Second Chance Summer (Chance #1)(37)
Author: Emma Hart

I don’t understand the tears. Wasn’t it only yesterday I was vowing to myself I wouldn’t cry anymore? Yeah, that lasted long… But I can’t control them.

Call the Eagle Inn, he said. He’s barely twenty minutes away from me, and it sets my mind whirring. Do we live that close to each other in New York? I know it’s unlikely given the size of the city, merely a childish hope creeping through, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s offering me everything I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. Answers. The truth – and the whole truth.

Reese pulls up outside Luce’s house and looks over at me. “Come here.” He holds his arms out, and I undo my belt and lean over. His strong arms wrap around my body, tucking my head into his neck as he squeezes me tightly. I breathe in slowly, savoring the moment, savoring the momentary peace I feel with him because I know it isn’t gonna last long.

The front light switches on, lighting up the porch in front of us, and Luce’s mom opens the door. Faintly, I hear her call to Luce, and I sigh. I love Luce more than anything, but even she can’t give me the comfort I feel in Reese’s arms.

But Reese isn’t always going to be there. His arms aren’t always going to be open at the exact second I need them to be, and I don’t expect that. After all, I dealt with it all long enough by myself, and last year…

I shake my head to banish those thoughts and sit up. I slowly rub a hand down my face and let out the breath clawing up my throat.

“Okay?” Reese asks softly.

I nod, even though we both know it’s a lie, because I know I will be in the end. Because, goddammit, I am an independent woman, and as much as I need Reese, I don’t need him to make me okay. He takes away the pain I feel, but to be okay, I need to face up to that pain, which means I need to be alone right now more than I need him. I might be cheating by seeing my best friend, but that’s the beauty of friendship.

Love helps pain, but its friendship that puts it all into perspective, no matter how f**ked up that perspective might be.

Reese leaves me at my best friend’s door with a tender kiss to my forehead. “I’ll call you tomorrow on my break, okay?”

I nod again and squeeze his waist quickly before Leo scoops an arm around my shoulders and whisks me into the house. He dumps me on the sofa next to Luce without any questions.

“Do we need to break someone’s legs?” Liam asks, walking into the room with Lucas on his heels. Luce rolls her eyes, but I crack a small smile.

“No, no leg breaking – or any other bone breaking – needed.”

“Dammit,” Lucas mutters, the three of them filing out of the room with a kiss to the top of my head. Who needs real brothers when I have these three adopted goons?

Their mom whips up a pan of homemade hot chocolate while I change into a pair of Luce’s pajamas and curl back up on the sofa with her. The television flickers soundlessly in the corner of the room, and I curve my fingers around the mug as I recap everything in great detail. I start with Dad’s appearance, skim my weekend with Reese, and finish with the letter. My best friend listens silently, only her eyes giving away how she feels about everything.

The anger at my parents. Relief I was safe with Reese. Disbelief at Dad’s letter.

And then she asks me the million dollar question.

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

I shrug, staring into my mug. “I have no idea. I want to hear him out, but then I ask myself if he really deserves it. And then I remember it wasn’t his fault, that it’s Mom’s fault that he could never contact me, so he does deserve his chance to speak. And then I remember he’s admitted he didn’t do as much as he could to see me, so he doesn’t deserve his chance. And then I don’t know because it’s such a f**ked up situation.”

Luce taps her acrylic nails against her mug, the tapping grating against me slightly. I shoot her a look, and she stops with an apologetic smile.

“I wish I could tell you what to do, Kia. I wish I had the answers for you,” she says sadly.

I give her a small, broken smile. “I wish I had them, too.”

~

One of the best things about mine and Luce’s friendship is the fact we wear the exact same size and have a similar style, so impromptu sleepovers aren’t a problem. That and I feel totally at ease raiding her closet for something to wear.

“So… Reese. And you.” She smacks her lips together, blotting her red lipstick out on a tissue.

Despite myself, a smile creeps onto my face. I glance at her and nod. Luce grins widely.

“I take that to mean you’re finally official?” I nod again, and her grin widens even more.

“He decided it yesterday… After he found out about Jay and the plan for me to move into his place after the summer.”

“Typical males. Always needing to stake their claim.” Luce shakes her head. “So I guess he’ll go with you if you see your Dad?”

I shake my head and pull one of her tees over my head. “No. If I go and see my dad – and that’s one huge damn if – I’ll be going by myself. This is somethin’ I have to do alone. Reese can be there at the end of it to make it better, but he can’t be there to hold my hand the whole way through. Besides…” I shut the closet door. “…I don’t need him to hold my hand. I’m not broken or weak.”

“That’s my girl! I was afraid you were gonna become of those pansies in love.”

“Then you really don’t know me at all.” I grin.

“What are you gonna do today, Miss Independent Woman?”

“I was gonna drop by Patty’s. She said before I needed to find out the truth about my parents, and I’m guessin’ she knew it all along. She might be able to help me figure out what to do. I know it’s my choice and all that, but I just need to talk about it. Get it all out so it makes sense. It’s kinda jumbled in my brain.”

“That’s ‘cause your brain is jumbled, girl,” Luce replies. “And with damn good reason. You go do what you gotta do. You know I’ll be here if you need me.”

I smile at her as I make my way downstairs. Everyone else in her family is at work, and since Patty’s is only minutes away from Luce’s house, I walk toward there.

It’s only early but the temperatures are already rocketing up, and I feel a sheen of sweat coat the back of my neck as I reach the small grocery store. Thankfully it’s quiet, only one or two people in the aisle, and judging by the strained smile on Patty’s face, they’re tourists passing through.