Safe with Me

“I think…” Caleb begins but I cut him off.

“I don’t want to be at your house, Caleb. We’ll go to the hotel.”

His blue eyes harden, but I look away and swallow as Matt watches us both closely.

“I’ll take them,” Caleb murmurs softly.

“I…”

“I’ll take you,” he repeats, his voice hard and leaving no room for argument.

I turn away without responding and kiss the girls. “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m just going upstairs to pack our bags. You stay here with Bix and Matt and Caleb.”

They nod sleepily as I turn to Matt. “Make sure the hotel takes dogs. He goes where we go from now on.”

Matt smiles and nods. “Good girl.”

Once our bags are packed, Caleb loads us into his car. Matt has offered to stay behind and oversee the cleanup and make sure the window is boarded up.

“Bryn…” Caleb begins but I sigh and cut him off.

“You’ve already said all you need to say, Caleb. We’ll be fine.”

Although I don’t know if we’ll be fine. I don’t know that we’re out of danger. Who was that guy that broke in and tried to hurt us?

The check-in process is blurry and I feel like my feet are filled with led as Caleb leads us to our room. He’s carrying both girls, and I’m pulling our one suitcase behind me. Bix is at my side, even without a leash.

I think I forgot the leash.

The room has one giant king sized bed, but I requested that. I want my girls with me tonight.

Caleb tucks the kids in the large bed and motions for Bix to join them. I pull my own pajamas out of my suitcase and move into the bathroom to change.

“You don’t have to do that on my account,” he whispers.

“You never get to see me naked again,” I reply, noticing the way his jaw tightens and his eyes harden at my words. I can hear the sadness in my voice and I don’t have the energy to try to be brave.

He’s leaving us.

When I return to the room, I join the girls in the bed. Josie has begun crying again, and is clinging to Caleb.

“Where is the bad man now?” She cries softly.

“He’s gone, sweetheart,” Caleb croons to her. “He can’t hurt you.”

But he hurt you. I glance at his arm and frantically temper down the need to crawl to him and kiss his wound, to fuss over him and make sure he’s okay.

He doesn’t want me.

Finally Josie’s cries disappear and Caleb lowers her back into the bed. He’s stretched out on his side, on the other side of the girls, watching them sleep. Bix is curled up at their feet, and I’m lying opposite to Caleb, also on my side, but I’m watching him.

Memorizing every line of his body, every hair on his head.

Finally, he brushes their hair back and leans in to lay a soft kiss on each of their foreheads. He lifts his gaze to mine, and in his bright blue eyes is sadness and regret. He reaches across the girls and cups my cheek in his hand, wipes a tear with his thumb and takes in every inch of my face with his eyes. He sighs deeply and releases me, rolls away from the girls and stands, turns off the light and walks to the door.

As he pulls it open, he looks back at me and whispers, “I’m sorry, Legs,” just before he walks out and quietly pulls the door closed behind him.

For several long seconds I stare unseeing where Caleb left, then I roll away from my babies and bury my face in the pillow, letting my tears and grief flow out of me in violent sobs.

Caleb is gone.

Chapter Nineteen

Three months later.

~Caleb~

“Your usual?”

I nod at the redheaded bartender and keep my head down, staring at the scarred bar top in front of me.

“Isn’t your contract up?” She asks me as she reaches for a tumbler and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“How do you know that?” I ask and slam back the amber liquid and push it forward in a silent request for more.

“I’ve been tending this bar for more than fifteen years,” she informs me and pours me another. “I know the comings and goings of the military guys on this base. And I can tell by looking at you that you’re not active duty anymore.”

I glare at her and take a sip of the Jack, not confirming or denying her assumption.

“So why are you here and not back home fighting for your girl?” She asks with a sympathetic smile.

Fuck off and let me drink.

“You don’t know anything about it,” I growl and slam my drink.

“I know plenty.” She grabs a white bar towel and wipes off the bar, clearly not ready to leave me in peace. “I know you’ve been coming here three nights a week like clock work for the past three months. You drink whiskey until you stagger out of here and walk back wherever you came from. You’re drinking to forget something, and my bet is it’s a woman.”

“Maybe it’s a man,” I smirk.

“Nah, I’ve seen you check out some of the SEAL bunnies’ asses, but if they approach you, you growl and scare them away.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with looking,” I sulk. I just want to drink until I’m so drunk that it dulls the mile-wide ache in my chest and I forget the look in Brynna’s face as I walked out of her hotel room three months ago.

“No,” she agrees and shakes her head thoughtfully. “But you look guilty as hell after you do.”

“What do you want?” I ask and push my empty glass forward for another.

“Just thought I’d talk to you is all,” she replies with a smile. “You don’t scare me with that glare, by the way. Been married to a SEAL for ten years, and his glare doesn’t scare me either.”

“Congratulations,” I mutter and swig my whiskey.

“Oh, it hasn’t been a walk through the park, trust me. The fool actually left me for a while. Claimed he didn’t deserve me.” She shrugs and chuckles as I whip my head up and stare at her with narrowed eyes.

“What did you say?” I ask.

“Said he didn’t deserve me,” she repeats and watches me for several seconds. “Ah, there it is.” She shakes her head again and rolls her eyes. “So, when they’re teaching you guys to bench press a pine tree and hold your breath for forty-five minutes…”

“Four minutes,” I correct her with a growl.

“Do you they also teach you to be stubborn asses?”

“They taught me to ignore nosy fucking bartenders,” I reply and pop a pretzel in my mouth.