Replace Me (Kin #2)(49)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Lacey remained quiet for a while, staring out the window as I drove. We stopped at a Dunkin Donuts before the Chesapeake Bay Bridge to keep us both awake. Dulles wasn’t that far, but traffic was usually horrendous no matter what time of the day or night it was.

“What if this is a mistake?”

Her question was filled with angst. “If he’s anything like me, he’s crazy about you, Lace. Is that what you’re worried about? Do you really think he’ll reject you?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. What if he’s hooked up with someone else? I’m sure there’s lots of beautiful women in Rome.”

“There’s beautiful women everywhere, but that doesn’t mean he wants them anymore. His brother says he’s crazy about you. He said that he’s never seen him act the way he did about you.”

“What if he hates me? God, we should just turn around. This is a terrible idea.”

I reached over and grabbed her hand. She was shaking, like she did when she was scared or upset. “Calm down. Look, maybe I’m the wrong person to explain this to you, but you need to listen anyway. Guys like gettin’ laid. We like the way it feels to be intimate with a woman, even if there’s no emotional connection involved. It’s just about the pleasure and nothing else. When a man starts to have feelin’s for someone, their needs change. I’m not goin’ to lie and say that Joey wouldn’t sleep with someone else, but if he was, he was doin’ it because bein’ alone is killin’ him inside. The idea of you bein’ with someone else is keepin’ him from sleepin’ and even eatin’. He would do it to relieve the stress he’s under, not to fall in love with someone else.”

Lacey adjusted in her seat, like I’d made her feel uncomfortable, or I had the plague. “You’re speaking from personal experience aren’t you?”

I nodded, but kept my eyes on the road. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Why are you doing this then, Shayne? Why drive me to go be with someone else?”

I glanced at her before looking back at the road. “Because I’m sick of bein’ selfish and gettin’ nothin’ but grief. I’m not right for you and I know it. Yeah, it f**kin’ hurts. I feel like shit every day thinkin’ about not bein’ able to be with you, but I know it’s the way its got to be. I had my chance and we both know how that went. Plus, I’m no fool. That last time we were together, you were different. I could tell I wasn’t the one you wanted to be with that night. I was just too selfish to admit it. These past couple months have sucked for me, except they’ve let me know just how f**ked up my life was. I need to change, Lace, because I want to be happy. Besides, I’ve got too much on my plate right now with the twins comin’. Once that happens, the whole family is goin’ to shun me. I’ll be needin’ your friendship then, so I figure by helping you, maybe you can find it in your heart to finally forgive me.”

She reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I do, Shayne. I’ll always be there for you.”

“That means you have to answer my calls, you know.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I’ll work on that.”

We talked about other things, not related to either of our problems for the rest of the drive. After nearly two hours, we arrived at the airport. Lacey got out and came around to my side of the vehicle. Her arms wrapped around my back. “Thank you, Shayne.”

I kissed the top of her head and felt like I was saying goodbye forever. It felt like if I let go of her, she was never going to come back. It was difficult to look her in the eyes. “Anytime, Lace. If he hurts you, call me and I’ll be on the next flight.”

She began to laugh, but I could tell she was starting to cry. “I might hold you to it. Maybe you need to remind me that this isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

I leaned my forehead against hers. “It’s not stupid. It’s incredible.”

She looked right at me and I watched her trembling lips trying to say words. All I heard were sobs.

We stood there, for what felt like forever, in the drop-off lane at the airport. I didn’t want to let her go, but she couldn’t stand there forever. We kissed, one last time, full on the lips. I ran my hand up and held the back of her head, then finally let go. I wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Have a safe trip.”

“I’ll call you when I get there, I promise.”

Then she walked inside.

I sat back in my car and watched her until she disappeared between the crowds of people. My heart was empty, but I felt happy.

Once I got onto the freeway, I could feel the stinging. I’d been fighting with my emotions for a while and this time, I’d given up. Tears fell down my face and I eventually had to pull over to get a handle on myself. Life was all about decisions, and even though I knew I’d made the right one, I was still the one who ended up alone.

I called Ash once I knew I was good enough to talk again.

“Shayne, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m on my way back.”

“Do you want me to wait up?”

“Do you mind talkin’ to me while I drive? I could use the company.”

“That bad, huh? I’m sorry, Shayne.”

“It’s not your fault. I made my own choices. It’s just hard sayin’ goodbye. As much as I hated it, I can see how he’d change for her.”

“Like Ford did with Sky.”

“Yeah. Do you think there’s someone out there like that for you and me?”

“I hope so. You’ll find love first. I mean, I’ll be too busy raisin’ these twins. My life is pretty much set in stone now. One day you’ll be free of it all and just be an uncle.”

“Ash, there are men out there that would love to be with you. We just need to be patient.”

We talked for the rest of my ride, making it go by a lot faster. When I walked in the door, I found Ash asleep with the phone still next to her ear. I picked her up and carried her to her room, tucking her into bed.

I may not have gotten the girl I wanted, but I gained a friend that I could talk about anything with. My family didn’t have to approve, in fact, I liked that they didn’t, because my business was my own to keep.

One day I would change their minds about me. I didn’t know how yet, but I wouldn’t stop working on it until I got it right.

Lacey

Sitting alone in an airport, with a very long flight in front of me, wasn’t exactly easy. I bit all of my fingernails and contemplated calling Shayne a dozen times to come and pick me up. The plane arrived early and boarding started shortly after. Since it was a late night flight, it wasn’t full. I had the whole row to myself. Realizing that I hadn’t packed magazines or anything to bide my time, I decided to try and go to sleep.