Noah (The Mitchell/Healy Family #1)(38)
Author: Jennifer Foor

This side of him, this awful side, only showed me how messed up he was over whatever his father had said. I didn’t know whether I pitied him or was completely upset with him. He was the stranger that I never should have ended up in bed with. I couldn’t hold the pain of this mistake in any longer.

It took one look; one moment to meet my stare, for him to stop. “Shit.” He reached for my hands and pulled me into a sitting position across from him. His head turned as he looked away, disappointed. “God damn it.” When he looked back at me I could see that he was sorry. He pulled me into a hug and held me there, kissing the side of my head every few seconds, but never explaining what the hell had just happened, or the fact that he was still holding me. “Look at me, Shalan. Please.”

I refused. “I thought you were going to hit me.”

He kept his hold on me. “I’d never hurt you like that. Don’t even say that.”

“Noah, you practically slammed me into a wall and forced yourself on me. Just get off of me. I’ll pack my things and leave, and then you won’t have to see me ever again, because my life is none of your f**king business.”

He wouldn’t move.

I slapped his arms, trying to free myself. “Let go of me, Noah. I’m not kidding.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“For which part? You’re sorry for scaring me, or for telling me that I’m the same as a common whore?” I was devastated, especially after feeling like something was developing between us. He was wrong about accusing me of being that kind of woman. I’d never sell my body for money, not to mention that he’d made a comment about me using him like all the other women he’d been with.

“You don’t get it. You never could.” He scrunched up his face, but still didn’t move from above me. “My dad makes me so mad. It makes me say things I don’t mean. I take my anger out on the people around me. I meant nothin’ by it. I don’t think of you that way, I swear. I’d never hurt a woman, especially you, Shalan. You’ve got to believe me. I don’t want you to leave.” The feeling in the room changed just as fast as it had before, but not soon enough for me to feel any better. In a matter of seconds everything I’d felt for Noah was destroyed. He was just like every other man, and it made me sick.

It took all my might, but I managed to push him off of me. I slid off the bed and ran into the bathroom, closing the door before he could get to it. “It’s too late. I’m not into forgiving people. They’ll just end up hurting me again anyway.”

The room suddenly became quiet. I stood on the other side of the door and listened for his reply. After a couple minutes I heard the door to the hall open and close. Quietly I opened the door to find Noah gone.

Without getting dressed I sat down on the edge of the bed and started to bawl. He wasn’t my Prince Charming after all, because there wasn’t such a thing.

Since I didn’t have much to choose from, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tight top that I’d purchased between the second-hand store and Walmart. Two times I went out into the hallway and looked for Noah. He hadn’t called, not that I even knew his number anyway.

By the time I heard him come in I’d just finished putting on my makeup. My hair was styled and I was actually ready to walk out the door to go to the gig without him. From the moment I saw his face I could tell he was broken up about what had happened. As much as I wanted to run right into those strong arms, I knew I couldn’t.

In his hands were bags, and one of them smelled delicious. “I know you’re mad at me. I was a dick. If you want me to get my own room, I will, but I don’t want you to leave. I know how important singin’ is to you. I grabbed this food, because I thought you might be hungry. Also, I picked you up something for you to wear tonight.”

He handed me the bags, but kept standing as if he was going to leave if I asked him to. I pulled out Italian food, enough for four people and sat it on the small table in our room. After motioning for him to sit in the chair across from me, I looked in the other smaller bag.

There had been this dress that I noticed in a window of a store outside of our hotel. It wasn’t glitzy like the one I’d worn the night before. This one was all sex. It was see-thru black everywhere except for the ass and crotch area. Obviously I’d have to wear a bra for the top, but it was definitely something unlike anything I’d ever worn in my life. Basically it was like I was wearing only a bikini out on the stage to perform.

I held the small amount of fabric in my hands and looked at him. “Peace offering?”

He took a bite of bread. “Is it helpin’ at all?”

“You can’t just buy people things when you piss them off. In order to be forgiven you need to prove that what you did wasn’t meant. As much as I appreciate the dress and even dinner, I’d rather know that you won’t ever treat me like that again. Noah, you went psycho and I didn’t like it at all. I don’t sleep with strangers, so being with you went against all of the rules I had made for myself. I thought you were sweet, and you made me feel safe. Right now, I don’t think I’ll ever feel that way about you again. I hope you can accept that.”

He nodded, but seemed defeated. “Yeah, I get it.”

“What did your dad say to make you so mad?” I was so curious as to what caused him to freak out. More importantly, why had he taken it out on me?

“He said that if I don’t come home in three days he’s takin’ my name off of the business completely, throwin’ all my belongin’s in the dumpster, and forbiddin’ me to come back to the ranch. He said that if I don’t come home, I’m not a part of the family anymore and I ain’t welcome. He claims that the ranch is my birthright, and that I never had a choice.”

Noah had told me all about his struggles to live his own life and find his future without his parent’s guidance. I knew that he’d been dealt an ultimatum he wasn’t prepared to handle. If he didn’t go home, he’d lose everything.

In the big picture I was nothing. No wonder he thought he could take out his anger on me. Still, it didn’t change the fact that I’d been scared of him, even if it were only for a few minutes out of the whole time I’d known him.

“What are you going to do?”

He looked down at his plate. “Hell if I know.”

We ate in silence, neither of us really having much to say to each other. I was still mad, and he was literally too messed up to have a rational discussion.