Redeem Me (Kin #6)(42)
Author: Jennifer Foor

My dad put his hand on my shoulder, but it didn’t help with my breakdown. Nothing could have helped me. He was right. I’d made my bed and now I had to lay in it. I’d given up all parental rights, acting like an ass**le when all Ashley wanted was my support. She didn’t beg me to marry her, or even be a father. All she wanted was me to be civil. Instead I’d been terrible. I’d pushed her away, calling her names that weren’t true. We’d both been on that beach together. It wasn’t her idea, or mine. What happened wasn’t planned. It came from a ton of alcohol, and being lonely. I saw her as a drunken conquest, and she just wanted to feel like someone in the world wanted her, because she’d just lost Ford. That next morning, when I realized what had happened, and my brother helped us cover it up, I should have known better than to think it was over.

I think from the moment I found out she was pregnant I’d been in denial. I figured that if I didn’t want them then nothing in my life would change. I could continue with school, date my beautiful girlfriend, and move forward, while Ashley became a mother, and finally a wife.

My father was right about the full circle. Everything that I’d swept under the rug was showing it’s ugly face now. I had no legal rights over the twins, and because of my love for my family, I never would. That ship had sailed, and my brother had stepped in. The twins belonged to him now, and as much as I knew they’d be taken care of, I realized that I’d never be able to experience the love that Shayne would have with them. Eli would never come to me for advice with girls, or when someone picked on him. I’d never be able to say that Becca was a daddy’s girl, because the idea of Shayne being her father was like a dagger being driven into my heart.

After all this time that had passed it was clear. I’d have to watch them grow up, knowing that I could have been their everything. I would have made it work, somehow being the man that they needed me to be. My chance was long gone, leaving a constant hole in my heart.

The secret wasn’t what I’d been afraid of telling Cameron. It was the truth that I couldn’t bear to share with her. It was the utter regret of making the wrong choice. I’d been a coward, and I deserved to lose everything.

I don’t know how long we stayed out in the truck. My father never left my side, though he remained quiet during the whole breakdown. I think silently he was smiling, knowing he’d been right about this the whole time. His pushing me away hadn’t been from anger. It was disappointment. He knew what it was like to love a child, and hated the idea that I’d been so easy to give it away.

“I’m so sorry, dad. You were right. I can’t stop lovin’ them. I can’t look at them and not see myself. They’re mine and they’ll never know it. How am I ever going to live with it?” I cried, so hard that I felt like my head would explode. It wasn’t normal for me to lose control. I never cried, and the fact that this had all exploded in my face let me know just how serious it was. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ve got to look forward. That’s the first step in getting through it. I know it’s hard. I feel your pain, but you’ve got to be able to accept that there’s things in life we can’t change. We’ve got to learn how to deal with what we’ve been given. Cameron’s a good girl, and you’ve got a second chance to be the kind of father a child would be proud of.”

“I want that.” It was the truth. This whole pregnancy hadn’t just opened my eyes to the past, it was giving me an opportunity to be the person that my parents had raised. It had matured me. “I really do.”

“I suggest you figure out a way to make things right with her then.”

His wise words rang true in my mind. I needed to find a way to make-up with Cameron. She meant everything to me, and I couldn’t imagine losing her. I had to convince her that I was already in love with our baby.

“I’ll give her some time to calm down. When you drive me I’ll know what to say to her. I’ll make this right. I have to.”

Cameron

This couldn’t be happening to me. “Dad?”

The man in front of me wasn’t too keen on my response. His grimace allowed me to be prepared for whatever he had to say. “Are you going to invite me inside of this shack you’re residing in?”

I backed away from the door, ashamed that the bed wasn’t even made. He entered and looked around, before turning his glare back toward me. “This is the epitome of an apartment. Is this the life you want?”

I shrugged. “It’s temporary.”

“It’s pathetic. You’re being irrational, Cameron. The car is running downstairs. Gather your belongings and come with me. I’m taking you home, and having your doctor check you for parasites.” He looked around the room. “I’m sure there are roaches crawling all over this place. It pains me to see you in these conditions.”

I placed both hands on my hips. “I’m not leaving.”

It was difficult for me to argue with my father, especially after fighting with Parker. We’d left things unsettled.

“You will come with me, or I’ll make sure to cause Parker and his football career serious problems.”

“Go ahead and try.”

“You think that I can’t make a hefty donation and persuade the scouts to look in a different direction?” His threats were true. I knew he had the power to manipulate people. I’d seen him do it before.

“Please don’t. I love him. We just want to be together.”

“I will not have my daughter living in these type of conditions. Pack your things or else I’ll pack them for you.”

I placed my hand on my stomach, reminding myself that it wasn’t just me anymore. “You’re too late. I can’t have an abortion. You’d be risking my health.”

“It’s not too late for adoption. I’ve already called my associates to have them look for a proper family. The child will grow up wanting nothing, as you have.”

“I won’t let you take my baby. I’m an adult. It’s my right to keep it. Get out of here, before I call the police.” I wasn’t leaving, and no matter what he threatened, that wasn’t going to change.

My dad pulled out his phone. Right away he was on the line with someone. “This is Evan Hynson. I’m calling to report a theft. My vehicle was stolen by my daughter’s ex-boyfriend.”