Replace Me (Kin #2)(56)
Author: Jennifer Foor

My heart still ached though.

Our time together was limited and I hated thinking about it.

By the next morning we’d settled nothing and Joey had to get up and head to work for six hours. He showered and dressed before sitting down next to me on the couch. “I’ll be back in time to take you out for dinner. Promise me, you’ll still be here.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

His kiss was long and soft. I took in his scent and immediately thought about having to say goodbye to him for real. I held back the burning in my eyes, so he didn’t see me getting upset again. I needed to be strong. This was a mutual decision. We couldn’t be together until we were both done what we needed to do.

I didn’t have a problem with waiting for Joey, but knowing his track record, and the fact that he said he couldn’t do long-distance, I feared that he’d pick up other women and share his bed with them.

Once he left, I lost it again. After some time, I curiously walked around his apartment and stared out the window. Finally, I got a coffee from across the street and sat outside, listening to the people speaking such a beautiful foreign language.

The stone streets and kind folk were welcoming, but one thing that I couldn’t help notice was the slew of beautiful women everywhere I looked. My stomach was in knots as I watched them smiling and passing by me.

This was where Joey lived, surrounded by these exotic women. By the time he came back to the states he would have bed some of them. It was only a matter of time before he got lonely one night and wanted company. Sure, it would mean nothing to him, but everything to me when, or if I ever found out.

It was making me sick thinking about it. The last thing I wanted to do was share this wonderful man with other women. This was the reason that I’d broken things off with Shayne and now I was going to be in the same situation with Joey.

With two hours left before he got off of work, I found a pen and paper and started writing him a note.

As painfully heart-wrenching as it was, I needed to walk away. There was no way in Hell that I could look him in the eyes and be able to say goodbye to him. I was too in love with him to be able to do that.

My thoughts were jumbled and I didn’t know where or what to say, until the pen hit the paper.

Joey:

Being with you has been some of the happiest, most exciting times of my life. I’ll never forget how you helped through my tough break-up with Shayne. Thank you for letting me know a side of you that no other woman has known. I will never forget that you gave me your heart.

To say that I love you back would be an understatement. When you pop in my mind, my stomach does butterflies and I feel like a giddy teenager, awaiting my first kiss. Our connection has always been mutual, even when I was fighting you off. I think that’s why I fell so hard for you, because I could feel that it was going to be amazing.

You didn’t disappoint. Everything you said was true. You were the best that I’ve had and probably the best I will ever have, but all good things must come to an end.

As much as I don’t want to do it, I have to walk away now, before I fall apart before your eyes. Being with you, here, in this beautiful place, hearing you say those three words back to me, is something I will never forget. Words could never describe how much love I feel for you.

The thing is, I can’t hold on to hope when it comes to us. You said it yourself, that you don’t know how to have a long-distance relationship. I get it, I really do, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I’m leaving today, before you get home, because I can’t say goodbye to you without hurting. I can’t look you in the eyes and tell you that we’re over. It’s not what I want, but what has to happen. Let’s face it, you’re gorgeous and women notice that. I can’t be halfway across the planet from you and not wonder when or if you’re hooking up with someone else. Maybe Shayne is to blame for my trust issues, but I have them now and I can’t help myself.

I hope one day, when you come home, you’ll forgive me and we can be friends. That’s lame and cliché, but it is the truth.

I love you, Joey, with everything in me, I swear I do, but I can’t hold onto hope when I know I will only be disappointed. I can’t ask you to change for me, or be faithful when we’re so far apart.

Thank you, for everything you’ve given me. I will treasure our time together for the rest of my life.

Love, Lacey

By the time I made it down to the street, I couldn’t speak to tell the taxi driver where I needed to go. I had to write it down and hope that he could read English. Thankfully, we arrived at the airport a while later. I struggled with my decision when I got my return flight and then sat around waiting for it come. The whole time, I stared at the doors, hoping he would come rushing through and tell me he was coming home. It was selfish for me to even daydream about. Expecting a man to give up on something he’d worked his whole life to become was ridiculous. I couldn’t take that from him, no matter how much I wanted it. He needed to see it through, so that he could be happy in his future. The last thing I wanted was to be the person that held him back.

Not only did I cry the whole way home, but also when I pulled out my cellphone and wondered who to call. It was nearly seven in the evening and I was a train-wreck. For no reasoning other than being a mess, I called Shayne.

I needed to be able to get home without someone asking me a million questions. I was broken and knew he wouldn’t want details. All I could hope was that he still cared enough to come and get me.

Chapter 27

Shayne

My plans to win Megan over were going great. Instead of waiting for an opportunity to come, I made one, the next day. I’d arranged to meet her in the evening, right after work. She argued with me at first, but I think she knew I wasn’t going to let up on her until she agreed.

I located her car in the parking lot and took the spot next to it. She was playing on her phone and looked over when I pulled in. I knew she wasn’t amused by me, not that I blamed her. The animosity between us was no secret. She didn’t care for me much and I was on some mission to change her mind.

I ran over to her door and opened it, like a gentleman would do.

“Good evening, Megan.”

She stepped out and gave me a weird look. “Hey. Keep in mind this isn’t a date, Shayne. Opening the door for me isn’t necessary. You don’t have to pretend to be someone that you’re not.”

I wasn’t alright with her assuming that I was the world’s biggest douche. Sure, she had good reasons for not liking me, but she refused to give me the benefit of the doubt, about anything.