Risking Fate (Mitchell Family #4)(57)
Author: Jennifer Foor

She went to walk away, but I grabbed her by the arm.”Wait! Please don’t leave. I don’t know if I can look at her. What if she’s….?” I couldn’t say it.

The window was covered by a mini-blind. The nurse walked over and started opening it. “I can hear the beeping of her heart on the monitor. Your wife is a fighter. She’s been in surgery for over two hours and she is still with us.” Before I looked up, I took a few deep breaths. “This room is for cesareans. Families can watch from a distance and not interfere with the surgery. Most of what they are doing isn’t in view from this window, but at least you can see her.”

When I opened my eyes, I saw the medical team surrounding the table where my wife lay. Wires were hooked to her arms and I could see a bag of blood hanging that was being forced into Miranda through an IV. Behind that was a monitor showing her heart rate. I placed my hand on the glass and took my actual first look at my wife.

She was alive.

I knew she wasn’t out of the woods, but the fact that I could see her breathing, helped me so much. For the past few hours, I did nothing but think she was gone. I rested my head on the glass and let out my first breath of relief. “I’m here, Baby.” I closed my eyes and imagined being in there holding her hand. It didn’t matter that a nurse was standing behind me. I didn’t care about anything, but my wife.

Then it all hit me like a ton of f**king bricks.

She was in here because of me.

She was hanging on by a thread to life because of me.

I did this.

My actions caused this.

I would never be able to forgive myself for causing this to her.

I had to open my eyes when I could hear a commotion coming from the operating room. A nurse was running toward Miranda with some big machine and I noticed the constant sound instead of a beeping. My heart dropped when I realized what was happening. “No!” I screamed. A heavyset nurse noticed me watching and walked toward the window. I figured she was going to point at me, but instead she lowered a separate mini-blind on her side of the glass. I smacked on the window one time and sank to the floor. I could hear them clear enough to know that Miranda’s heart had stopped.

A female voice yelled ‘clear’ and the beeping immediately started back up. I stood quickly hoping they would re-open the blinds, but nothing happened. I just stood there staring at the blinds, not knowing what the f**k was happening in the next room.

I needed her to fight. Our children needed her to make it through this. She had to live. She had to be okay.

The nurse came back into the room, followed by a man. I uncovered my hands from my face and looked at both of them with tears already in my eyes.

No! It can’t be. I can hear the monitor. Do not be in here to tell me you lost her.

“Mr. Mitchell, I’m Dr. Patel. I’m sorry we are meeting for such circumstances. Perhaps you would like to sit so we can talk about your wife’s situation.” He motioned for me to sit in a chair at the far side of the little room.

I sat down and stared at the window, even though I couldn’t see through it. “I’m listening.”

“I know the nurses have briefed you on your wife’s condition, but I’m not sure that you understand the severity of it. You see, Mrs. Mitchell’s accident caused her uterus to tear. This is a rare condition that usually results in some sort of trauma to the pregnant mother. Now in most cases, the mother and sometimes the fetus do not make it. In more common cases, the mother can be saved while the baby is stillborn.”

I finally looked at the doctor, unable to take his serious tone, without giving him my undivided attention. “They told me my boys were fine.”

He nodded. “It’s a miracle in itself for us to not only save one, but both of them. You see, while we were delivering your sons, both of their lungs filled with your wife’s blood. We were able to get them both breathing on their own with little effort and you should never worry about them having any long-term problems. Their lungs are functioning properly and in other cases, the children had never had a single problem with their lungs. The nurses have informed me that both boys are very healthy and are fully developed. Considering they were premature, it is good to hear.”

I held my hand up. “I love my children, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I need you to tell me about my wife right now. I can’t talk about the kids until I know about their mother. You beating around the bush right now is making me think the worst. If she’s gone, I deserve to know.” I buried my face into my hands. “She’s gone isn’t she?”

The room fell silent for what seemed like a whole minute. I wanted to vomit, to scream, to bust my body through the wall to get to her, but I felt a hand on my knee and slowly looked up. “She’s stable. She isn’t out of the woods, but your wife is alive. She is a fighter.”

I stood up and started pacing. “I need to see her. She needs to know I’m here.”

He held up his finger. “We need to wait a while for that. She is going to be transferred to the intensive care unit, the ICU, where she will have a nurse at her side for the next twenty-four hours. Visitors will be limited to immediate family and no children are permitted.”

“Is she going to make it?” Say she is.

“Only time will tell, but we will do everything we can to see that she does.” The doctor seemed to be optimistic, which still didn’t sit right with me. I needed to touch her. I needed to see her for myself.

“Look Doc, I appreciate everything you are doing, but I need to see my wife. I won’t tell anyone, I won’t even touch her, but please let me see her. I just need five minutes. Please.” If you don’t let me see her, I am going to beat down every door until I find her myself.

He looked at the nurse and whispered in her ear, while I stood there waiting for his response. “Let us get her moved and monitor her for an hour. We can get you in to see her, but everyone else will have to wait until she gets out of the ICU.”

“Whatever it takes. I will do whatever I have to do.”

“Go back and be with your children. We will come get you as soon as we can get you in there.”

The doctor started to walk away. “Wait! Please promise me that the next time we talk it will be for me to see my wife and not for you to tell me she’s gone. I need to hear it.”

He reached out his hand for me to shake. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you see your wife as soon as possible.”