Noah (The Mitchell/Healy Family #1)(6)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“You’re bein’ a bitch!” She was my cousin and I could call her that and not feel bad about it. “I’ve had a shitty mornin’. You’re lucky I give a shit about you enough to still be around. Don’t judge me for my relationships when you f**k yours up the way you do.”

“How did I f**k things up? I’m a good girlfriend.” She stood up and got in my face.

I put my hands on her shoulders and looked down at her. “Just because I don’t want to get serious doesn’t mean I can’t love. After seein’ how your relationship works I don’t feel the need to be in one.”

The door swung open and a cocky voice made us look in the direction of the kitchen. “You two sound like a married couple. Maybe you should just commit incest and get it over with.” Jax smiled at his comment. I let go of my cousin’s shoulders and walked back out of the house, after nudging my cousin hard into the wall.

“It’s good to see you, too,” he yelled through the cracked back door.

This weekend was going to test my nerves for sure. Between dealing with my dad, playing counselor to Bells and dealing with the twins in my house, I was going to need to drink, heavily.

Noah

Bells found me near the old willow tree at the far end of the pasture. It was a far walk unless you were on a golf cart or a horse. Even though my father had wanted to sell them, we still had a few horses that my sisters rode on occasion. The biggest one was named Oz. It had been a while since I’d ridden him, but I knew it would get me away from everyone else. With a bottle of whiskey in my satchel, I took him out in hopes for some peace and quiet.

“I knew I’d find you out here. Maybe you should answer your phone from time to time.” She climbed off and led the smaller female horse named, Puddles, over to tie her up. “It would have saved me the hassle of saddllin’ this one up. She’s tough to deal with.”

“She doesn’t like to be ridden anymore, that’s why.” I took a swig of my dark colored beverage and looked out at the woods.

My cousin plopped down beside me and grabbed the bottle from my hand. She took a few sips and handed back, while scrunching up her face. “That is awful.”

“It does the job.”

“So you’re tryin’ to get drunk? That’s real classy with the whole family here.”

“If you’re here to give me shit you can just turn your little ass around and go back to the house.” As much as I missed her, I wasn’t in any condition to hear her giving me advice.

“What is your problem? I know it’s not just me. You forget I know you better than that.”

I covered my head with my hands and closed my eyes. “I don’t want to be here anymore, Bells. I need to get the hell off of this ranch.”

“You mean tonight? We can go out –.”

“Not just tonight.” I looked over at her. “For good. I’m so f**kin’ sick of it here.”

I’d mentioned it to her before, but I don’t think she’d ever believed me. Usually it was after some heated discussion with my dad, where I just needed to vent.

“This again?”

I stood up and walked away from her. The rustle of the dried grass let me know she was following behind. “Just stay out of it. I’ll wait until you all leave to tell my parents.”

Her hand grabbed my arm at the elbow. I turned to face her, feeling disturbed and unwilling to explain my reasoning any further. “Where are you goin’ to go?”

Our eyes met and I could see concern in hers. “Bells, no matter where I go you’ll always be welcome. I ain’t goin’ far. I just want more for my life. I’m tired of bein’ told what to do. Maybe I want to build houses, or work in an office.”

“You’re bein’ ridiculous, you know you don’t want that.” She was right. Those jobs sounded horrible.

“Maybe I do. Has anyone ever asked me? No! They haven’t. This family is so f**kin’ one-sided. I ain’t doin’ this same old shit anymore.” I took off my baseball cap and wiped the sweat off my forehead. “I ain’t yellin’ at you, Bells.”

“I know.” Her arms wrapped around me and she let her head fall on my chest. “I’m sorry about earlier though. I guess I’ve got my own problems too. Ever since college ended all I hear about is what I’m goin’ to do next.”

“I’d still like the damn opportunity to be able to have a choice. Do you know how hard it is to wake up every day and know that someone has your future planned out for you? I’m sick of it. This shouldn’t be up to my dad or even my grandmother. My dad thinks that since he was cool about runnin’ the ranch, I will be too. That’s bullshit. I’m not him.” As the words escaped my lips I realized that I’d raised my voice.

Bells stared at me with wide eyes. “As pissed as we both know he’s goin’ to be, you can’t NOT say anything, Noah.”

“Yeah, well, I was tryin’ to find the right time to do it.”

She let out a sigh. “There’s probably not goin’ to be a good time to talk to him. I know you’re pissed, but you takin’ over the ranch means everything to your dad. He’s not going to be calm and collected.”

There had been plenty of times where I wanted to bring it up. He had to know I was miserable. I hadn’t kept it a secret. “Yeah, I’m aware of that. It ain’t like there’s ever goin’ to be a good time.”

“Noah, please don’t get mad at me for askin, but are you sure this ain’t just you rebellin’? I mean, are you goin’ to turn around and realize that this is where you belong, after it’s too late?”

“Bells, trust me. I know what I’m doin’.”

The words were said with confidence as they left my lips, but somewhere inside of me my heart was telling me something completely different. I’d fought with myself over them each and every night. I wasn’t exactly sure why, because I knew I wasn’t happy. It was just there, buried deep inside where nobody else would ever know.

Bells and I enjoyed the sun setting and the sounds of nature all around us. We’d talked about many things, but finally she asked something that I wasn’t sure I had an answer for. I guess I just hadn’t thought that far ahead to even consider it.

“Noah, what are you goin’ to do if your dad tells you that you have to leave? I know he’s your family, but we both get how strict he is. Have you considered that he’s goin’ to be so pissed that he tells you to leave the ranch?”