Searching for Someday (Searching For #1)(28)
Author: Jennifer Probst

To surrender.

Kate shivered. “What are you doing here?”

“It was a test, wasn’t it?”

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. The knowledge she’d run out of options squeezed her like an insect wrapped tight in the silky rope of a spider’s web. Kate lifted her chin.

“Yes.”

He growled and took a step forward.

One sharp bark jerked her head around. Robert paused in the doorway of the bedroom, watching the scene. He dragged his body down the hall at rapid speed, placing himself in front of her like he was a fully trained guard dog ready to take down an assailant. Love and pride surged for the unbreakable bond of his protection. Kate opened her mouth to calm him, but Slade had already moved.

With a humble grace that left her speechless, Slade knelt before Robert in supplication. He offered his hands slowly out in the universal gesture of surrender. “Thank you for taking care of her,” he said gently. “But I would never hurt her. I swear to you on all I hold dear in this lifetime, I will never hurt your mistress.”

She held her breath as he leaned forward until he was nose to nose with the pit bull. Moments passed. A look of shared understanding and something deeper passed between them. Slowly, Robert relaxed his rigid stance, bowed his head, and licked Slade’s palm softly. Then he dragged himself back into the bedroom.

The last of her defenses shattered. Kate stared at the man who had humbled himself before her dog, honoring Robert’s emotions as if he were human. Slade rose to his feet, stripped off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and met her gaze head on.

Raw, hot sexual energy buzzed around them. Her mouth watered at the sight of his half-unbuttoned shirt, the long, tanned column of his neck, and the locked tension of his jaw. His gaze pinned her without mercy, letting her know this was her last chance to run.

“So, you admit you put me to a test.” His words came out lazy, as if he had all the time in the world, but his body tensed like a predator ready to pounce if provoked. “Did you want me to sleep with Elena? Let you off the proverbial hook?”

“No.” She pressed the blanket tighter to her body. “Half of me wanted you to fall for her so I’d be free. I could hate you, remind myself you weren’t meant to be mine. But the thought of you touching her made me crazy.”

He lifted a brow. “A little honesty, Kate? Good. Since this seems like a good night for clichés, let’s put all our cards on the table. I wanted to sleep with her.” He ignored her wince and kept speaking, refusing to let her break the stare. “I was pissed off by your games and ready to end it. I kissed her.”

Hurt lanced deeply, but she struggled to keep her composure. How could she be betrayed when he only did what she wanted? “I understand,” she choked out.

His face tightened. “No, you don’t understand. That’s the problem. I kissed her, tried to work up a physical reaction, and got nothing. I want you. Only you. The real question is, why won’t you admit you want me just as much?”

The looming confrontation crashed over her and left her nowhere to run. Is this the type of woman she’d become? So scared of being hurt or dragged into a situation she couldn’t control, she quaked with fear? Shame made her lift her chin high in the air. He offered one night of pleasure. She tried to mock his offer by stripping it down to just sex, but they’d already shared much more. Secrets, intimacy, honesty. Isn’t that what she was running from? The knowledge that once he pushed deep inside her, he’d be buried in both her body and soul permanently?

Time to put on her big-girl panties and follow Frost’s less-traveled road. “I’m scared.”

He cocked his head. “About?”

She shifted her weight and forced herself to confront the truth. When was the last time a male stripped her bare? Dared to want more than a fleeting physical encounter that barely skimmed the surface, refusing to dive deep enough to feel anything real?

Never.

She waited for guarantees in a world with none. She hid behind her company and put everyone ahead of her, urging them to let go and allow love into their lives. Yet she kept herself isolated and alone, with only Robert for company, on a hypocritical throne above the rest of the world. Dear God, wasn’t it time to let go? Take a chance with no thought to an agenda or plan or list she could calmly check off?

Kate refused to cower beneath the blistering doubt in his gaze. “Because I’ve never felt this way before,” she whispered.

He paused a beat and let her wait in miserable silence. “Better. I swore you’d have to come to me, but I couldn’t wait. I passed your test and now you owe me. What are you going to do about it?”

Her throat closed up in pure nerves, and she clutched the blanket as if the soft yarn could save her. But there was only one thing that could save her at this point. Complete surrender.

The man before her would demand no less. Arilyn’s words drifted past in a gentle reminder.

The only way to true happiness is by letting go of control. The rest is just an illusion.

Kate squeezed her eyes shut and reached for courage.

Then let the blanket drop.

Cool air rushed over her flesh, pebbling her n**ples. She opened her eyes and waited.

He drank her in with a hunger that stripped away all civility and left her raw and vulnerable. His gaze roved over every trembling inch, lingering on the thrust of her br**sts, the drenched core of her sex hidden by a scrap of lace, the length of her bare legs. Kate fought the instinct to cover herself with her hands, knowing he’d never allow her to hide from him again. She straightened to full height, proud in her nak*dness, daring him to take what she finally offered.

