Off the Record (Record #1)(81)
Author: K.A. Linde

“So, tell me,” Victoria said, wrapping an arm across Liz’s shoulders. “What happened?”

“He kissed me,” Liz sputtered out.

Victoria stiffened and Liz glanced up at her. She had an amused expression on her face. “You’re crying because Hayden kissed you?”

“Ugh! No!” she cried, shaking her head. “I can’t even right now, Vic.”

“Liz, come on. Didn’t you want Hayden to kiss you? I’m confused.”

“Yes, I did, but not now! I wanted him to kiss me before. I wanted him to want me then…when it would have mattered!”

Victoria scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion. “You’ve lost me. Why does it matter if it’s then or now? He kissed you. He wants you. I told you so.”

“Because…I’m seeing someone else,” Liz whispered, burying her head in her hands.

“What?” Victoria asked, flabbergasted. “Since when? Who? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Liz shook her head. “I can’t talk about it, but we’ve been seeing each other all summer.”

“Why can’t you talk about it?”

Liz looked up into Victoria’s eyes and sighed. “I just can’t, Vic. I haven’t told anyone about it. I mean, I just told you, but that’s it, and I can’t even tell you who it is. But he loves me, Vic, and I kissed someone else.”

“Whoa, love?” Victoria asked. “He told you he loves you?”

“Erm…” Liz muttered, biting her lip. “Not exactly, but I overheard him tell someone else.”

Victoria breathed out really fast and glanced away, as if she were thinking about the situation at hand. “Let me get this straight. You’ve been secretly seeing someone all summer, who you can’t tell me about, who you overheard tell someone else that he loves you, and you’re crying because another guy kissed you?”

Liz stood very still while Victoria laid out her situation plainly. If only she could tell her more, it wouldn’t sound so…silly.

“I don’t want to break your heart, Liz, but it sounds like that other guy is using you…”

“He’s not,” she answered immediately.

“Why does he have to keep it a secret?”

“I can’t talk about it…”

“Well, if it is that big a secret, then you can’t reasonably say that you two are dating. You have to be in a relationship for it to be wrong to kiss someone else. It kind of sounds to me like this guy is stringing you along…”

“Victoria, he’s not. I swear. He’s not.” Liz dropped her head into her hands. She didn’t even want to consider that Victoria’s words were true. She wished she could just tell Victoria what was going on. It would be so nice to have it all out in the open.

“Well, you won’t tell me the whole situation! From an outsider’s perspective, this sounds like a bad idea. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over a kiss with Hayden if you can’t even tell your best friend who the other guy is. I bet he doesn’t want you near other guys either, right?” Victoria asked, rolling her eyes.

Liz froze. Her tears dammed up. “He doesn’t, but I don’t know any guy who does.”

“I’ve been with a guy who wanted to keep things on the down-low, and let me tell you, it didn’t end pretty. He was seeing someone else on the side, all the while telling me not to see anyone else. I thought it was kind of stupid, but went along with it for a little while, because I was kind of into him. Then I find him sleeping with someone else and he doesn’t understand why I would be against that,” Victoria said, shaking her head. “All I’m saying is that a guy who wants to keep secrets from other people…is going to be okay keeping secrets from you…”

Liz wished that she could tell Victoria the whole situation. She wanted to so badly. “It’s not like that…”

“Then tell me who he is,” Victoria said, standing with her hands on her hips. “If it’s not like that, then tell me who this guy is.”

“I can’t tell you, Victoria! If I could, I would have told you already!” Liz cried.

“Seriously, I don’t get it. Why is it such a big deal?” Victoria demanded. “Can you at least tell me that?”

“No! I can’t!” Liz yelled back, pushing her hands into her hair.

“Ridiculous. What kind of guy forces you to keep secrets from everyone?” Victoria asked, pacing.

“I can’t explain it. But I don’t want to keep secrets anymore. I want to be out in the open. I want whatever we have to be all the time.”

Victoria rolled her eyes again. “I hate to be pessimistic about this, Liz. I want you to be happy, but this sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

Liz sighed heavily. It did sound like a recipe for disaster. Before, when it had just been about the sex, none of this mattered. But now it did, and maybe all along he was using her and stringing her along and it had been okay, because she was doing the same thing. Now that wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She wanted a relationship with Brady, which had its own set of problems.

“I know,” Liz finally whispered, pressing her hand under her eyes to wipe away the last remaining tears. “I guess I’ll have to talk to him.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Victoria said, sitting back down finally. “I’m sorry I made things worse. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’re sure you can’t tell me. It might make me understand…”

“Vic,” Liz interrupted, “I can’t tell you.”

“Okay,” she said with a shrug. “Talk to this guy and tell him what you told me. See what happens. But Liz…”

“Yeah?” Liz glanced up into Victoria’s face.

“You didn’t do anything wrong by kissing Hayden. Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise, all right?”

Liz sighed and nodded. If she hadn’t done anything wrong, then why did she still feel so bad?

The next day, Liz trudged onto campus bright and early to get her grade from her journalism professor. She hadn’t slept much, because she had been waiting for Brady to call her. He knew when she was coming back, so he could have called last night, but he didn’t. She would have to wait for Brady, as difficult as that was.

She walked through the journalism building until she found Professor Mires’s office. The door was open and a student was already inside talking to her. Liz took a seat in a chair outside of the room and waited.