Pure Wicked (Wicked Lovers #9.5)(33)
Author: Shayla Black

“Is that his name?” When he nodded, she giggled. “No wonder you grimaced a lot.”

“Next time, I want to hear my name on your lips. And don’t say there won’t be one.”

“I want there to be one, too.” She took a deep breath. “But you’ve got a lot on your plate and a career to go back to. My life is here. And really, where could we take this?”

Damn, she was fighting the relationship thing hard. She had no idea how willing he was to fight back. “I don’t know but I’m not giving up merely because it doesn’t look obvious or it won’t be easy. We’re going to take it one day at a time, okay?” At her uncertain stare, he tried to bite back his frustration. “What’s making you hesitate most. The fame? My crazy past? The newness of our relationship?”

She shook her head. “All of it.”

Her hesitation was understandable. That didn’t make him less impatient to be done with it. “First, you may not think you know me well, but I will never fuck you over like Hayden. I already know you’re not the kind of girl to sleep with a celebrity simply because you can or want to get pregnant for a payday. The getting-to-know-you thing will take time. So will total trust. But I’m willing to be all in if you are.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. Because I’ve tried everything else, so I know something good when I find it. The fame is fleeting and not real. I mean, yes, I have paparazzi chasing me and a monster social media presence. I’ve got screaming fans who don’t always know how to observe proper boundaries. But this also allows me to make a hell of a nice living and to do some good in the world through various charities. I try not to take it too seriously, especially since it could all be gone tomorrow.”

She gave him a shaky nod. “And the rest?”

“I can’t undo my past. There was a lot of booze and drugs. I did a bunch of crazy, off-the-chain shit. Because at seventeen, nothing sounds more awesome than living the ultimate rock star fantasy.” He shook his head at the waste of it all. “It took me a decade but I finally started questioning whether I should do any of that wild crap. So I sobered up, and that part of my life is done. Sobriety has given me a clarity about life I’ve never had. Losing Ryan has made me realize that life can be even more fleeting than I thought.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she murmured, reaching for his hands and giving them a squeeze.

Jesse clutched at her. “He was a friend. When I changed my ways, it pissed him off. We used to get wasted and tag team women together. I won’t lie; we did it a lot. Once I decided to change, he had no one to party with. He started using more, fucking random girls more. I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t stop him.”

When he choked back his guilt, Bristol slid closer to him. “It’s not your fault.”

“No, he made his choices. Just like I made mine. But I’ll always wonder if I could have said or done something different to help him. If I could have saved him.”

“Don’t feel guilty for surviving. You did what you had to do for you.”

He nodded. “I knew if I didn’t, I was going to die. The morning I woke up on a hotel balcony puking next to Ryan, five naked girls passed out around us, hung over like a bitch with no idea what continent I was even on, I knew something had to change.”

Bristol withdrew her hands. “That’s a lot of women.”

“Yep. More than I even remember.” He shrugged. “But I can honestly tell you that I’ve never stood in front of any of them and truly tried to work out our relationship. I was engaged once to a friend years ago. She ended up marrying another guy and they’re expecting baby number two. That’s the most serious relationship I’ve had. Until you.”

“I’ve slept with three men in my life, including you. And obviously you’ve been with hundreds of girls.”

Probably more. “The number doesn’t matter. None of this is about genitals. It’s about feelings. I have them for you. I think you have them for me.”

For a long moment, Bristol looked afraid to be honest. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah.”

“So we’re beyond a hookup. It’s up to us to figure out where to go from here. Who’s watching the restaurant?”

“Jayla.”

“So…you don’t have to be downstairs again right away?” He sent her a smile rife with seduction.

Bristol hesitated, then pulled her phone from her pocket and dashed off a text. A ding came moments later. Then she met his stare with a challenge of her own. “Jayla says all is quiet for now, so I could probably stay another minute or two.”