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. The air in the room charged and jumped like a live fuse. “If I cross this room, there’s no more running away. I’m going to f**k you until there’s nothing left. I won’t be gentle. Think carefully, Kate. I’m not playing games with you anymore.”

She trembled from the dark threat, but her body begged him for more, to show her everything he had and not hold back. This was what she’d been waiting for—a man to want her with the passion that wasn’t quite civil or proper. His erection pushed against the fabric of his pants, his muscles locked and poised for his leap once she gave him the words.

Her voice shook. “I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t care about the future, or what’s right or wrong. I’m yours, Slade. Tonight, I belong to you.”

He ripped out a curse and crossed the room.

His mouth took hers in a hard, brutal kiss, his tongue pushing between her lips to set the tone of his dominance. She whimpered in sheer pleasure, opening and taking each thrust deep, drunk on his taste and his smell and the blistering heat of his skin.

Slade wasted no time on preliminaries. He reached down and lifted her, and she wrapped her legs tight around his h*ps as he walked toward the bedroom, his mouth never breaking contact. She floated in a crazed sea of sensation, her flesh quivering for more, and he placed her on the bed while his hands ripped the fragile silk from her body.

“I can’t slow down. I had plans to torture you until you begged for me, to make you come a thousand times before I even entered your body. But I need to be inside you. You drive me crazy, Kate. Spread your legs. Let me look at you.”

With a wanton openness she never experienced before, she spread her thighs wide. Her arousal leaked over her thighs, her p**sy splayed open and bare for his hot gaze. Slade ripped off his shirt in record time, visually feasting on her throbbing cl*t as he unbuckled his pants, kicked off his shoes, and removed his briefs. “You’re so gorgeous. I’ve been dying to know your taste, baby. I want to lick you for hours and play with that delicious p**sy. But I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

Kate moaned at his dirty words, her n**ples stabbing for the relief of his tongue and fingers. She writhed on the bed while he ripped open the condom wrapper, slipped it on himself, and climbed on the mattress.

Slade knelt between her legs and ran one finger down her drenched slit. She cried out as her swollen flesh begged for more. With a low growl, he dipped his head and dropped gentle, teasing kisses over her drenched core. The whisper softness of his lips, the hot lash of wet tongue, all swirled together and cranked the tension in her belly so tight she thought she’d shatter with one more touch. Her cl*t hardened and demanded relief, but he ignored it, sliding his tongue over the sides and pulsing his fingers in tiny increments into her channel. She wriggled for freedom, but he kept her held tight, stabbing his tongue around her pulsing clit. Then slipped two fingers deep inside.

She cried out in delicious agony. Breath strangled in her lungs so she was only able to emit tiny pants as those talented fingers rubbed and plunged in a rocking rhythm that drove her right to the edge.

Kate arched, ready to explode, but he gave a sexy laugh and removed his fingers. “Not yet, baby. Not until I’m deep inside you.” He lifted her ankles, placed them on his shoulders, and looked up her body.

Kate shook at the seething, sexual energy crackling between them, soaking into her skin until every pore and cell wept for him to take her. His massive erection poised at her entrance. She fisted her hands in the sheets and wondered if she’d splinter into a thousand pieces once he slid inside.

His eyes blazed. “Give me everything. I won’t settle for anything else.”

She sucked in her breath, suddenly terrified at her vulnerability. What was she doing? Giving her virginity over to a man who believed in nothing but the moment? He’d destroy her, take everything she had, and leave her with nothing. Panic reared. With a cry, she opened her mouth to stop him, but it was too late. He surged inside with one long slide and claimed her.

A sharp pain seized her. She grabbed for breath, dug her nails into his back, and tried to process the swirling sensations ripping her body and mind. Slowly, the burn faded into a sense of overfullness. Her body adjusted, squeezing his cock, her wet channel snugly accepting his length even as her brain fought the final battle. “N-n-no, don’t, I can’t, oh, God, it’s too much.”

His powerful muscles drove her deep into the mattress, and Kate pushed at his shoulders, half aware she didn’t know if she should push him away or pull him closer. His skin was hot and slightly damp. An instinct to surrender to everything he wanted shimmered through her, but she fought the claim, afraid he’d take every piece of her body and mind and soul. “Look at me, baby. Open your eyes.”

Kate half sobbed and obeyed. His warm palms cupped her face, and he held completely still, his c*ck pulsing deep inside until she didn’t know where she ended and he began. A rocket of sensations exploded inside, which her brain desperately tried to make sense of—stretched, achy, wet, hot. As if he realized her barriers, a low growl emanated from his chest.

“No, you will not hide from this. Let go, Kate. No more hiding.”

He rocked his h*ps in a delicious friction that slid over her cl*t and eased himself deeper. His mouth took hers, his tongue diving in with firm strokes, penetrating her in every way until she surrendered to his command.