Replace Me (Kin #2)(59)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I don’t know if I’d made her feel uncomfortable, but for the rest of the ride Megan talked about other things. We discussed her job and the twins. I didn’t get into details about who the real father was. It was irrelevant to our friendship anyway.

After the long ride, we decided to grab some fast food and call it a night. We sat in Megan’s car eating. “I’m sorry our dinner got ruined. I swear I wanted something other than a drive-thru.”

Megan laughed. “I think I got to know you more this way. It certainly showed me that you care deeply about your friends. Look at the way you take care of your pregnant friend. It’s insane that you would put yourself out there like that. I was wrong about the person you are. I mean, I’m not saying that I want to sleep with you, but I think we could be friends.”

She held out her hand and I shook it. “Deal.”

We both laughed. Then Megan did something that shocked me. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

Instead of pushing my luck, I simply smiled and got out of the car.

On the drive back to my apartment, I tried to call Lacey, but she didn’t answer. It was late and I knew she probably wanted to be alone. I just wanted her to know I was there if she needed me, as a friend of course.

When I walked in the door, I found Ashley asleep on the couch. She had a bag of chips in one hand, the remote stuck in her cle**age, and a jar of pickles in the other hand. I snapped a quick picture from my phone before cleaning up and carrying her to her bed. Halfway there, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. Her eyes were still closed and I didn’t think she even knew what she was doing. She mumbled something as I put her on the bed and rolled over, as if it had never happened.

I watched her sleeping for a minute, taking in her growing belly. It wouldn’t be long before the twins were here. I still had a bunch to do to prepare, as well as have a heart to heart with my brother regarding plans. I needed to know how long he expected me to play daddy. The more time I spent with Ashley, the more attached I was to the twins. They weren’t even here yet and I already loved them. Feeling them moving did me in. I was starting to wonder if making this decision was going to end up ripping out my heart. It was important to talk to Parker, before I let that happen.

Lacey

I was under the assumption that when I got to my own bed, in my home, I’d feel safe enough to get some rest. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I spent countless hours tossing and turning, thinking about the man that I’d left behind.

Out of habit and curiosity, I checked my social media pages.

Joey had messaged me and I was petrified to open them.

I stared at the notification for a while, before I could bring myself to do it. My hands were shaking and I imagined the worst. I scrolled down to the oldest one and started from there.

Lacey, I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Did you come here to rip out my heart one more time, because that’s what you’ve done? I brought you flowers and whistled my whole way back to work, in which I got off an hour early. I was more than excited to know you were waiting for me. You can imagine the pain I felt when you weren’t there and had left that note.

I don’t care what I said the other night. Given the chance, I would have talked you out of your decision. I sure as Hell didn’t tell you I loved you so that you could leave me.

This sucks. I’m guessing you’re still on a plane heading home. In that case, just know that spending even one extra day with you was worth so much to me. No matter where you are, or who you end up with, just know that you’re the first woman I ever loved. I’ll never forget the way your body felt in my arms, or the way you looked when you were lying naked in my bed.

Love, Joey

My eyes were so blurry that his last sentence was difficult to read. I wanted to continue, but needed to gain some composure before I had a nervous breakdown and had to be committed. My mind was thinking irrational things and all I wanted to do was disappear so that I wouldn’t have to hurt the way I was.

Once I grabbed some tissues out of the bathroom, I was able to bring up the second message.

Why can’t you talk to me? I’m hurting too, you know. Don’t you get it? I was just getting used to moving forward. I’d focused on my job and tried to forget about how much I missed you and then you come walking through my door. You gave me f**king hope and then you took it away. I , at least, deserve an explanation, other than this f**king note. We’re not kids, Lacey. You’re being ridiculous. None of this makes sense to me. Why leave if you were happy? Why rip out my heart on purpose. Did I hurt you? Did I do something that I’m unaware of?

Just talk to me.

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to hear him telling me he loved me and that we would find a way to be together, but it wasn’t going to happen that way. The inevitable had already occurred. Joey and I had missed our opportunity to work things out. Our lives were in two different places and there was no logical solution to that problem. We were doomed, probably from the beginning. I should have taken my best friend’s advice and stayed away from him.

I stared at the blank screen, thinking of what I could possibly say to him.

Only two words came to mind, so I typed them and hit send.

I’M SORRY.

The next few days were a blur and I refused to look at any of my new messages, on account of them being from him. I even avoided talking to Sky and Shayne. I knew that they didn’t deserve the silent treatment, but I had nothing positive to say and explaining myself would only make my wounds worse. In order for me to heal I needed to block out the world and give myself time.

There wasn’t a single second that went by that I didn’t think about Joey. He consumed me in one way or another and the ache for him grew. It was when I truly realized the difference between puppy and adult love. The more I thought about it, the more I understood that Shayne had always been my past. He was someone I imagined being with, but never really had completely.

Joey was the opposite. He was someone that I never imagined being with, but didn’t want to ever let go of. I could close my eyes and picture us in the future. I could see us settled down together and him coming home to me every night.

For the most part, I chalked my irrational thoughts up to being desperate. A part of me refused to let go of my feelings. It was useless to think that one day I was just going to wake up and have forgotten about our connection. Each time we separated, I found myself needing him more.

One day, more than a week later, while I was in class, I got a text message from a weird number. The vibration caused me to jump out of my seat, so I checked it immediately.