Murder Game (GhostWalkers #7)(46)
Author: Christine Feehan

She scowled at him, shaking her head quickly. “No way. That was never part of the plan. I’m going with you. If something goes wrong, I have to be there to—”

“No.” Kadan said the word quietly, his voice so low it was barely audible, yet it cut like a razor, demanding immediate compliance.

Tansy jerked away from the fingers that had settled gently around her wrist like a bracelet—except instead of getting away, she felt the fingers tighten into shackles, preventing her from moving anywhere.

“You won’t be sacrificing your life for theirs. That’s never been an option.” His voice whispered like velvet, but cracked like a whip, lashing across her mind, burning his decree into her brain. He made a small effort to soften the order with an explanation. “We can’t take you into combat, you’d be a liability.”

This was the other side of Kadan. Immovable. His blue eyes were nearly black now, unfathomable, impossible to read. His expression remote.

The three other men drifted from the room, leaving her feeling more vulnerable than ever. She couldn’t be alone with him, not when his mind held hers, determined to force his will on her.

Tansy went very still, refusing to struggle against his grip. Kadan was enormously strong, and there would be no getting away from him until he wanted to let her go. If he wanted cool and remote, well, she could do that as well. She locked her gaze with his, refusing to be intimidated by the dangerous edge to him. He wore the image of a warrior like skin, the fit natural and impressive. Perhaps this was more the true Kadan then the one in her bed, but she couldn’t let him see that her stomach had bunched into knots and her heart beat too fast.

“Fortunately, I am not in the military and not under anyone’s command.”

He didn’t change expression, but she swore a shadow moved across his face. Her heart skipped a beat. She would have finger marks on her inner wrist.

“Really?”

He said one word. Only one. A soft inquiry that sent fear skittering down her spine whether she wanted to be in control or not. Why? After all, what was he going to do?

She found she couldn’t look away from him. His eyes darkened even more. Something hot flickered in the depths so that through the black, his eyes burned with blue flames. She caught her breath as he pulled her hand to the front of his jeans and rubbed her palm over the thickened bulge there.

You’re taking a big chance, baby, arguing with me when you can’t win, but the result is one hell of a wicked hard-on.

He leaned close, his tongue flicking over her ear. I’ll bring them home to you safe. That’s a promise, Tansy.

He wouldn’t guarantee beyond that, but if she looked into his mind, she could see his word was gold. Unless her parents were already dead, he’d find a way.

He’d disarmed her completely with one breath. That small promise. Maybe if she hadn’t been able to touch his mind, feel his assurance, his total commitment to returning her parents to her, she would have snatched her hand away. Instead, she stayed still, her heart beating too fast, her body and mind belonging to him whether she wanted it or not.

A part of her hated the way he made her weak, but defiance and argument seemed stupid. What would it get her? In the end, she would be a liability to them if she went along. They were a team and they were used to working with one another. She knew teamwork, and an outsider could easily ruin their rhythm and throw them all off. And that might get her parents—or the team—killed.

She just wished everything he said didn’t sound like an order. Worse, she hated that there was a part of her that went soft and slick and hot at the sound of his voice when he talked that way. She was crazy to be in any way attracted to a man who wasn’t in the least civilized.

His teeth bit down on her earlobe. You can’t fault me for protecting you.

She closed her eyes as he rubbed against her hand, unsure how to reach him when he felt so distant from her. Is this all there is between us? Explosive chemistry.

She ached with wanting him, but it wasn’t enough. Not now. Not when she’d been in his mind. Not when she could remove the hated gloves and touch his skin.

Not for me, he assured her.

She couldn’t imagine being with another man, wanting to touch him, or have his hands all over her. The things he wanted with her seemed wrong with anyone else and so intensely right with him. She had no idea why, only that she wasn’t ready to walk away from him yet.

Not ever. Deliberately he removed her palm from the front of his jeans and sank his teeth into the center, scraping back and forth, his eyes never leaving her face.

She swallowed hard. “You can’t talk to me like that. I’m not one of your soldiers.”

“I don’t talk to my soldiers like that. Only you. I stand in front of you.”

“I want to be beside you.”

He kept her gaze captive while his tongue swirled over the center of her palm, teasing, reminding, driving her temperature up when she needed to be cool. “I can’t give you that right now, Tansy. I can only give you what and who I am, right now this minute. I have to shield you, because that’s who I am. You have to decide whether or not you can live with that. Whether you can love me, and not just a sliver of me, because the biggest part of who I am is the man standing in front of you.” He kissed her palm and closed her fingers around it. “Even if I could wrap myself up in pretty lies, I’d never be able to pull it off. I don’t know how to be anything else.”

His voice was the same. Absolute confidence. Velvet-soft. Skimming over her body and teasing her inner thighs with excitement. But in his mind, where he didn’t know, where he never looked, there was an edge of despair, a belief that it was impossible for her to love him. She caught a glimpse of his commitment to her, of his intention to hold her to him with any means he had for as long as he could.

He would make every moment together memorable, the sex incomparable, and he would do everything within his power to make her happy while keeping her safe. It was all there for her to see. But that part of his mind was the only part she could feel warm in. And that warm, compassionate side of her, the need to soothe and help others, instantly gave herself to him, even though she recognized he could be every bit as dangerous as those she hunted, or even more so.

She took a breath, let it out, and then leaned in to brush a kiss over his stubborn jaw. “Just try a little harder not to order me around so much.”

He didn’t respond. The others were returning, one by one, looking disinterested when she knew they had to be very engrossed. Instinctively she knew Kadan had never shown a fascination with another woman to them. They had to be somewhat concerned, but they were polite, getting back to business as though nothing had transpired.