My Haunted House
AMBUSH KIT
You need a lot of stuff for an Awful Ambush. And most of the things I needed were--bats. Lots and lots of bats. So I went off to Uncle Drac's turret to catch as many as I could. I'm pretty good at catching bats, as I always help Uncle Drac with them whenever they escape. Aunt Tabby hates bats. She thinks that they are going to nest in her hair, but no self-respecting bat would want to go anywhere near Aunt Tabby's hair, as it is stuffed full of hairpins.
They would be bat-kebabs in five seconds flat. Anyway, I found my bat sack and soon I was crawling very carefully along a rafter at the top of the turret. Uncle Drac was fast asleep, snoring in his sleeping bag, which hung from the rafters and swayed with each snore. There was a crowd of bats fast asleep all around him, although I don't think the bats were snoring. Or perhaps I just couldn't hear them. Maybe bat snores are too high- pitched for humans to hear. "Here, bats, " I whispered, and scooped up as many as I could and stuffed them into the sack. The bats didn't mind; they liked my bat sack. Well, all except Big Bat, who does not like anything, as he is a grumpy old bat.
I grabbed him when he wasn't looking, and he squeaked really loudly. Uncle Drac stopped snoring and snuffled a bit in his sleeping bag, and I froze. I really didn't want him to wake up, as I knew he would not let me have any of his precious bats, even if they were going to save the house from a lot of stupid people who wanted to take it away from us. Uncle Drac's bats are more important to him than anything else in the world. When I had enough bats, I took them all down to Sir Horace's room and left them roosting in the dark. They looked really happy. The next thing I needed for the Awful Ambush Kit was . . . Strawberry Jell-O. This was more difficult, as I had to go back into Aunt Tabby's territory.
Q a large bag of assorted spiders Q a big pile of pillowcases Qa massive tub of strangled ghost squealers Q a huge box of balloons Q a giant bag of flour QQQ
I took it all down to Sir Horace's room and dumped it in a big pile in the middle of the floor. Phew. And then someone coughed. I jumped about six feet into the air and nearly fell into a bucket of Extra-Sticky Strawberry Jell-O. "Hello, " said Edmund. "You shouldn't go creeping up on people like that, " I told him, "especially if you are a ghost. Someone could hurt themselves. " "But Sir Horace told me to come and help you, " Edmund said. "He said that there were some people coming who were going to put him in a dust bin with some bicycles and make him into cat food. But I do not understand why they wish to do this. " "It's because of the Tabitha, " I told Edmund. "Ah, " said Edmund, "I see. "
Last of all I carried out the buckets of Extra-Sticky Strawberry Jell-O and set them up on the edge of the balcony. We left the bats sleeping in Sir Horace's room until they were needed. Then Edmund and I sat down behind the buckets and waited.
We were ready for anything.