Redeem Me (Kin #6)(27)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Knowing that she was in there probably staring at the door, waiting for my return, I had to figure out what I was going to do. The unfortunate shock had left me scatterbrained.

My hands became sweaty, and I could feel bile rising in my throat. My head began to spin, so much that I had to sit down to steady myself. For those few moments I felt like my life was going to be over.

Then I called my brother. He’d been there for me before, and I was hoping he’d know what I should do now. It was hard to imagine what to say to someone who I’d almost ruined their life, but I couldn’t think of one other person that would listen. I didn’t have friends that I trusted with this kind of information, and I certainly couldn’t call Peyton. She’d just had a baby, and was settling into having a family. Her opinions would be biased.

Shayne answered after two rings. “Hey, Parker. What’s up?”

“I f**ked up again, bro. I f**ked up so bad that I don’t know what I’m goin’ to do.”

“Slow down. What are you talkin’ about? What happened?”

It was ridiculous to try to sugar coat it in any way. Shayne wanted the truth. “It’s Cameron. She’s in the hospital.”

“What the hell is goin’ on? Did you hurt her?”

“No. Of course not! I’d never lay a hand on a woman. It’s nothin’ like that. She’s in the hospital because she was havin’ a miscarriage. I didn’t know she was pregnant, man. I swear to God.”

“Shit. Is she all right? What do you need me to do, man?”

“Shayne, it was twins.” I couldn’t believe that I was going to say it, so I paused to make sure I could go through with it. “One of them survived. Cam’s in shock and I just had to walk away. I’m losin’ it, bro. I can’t handle this. What am I supposed to do now?”

“I can’t believe you called me with this, Parker. It’s messed up in so many ways. I hope you know that.” The line went silent. When he spoke again his voice was calmer. “There’s only one thing you can do.”

I was almost afraid to even ask. “What’s that?”

“First you’re goin’ to need to go in there and beg her to forgive you for actin’ like an ass. Then you’ll need to face the fact that the woman you love is carryin’ your child. The timin’ may suck, but shit happens. You’re goin’ to be a father.”

“I’m not ready for this shit, Shayne. Cam and I talked about this already. Hell, we just got back together.”

“Parker, you know as well as I do that life takes us in directions we don’t plan.”

“Mom and Dad are never goin’ to forgive me this time. There’s no way they’ll understand.”

Shayne laughed at me. “Do you hear yourself? You’re an adult now. It’s not their decision to make. Besides, they’ll forgive you, just like I have. We all make mistakes. Look, Mom and Dad are going nuts over Peyton’s little one. Don’t think for a second that they wouldn’t welcome another grandchild into the family. We’re all blood. You can’t ever forget that.”

Something Shayne said caught my attention more than anything else. “You really think they’d forgive me?”

Shayne snickered on the other end of the phone. “You’re their son. Dad might be a hard ass, but he talks about you all the damn time. Parker, he just wants you to learn from your mistakes. He wants you to be responsible. This is your chance. Show them you can be a father to your kid.”

As soon as he said it I knew he’d get upset with himself. There were still certain things that were so touchy to talk about. I hated that every conversation reverted back to the twins, making my brother feel absolutely vulnerable that I’d one day want to take them from him. That alone left me wondering how my family could ever deal with this latest bout from my life. It was as if everything I touched turned to shit. “Shayne, I know what you meant. Look, I didn’t call you to get you upset about the twins. I told you before, and I’ll keep tellin’ ya, I’m never goin’ to take them away from you. I’m content watchin’ them grow up under one roof with two parents that love them.”

“I know. I appreciate you remindin’ me. I guess we all have issues that we need to get over. Yours is learnin’ how to accept that we can’t change our future. You need to learn that sometimes life gets in the way. I’m sure Cameron’s freakin’ out right now. Have you considered how hard this is for her, especially with how strict her family is? They’re goin’ to flip out.” Shayne was right. Her dad was going to go ballistic, because having a baby put a huge damper in her future plans.

“Shit. I need to go.”

After saying goodbye to my brother, I rushed back inside of the hospital. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to her, but first I needed to apologize for running out. We weren’t in this alone, because we had each other. We’d figure it out together.

Cameron

This couldn’t be happening to me. My life had been so strategically planned out. I’d taken my pills every single day, and made sure to mark my cycle on my calendar. There was no way this was even possible.

Parker and I had just reconciled. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t ready to be a father. Immediately after making that statement he was finding out that I was pregnant with his child. Not only was it horrible timing, but the lowest blow of bad news to someone that had no desire to procreate.

The worst-case scenario happened as I watched him walk right out of the room without saying anything to me at all. It didn’t just hurt my feelings, but made me worry that he might not ever talk to me again.

I knew that inclination was ridiculous to imagine, but more bad thoughts continued to blind my judgment of the man I loved. I’d never seen Parker speechless before, and the pain in his eyes told me more than I think I even wanted to know.

It wasn’t just Parker that was upsetting me. The idea of being pregnant and losing a child was devastating. What was even more surprising was the fact that I hadn’t even known I was with child. How could something hurt us so much when I never had any knowledge of it?

I couldn’t hold back the tears once they started. My life was never going to be the same. All of the aspirations that I had for my future were going to be over with. If my body carried this child to term I was going to be a mother in less than seven months. That wasn’t enough time to prepare mentally for a life-changing event. It didn’t give me a chance to break my parents’ hearts, and regain their love. I didn’t yet know if it was enough time to convince Parker that we could be good parents. The truth was that I didn’t even know if it was possible. He didn’t want to have a child, and I knew nothing about them. How could two people like us steadily begin to fathom being responsible for an innocent life?