend Parker says smugly. ‘Having started a job, I do like to finish it. Again, I do apologize for the slight hiatus. Good afternoon, everyone.’

He sweeps out before I can even draw breath, and I stare after him, outraged. He didn’t even ask about middle names. And I’d almost decided!

‘Minnie Brandon.’ Luke hoists her up cheerfully on to his shoulders. ‘A fine name.’ I shoot him a baleful look. ‘I’m going to a grab a bite,’ he adds. ‘See you in a sec.’

As Luke closes the door behind him, I exhale like a deflating balloon. The others seem a bit shell-shocked too.

‘Well, that was a bit sudden,’ says Tom.

‘So we don’t need to hold 7 April any more?’ says Danny.

‘Probably for the best,’ says Jess. ‘Becky, I hate to say it, but you would never have pulled that party off.’

‘Yes I would.’ I glower at her.

‘Well anyway!’ says Suze hastily. ‘It doesn’t matter now, because it’s not going to happen. It’s irrelevant.’

I feel a pang of resentment. Everyone’s just assuming I’ll give up on the idea, aren’t they? Everyone’s assuming I can’t do it. These are supposed to be my friends. They’re supposed to believe in me.

Well, I’ll show them.

‘It’s not irrelevant. And it is going to happen.’ I look around the room, feeling my resolve grow. ‘I’m not going to let that stupid vicar ruin my plans. I’m still going to throw Luke a surprise birthday party. And I’ll do it on a budget, and I’ll keep it totally secret from Luke and I’ll blow his socks off.’

I just about manage to stop myself adding, So there.

‘Bex …’ Suze glances around at the others. ‘It’s not that we think you can’t do it—’

‘Yes it is!’ I say indignantly. ‘That’s exactly what you said! Well, you’ll all be eating your words.’

‘So what’s going on?’ Danny looks up from his BlackBerry, which he’s been tapping at yet again. ‘Is the party on or off?’

‘On,’ I say resolutely. ‘Definitely on.’