Risking Fate (Mitchell Family #4)(61)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I’d dosed off a couple times in between my emotional moments where I couldn’t hold in the tears any longer. Since the family had come, they had Izzy and were visiting the twins more so that I could be with Miranda. It was hard to choose between my kids and their mother, but I knew they were okay and Miranda wasn’t.

I was praying to God when I heard Miranda say my name. I wanted him to take me instead of her. The kids needed their mother. I couldn’t lose her and be strong enough to be good to them. The pain would overwhelm me, I just knew it.

As soon as I heard Miranda’s beautiful voice, I felt like I could breathe again. I knew she had been through Hell, but the idea of losing her was the worst pain I’d ever experienced. Her voice was like a beautiful song filling my ears. It was raspy and I could tell she was in pain, but she was awake.

I don’t even remember getting up and rushing to her side, but suddenly I was there, kissing her and looking into those beautiful crystal blue eyes. She looked so bad. Her hands and feet were swollen and her normal skin color had a white hue. It wasn’t just that she was pale; she was so white that she looked like a ghost. Giant circles set under her eyes and her lips were hard and cracked. Aside from all of that she had a tube in her nose, giving her oxygen and IV’s attached to one of her hands feeding her more blood.

I’d been so excited about her coming back to me that I’d almost forgot about what got her there in the first place. Of course, it only took us a short while to bring it up. I hated myself and blamed my own actions for putting her in the hospital. She needed to hear my side of the story. I had to tell her that I would never do those things with Heather voluntarily. I hated that bitch so much, for what she’d done to my family.

When Miranda asked me to wait to talk about it, I had to respect her request. It killed me sitting there in front of her having her think the worst of me. I don’t know why I’d assumed she would ever be able to trust me, but hearing Van say she did, gave me hope. At any rate, Miranda said she was coming home to me. She wanted to raise our kids together. It might not have been the perfect result I was hoping for, but I would take it. She would be with me, in our home, where she belonged.

My heart had never strayed from my wife, not for one single second.

After a short nap, Miranda finally woke up again. I was afraid to talk to her, on account of what we talked about before she stopped talking to me. “Hey.”

I hesitated, but then rushed to her side. “You okay, Baby?”

“I’m in more pain than before. How long did I sleep?”

I kissed her hands and traced her wedding ring. It made me happy that they never removed it, although it was pretty tight around her fingers from them being swollen. I’d hate for them to have cut it off. “I guess about an hour.”

She brought her hand up to my face. “Did you sleep?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t sleep, not with everything the way it was. My twins were going to be okay but Miranda was still in danger. There was no way in Hell I was going to rest until I knew she was out of the woods.

“Why don’t you go rest? I’m sure my mother would like to know that I’m awake.”

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Ty,” She grabbed my head and held it against her face. “I promise you that I’m not going to die.”

I hated hearing her say it like that. “Don’t even say that word. I can’t hear it anymore. You don’t understand how I felt when I thought you were gone. I’m sorry, Miranda, but I can’t sleep. I can’t eat and I don’t want to spend a second away from you. I can’t lose you. I can’t ever lose you.”

I’ve lost my balls and all of my dignity. I’m a damn crybaby.

“I told you that I’m coming home with you, Ty. I’m not going to take the kids from you. I couldn’t do that.”

I shook my head before resting it back against hers. “You don’t understand.”

Her hand reached for mine and I squeezed it. “I do understand. It’s going to take time, Ty. I still love you, but you ripped my heart out. I hurt so much right now, physically and emotionally. I can’t just forgive and forget. I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”

“The damage is done, so I guess I have to take what I can get. I mean, I don’t want to live one second without you. This just isn’t how I wanted our life to be. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

I closed my eyes and whispered into her ear as I let my lips drag over her skin. “Promise me you will try to forgive me, no matter how long it takes.”

When she nodded, I grabbed both sides of her face and pressed my lips against hers. Yeah, they were crusty and probably hurt her, but I needed to feel them. I expected her to pull away, but she let me keep them there. As I stood up, I turned around and continued to hold her hand. “I’ll never stop trying.”

She smiled. “Promise?”

“I promise.” I kissed her hand before walking out the door so that she could see her mother. For right now, Miranda still loved me. I was paying the ultimate price for my actions, even if they were forced on me without my say. I wasn’t about to lose my wife, no matter what I had to do, or how long it took me to prove it.

I found Van in the NICU. She’d told the nurse she was Miranda’s sister instead of cousin. Since my boys were still the only ones there, they seemed to be a bit more lenient about visitors. She was holding Jax when she saw me walking in. “Hey, is everything okay?”

I got a big smile on my face, unable to contain my happiness. “She’s awake, Van. She woke up about an hour ago.”

“Oh my God, we have to call her mother?” She handed me my son and pulled out her cell phone. “I’ll be right back.”

I looked down at Jax’s sleeping little body. He was so much tinier than any baby I had ever held, but that didn’t make him any less cute. In fact, he and his brother were both adorable. I couldn’t tell who they looked like yet, but they definitely had my dark hair. I pulled off his cap to run my fingers through his little fuzzy head. I couldn’t believe they were mine.

Since I had to take turns with Miranda’s mother, I spent half of my time with my boys. I had changed their diapers and helped the nurse sponge both of them off. Jake peed on me during my first diaper change and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. The nurses had all laughed and said it was normal, but I’d never had that happen with Izzy.