Risking Fate (Mitchell Family #4)(59)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Because of the medication, I can’t give her a drink yet, but I can offer her some ice chips to chew on. I’ll be right back.”

I watched her walk away and then turned my attention to Ty. My voice was an air-filled whisper, so he got up close to my face when I spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby, try not to talk.” He wiped the hair from my face and kissed my cheek. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

It wasn’t okay. It was never going to be okay. Our boys were gone because of my accident. I’d taken his sons from him. No matter what happened between us, we could never get past this. Even if I forgave him for Heather, he would never forgive me.

“Please don’t hate me.” I was too weak to cry, but inside I was being torn apart. He had to know the truth by now. How could he be sitting here with me knowing what had happened.

He stroked my cheek and ran his fingers over my lips. “Shhh, I could never hate you. Even if you hate me.”

I reached for his face and stroked my hand over his stubble-filled cheeks. “I don’t hate you.” It hurt my throat to talk. I could feel it sticking together inside.

“I don’t blame you if you do. I deserve it.” He shook his head and looked down at the floor. “If I could take it back I would. Nothing means anything without you in my life, Miranda.”

“You don’t have to be nice to me after what happened, Ty. It’s okay if you can’t forgive me. I can’t forgive myself.” I started to really cry, even without the tears. My throat continued to stick together, pinching me from the insides.

“Miranda, you got into an accident. It wasn’t your fault. Everything is going to be okay. I thought I’d lost you forever. You have no idea how bad it was. They had to bring you back once. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced.” I could tell from his voice that he was truthfully scared.

“But the babies. It’s all my fault. How can you even look at me? How could you ever love me?”

Ty froze and I truly believed he didn’t know what happened to our boys. Had nobody told him? “Baby, what are you talking about? The boys are small, but they are both fine. Iz and I held them several times.”

They’re alive? “But, I saw them, Ty. I saw them covered in my blood. They weren’t breathing.” I hadn’t noticed until Ty shushed me, that I was starting to hyperventilate. The nurse, who was already heading in my direction with my promised cup of ice chips, rushed to my side.

“Calm down, Mrs. Mitchell. You can’t get yourself upset. We need to keep you as comfortable as possible.”

I ignored the stupid nurse and looked at my husband. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled to his pictures. “The one on the right is Jax and Jake is on the left. Izzy made the decision about who was who. She’s pretty concerned we are going to get them mixed up on account of them looking so much alike, even though Jake has a couple more ounces on his brother.”

I heard everything he said, but for some reason, I needed him to tell me again. “I don’t understand.”

“Miranda, Baby, you had a placental abruption. You were bleeding internally. I don’t know how much you saw, but they were able to get the blood out of our boy’s lungs in time to save them. I promise you that they are fine, in fact, your mother is with them right now.”

“My mother? How long have I been out of it?” It wasn’t like the room had windows.

“About twenty-four hours. I’m not really sure exactly. You’ve been in this place for almost twenty hours. Nobody has been able to see you except me and your mother. Everyone else has to wait until you go into a stable condition.”

“Stable? My God, Ty, how bad is it?”

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned in close to me. I felt his fingers touching my face and I closed my eyes, appreciating his touch so much. “For a while, we were just playing it by ear. They never did figure out exactly where the bleeding was coming from. You’ve had seven separate units of blood transfused. We just didn’t know what would happen. They were concerned about kidney failure for a while. They come and prick you every hour and check your vitals. Your breathing has gotten better throughout the day, but until you said my name, I didn’t know if I’d ever see those pretty eyes again. You scared the shit out of us.”

I intertwined my hand with Ty’s. “I need to see our boys.”

“I know you do. You have to get better first, Baby. Right now you have sixty staples from hip to hip.”

Holy shit is that why I feel so tight?

An itch that I hadn’t noticed before overwhelmed me. I began taking my nails and digging them into my arms. The nurse looked at what I was doing and handed Ty the cup of ice. “The itching is from the morphine. It’s one of the side effects. I know it is unbearable, but try as best as you can to avoid scratching. I will find some lotion your husband can put on you where it is itching.”

As soon as she walked away, I turned to Ty. He was looking in the cup and pulling out a small piece of ice to stick in my mouth. The way he was being so attentive to me was the Ty I knew and loved. The way he cared about me radiated through him. No matter what happened to bring us to this particular moment, I couldn’t imagine him not being there.

I couldn’t think about that situation, because my only focus needed to be on getting better so that I could see my babies. Bella must have been so frightened, even with my mother and Ty to keep her calm. How he kept a straight face around her was beyond my reach. That little girl was his kryptonite and I couldn’t see him holding it together for very long.

My mother must have been freaking out by now. I can’t imagine her getting that call. As Ty fed me another chip, it all hit me. “Oh my God, did you have to call and tell them?”

“You mean your mother? Well, of course I did. Actually, I called Colt, because calling your mother would have been too hard. None of this was very easy for me. In fact, at first, I didn’t know you made it. They wouldn’t tell me anything. They just kept taking me to the boys instead. I begged and pleaded and finally they let me see you while you were in surgery.”

I cut him off. “In the window?”

“You saw me? When I looked at you, you were so lifeless. You looked so horrible and they wouldn’t let me in there with you. I swear I tried, Miranda. I would have done anything to get in that room with you. I was so afraid. I can’t live without you, Baby, not even for a second. You mean everything to me.”