Reject Me (Kin #5)(9)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Parker rubbed his face, seemingly disappointed in my choices. “What is with you women and your head games?”

“This isn’t a game. It’s my heart, Parker. I want him to love me, and the girls said that if I wanted to know for sure how he felt I needed to force it out of him. Jamey’s taken advantage of me for a long time. Whether he loves me or not is yet to be determined, but either way I took myself out of the equation to let him decide on his own.”

“You’re fully prepared for him to not come runnin’?”

My lips trembled as I answered. “Not really, but I’ll have to be.”

“Pey, maybe it’s because I’m tired, but your plan sounds like an epic fail. You set the guy free. He’s never been one to settle down anyway. You and Jamey, well it was always more than he admitted. Just because you didn’t put a stupid label on it didn’t make it real.”

I felt my stomach knotting up. “So you think I screwed up?”

“I don’t know. Jamey’s a douche. He always has been. There’s no tellin’ what he does. At least he messaged to check on you. That there proves that he cares.”

“I don’t want him to just care about me. I already know he does. He might not show it, but he does.”

“That’s just it. You want him to be all in. Maybe he’s not capable of it.”

“Just go back to bed, Parker. You’re making me want to puke.”

“There’s a bottle of whiskey in my top drawer. I’ve got class in the mornin’ so I’m goin’ to take your advice. You can crash here as long as you need to, just don’t tell them your last name in case you get caught.”

I knew he meant well, but Parker never held back his feeling when it came to me, especially when it had to do with some guy. Just like everyone else that knew me, he thought Jamey was just another guy that I’d soon get over. Why was it so hard for everyone to understand that this time was different for me. I was in love with that man, and I had been for a long time.

For a while I just laid there staring at nothing but darkness. Beside me my brother snored lightly, while his roommate tossed and turned and talked in his sleep about some paper that he lost. While trying to focus on anything besides not being in bed next to Jamey, I finally dozed off.

The next thing I knew I was waking up alone in the small twin sized bed. Parker left me a little note on his pillow.

Dear sister that woke me up in the middle of the night:

I’m having lunch with my girlfriend if you want to tag along. Text me and I’ll tell you where to meet us. You’re going to be okay, Peyton. If you need me I’m just a phone call away.

Parker

There was no way I was going to feel like the third wheel, so I didn’t text my brother. Instead I ravaged his drawers looking for something edible to appease my grumbling stomach. When I came up empty, I decided to go out and find the cafeteria. After brushing my teeth and hair, and changing into clean clothes, I stepped out onto the campus and asked the first girl I came in contact with.

Finding the place was easy, and filling up a tray full of food was easier. It was deciding where to sit that was the big dilemma. I never anticipated someone approaching me with an invite. “Hey, you look lost. I’m Seth.” His hair was a light brown, and he had these eyes that were just about the same color as his hair. His teeth were perfect, but not the kind that had been through years of braces. I smiled and tried to be polite, even though I had no interest in sitting with a strange guy.

“I’m here visitin’ my brother.”

“A southern drawl. How sexy. You want to join me and my friends while you eat?”

I looked down at the tray, and over where he was pointing. At a few outside tables was a bunch of people chatting and carrying on with each other. They all looked so happy, and I felt left out because I didn’t want the whole college experience. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m just going to sit inside and wait for my brother,” I lied.

“If you need a tour, I’m your man.” He patted my shoulder and walked back outside with his friends. I tried not to look too many times out the window at them, but curiosity got the best of me. Each time I glanced out that glass pane I saw a life that I could be having. I saw a future that I could have been giving myself, had I just made the right choices. It was unsettling that on top of my break-up I was dwelling on what else I could have had.

My appetite was definitely affected by my inability to focus on anything positive. After throwing away more than I ate, I retreated back to my brother’s room to hide out. The messages started coming in a little after I’d gotten settled.

How long are you going to act like this? – J

Avoiding me doesn’t solve anything. – J

I wrote back before I could talk myself out of it.

I want more than you’re willing to give me. – P

You want something that’s impossible for me to give you. We’re good together. Can’t you be happy with that? – J

Not anymore. I’m tired of settling. I deserve more. You can either give me what I want or watch me walk away. – P

I waited for him to answer, and regretted sending him the message. It was easy to be strong behind the screen of my phone.

Have it your way. Don’t come back begging once you find out I’ve moved on. – J

It hurt so much to read, but I think I did it fifteen times before tossing my phone onto the floor. In my mind I knew that my family had been right about Jamey, but it didn’t make my heart feel any better. I’d given him too much time to let go so easily. There had to be another way to get him to see that I was worth it.

My brother showed up some time in the afternoon. Since I refused to look at my phone anymore I didn’t bother checking for the time. His roommate had also stopped by, but only to grab a change of clothes. After locating his Xbox, underneath of a pile of clothes, I’d helped myself to playing it. Parker plopped down on the bed behind me and tried to get the paddle out of my hands. “Let me have a turn.”

“What are you five? I’m not sharin’. I got this far and you’re just pissed because I’ve always been better at this stuff than you.”

Parker fought me more for the paddle. He knew he was stronger than me, but didn’t put up a fight once I started screaming. When I won the battle the game didn’t seem all that interesting anymore. I put the paddle down in my lap and looked over at my brother. “I know I can’t stay here.”