Repair Me (Kin #1)(55)
Author: Jennifer Foor

As I walked into the living room I saw something that made me stop dead in my tracks. My mother and father were asleep in each other’s arms, on the couch. I watched them sleeping for a few seconds and then the guilt set in.

What if this really was a second chance for them? What if faith and my father’s love was what my mother needed in order to heal and recover? How was I supposed to be selfish and not give them that chance?

I found a few bottles of liquor and took them up to my apartment. I didn’t care if I drank myself to death. What did I have to look forward to? I’d finally found someone that I was considering spending my future with and I couldn’t have her. For all I knew she’d never even talk to me again. I missed her already and it had only been hours. How was I supposed to get by when those hours turned to days and then weeks? Was I ever going to be able to forget about her?

My heart was numb and I wanted my mind to be the same. I downed one of the bottles of alcohol, never even noticing what it was that I’d drank. It burned going down, which meant it was going to work fast.

Even a grown man can break down once in a while and I could feel it coming. The more I drank, the more I thought about Sky. Still, I kept going. I wanted to pass out, because it was the only way to not think about what I was losing.

I don’t know how long I sat there. It could have been a few minutes, or even a couple of hours. It was such a disaster that none of that mattered anymore. A knock on my door woke me right out of my sulking.

Thinking that it was Sky, I ran toward the door. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and tell her that I was never going to let her go again. Except, it wasn’t Sky. Shayne stood there, leaning against the frame of the door. “I heard you might need some company.”

“Yeah, from who?”

“Lacey called me from Sky’s house. Why’d you do it, man? Why’d you give up a piece like that?”

I shoved him against the wall. “Don’t you f**kin’ call her that!”

He put up his hands and tried to get me to calm down. “I thought you dumped her. Chill the f**k out, dude!”

I shoved him away from me and walked back into the kitchen where I’d been sitting. “I didn’t have a damn choice. Ashley’s f**kin’ pregnant and her piece of shit father is forcin’ my hand at bein’ with her.”

“What do you mean, forcin’?”

I shook my head and took another hit of the bottle. Then I grabbed my smokes and lit one up. I’d been trying to quit, but I guess I didn’t have a reason anymore. “We owe back taxes. It’s enough for the damn state to seize our land. He made me a deal that I couldn’t refuse. I get a baby and my dad gets to keep his property.”

“He can’t do that!”

“He already did. Look, I don’t have a f**kin’ choice. You think I wanted to walk away from Sky? I’m crazy about her. I’d never walk away from what we have.”

Shayne shook his head. “Man, I wish I could tell you what to do, but I guess you have your mind made up. This explains why Sky called Lacey freakin’ out. We could barely understand what she was sayin’.”

I took another drag and appreciated the way the smoke was helping me relax. Since I’d cut back so much, the nicotine gave me a temporary sort of high. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. She consumed my thoughts. “I didn’t want to leave. Trust me when I say that. I don’t want anythin’ from Ash. That bitch has ruined my life, for the second damn time. I hate her!”

“Maybe the baby belongs to someone else?”

I appreciated my cousin having my back. “Yeah, like that would ever happen. She’s been obsessed with me since I got back. Hell, she practically raped me the night she apparently conceived. In my right mind, I never would have touched that bitch. I should have known not to even hang out with her.”

“Man, I am real sorry. I wish there was somethin’ I could do.”

“I just need to be alone. As much as I appreciate you stopping by, I need to figure things out myself.”

We said our goodbyes and I was left alone in my apartment. Sitting there was getting me nowhere. I knew I should have given her time, but I wanted to hear her voice, so I walked outside, to get service, and called Sky. It rang until the voicemail picked up. Maybe I should have left a message telling her how sorry I was. Maybe I should have told her how much she’d always meant to me.

I hung up and walked back inside, where I drank until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. The damage had been done. Having a baby with another woman was a deal breaker. In Sky’s eyes, it was wrong for me to have slept with Ash in the first place. The fact that I’d made a baby with someone else, hours after sleeping with her, must have been devastating. Her hating me didn’t touch the surface when it came to how much I hated myself.

Chapter 25

Skylar

I’ve heard people say that what’s broken can always be fixed, but that didn’t seem to be true in my eyes. My heart was not only broken, it was shattered into a million pieces. Ford didn’t just rip out my heart; he left a space that could never be filled by anyone else. My love for him remained and I think that is what hurt the worst.

How could I not love a man that was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the ones he loved? Loving him was the easy part. Getting over him was what was impossible.

It took me a few days to come out of my room. My dad did everything in his power to cheer me up, including buying me a long overdue new vehicle. Not that I cared. The only thing I wanted was the one thing I would never have.

My mother cancelled a business trip and tried to console me. Her efforts were useless. I felt like a zombie, living only to breathe in air, but having no real reason to exist.

School started three weeks after our break-up. I put on my best face and attended, except my head wasn’t in it. Being out in public left me more depressed. Especially being on a coed campus where couples lurked in every corner. Each time I’d see two people kissing, it made me upset. I carried a box of tissues in my book bag and even stopped wearing makeup, because it never lasted after my first morning cry.

As far as my courses went, well I had pretty much stopped caring what I did for a living. A future without a heart wasn’t worth having.

I realize that I must have looked pathetic, but that’s exactly how I felt.

I felt pathetic, alone, and empty inside.

Ford invaded my soul and I thought about him every second. At times, I felt like he was a teenage crush that you never get over.