Shame (Ruin #3)(3)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

Sighing, I held up my hand walked over to the table and dug through my purse, pulling out my Taser and my Mace. “Happy?”

“Bad ass.” He nodded in approval. “Your Taser’s pink.”

“I’m a girl.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It seemed… happier.”

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “So the person you Taser laughs instead of pisses his pants? Killer. Good thinking.”

“Gabe.” I shoved everything back into my purse and chewed my lower lip. “I swear, I’m totally and completely fine. Just stressed about starting sophomore year and all.”

His blue eyes narrowed. “When did you cut your hair?”

My hands flew to my cropped black hair; I’d just recently cut it to my chin, hoping it made me look different than the most recent pictures of me. I’d added a few streaks of blue to the front too. Holy crap! I was turning into a freak from witness protection.

“Needed a change,” I lied. “What’s with the fifth degree, Gabe? You used to dye your hair all the time.”

“I was hiding.” He threaded a few pieces of hair through his fingers. “It looks good on you.”

“Thanks.” I felt my face heat. “Now, is there anything else I can do for you, Dad, or am I free to take a shower and run to the student center to grab my textbooks?”

“Classes started last week.” Gabe frowned. “Why the hell are you still not getting your textbooks? If you flunk your classes, I’m going to be pissed.” He started pacing in front of me. “I mean, this is your future and—”

I couldn’t fight the smile as I crossed my arms.

“Shit, I do sound like your dad.”

“Pretty soon you’re going to be waiting on my couch with a shotgun when I go out on dates.” It was out before I could stop it.

“WHAT? You’re dating someone!”

“Whoa!” I held up my hands. “Easy! I’m not dating anyone, and do you really think I’d introduce them to you first? They’d probably pass out!”

“Please, I’m not that intimidating.”

My eyes took in his golden-blond hair, fully tatted-up body, and piercing blue eyes. “Right, not at all. What was I thinking?”

“Bitch.” He winked. “And if you do start dating, make sure you tell Wes so we can get a full background check on him.”

I shook my head. “Letting both of you at the guy would cause him to run in the opposite direction, and I’m pretty sure the point is to have him stick around. That is, if I can find one at this godforsaken school.” The lie fell easy from my lips. I hadn’t had any guy stick around; I wasn’t able to stomach it, not anymore.

“Flash ‘em.” Gabe nodded encouragingly. “It’s the only way.”

“Um, weren’t you just threatening to kill a guy for even dating me?”

“Solid point.” He cursed. “I’m stuck between being your friend and your dad. Not working, not working well, Lisa.” His eyes twinkled. “Now, if there’s anything I can fix, or do, or buy, or—”

“Go home to your wife.” I pushed him toward the door. “Tell Saylor hi, and remember we have dinner this Sunday night, alright?”

He groaned aloud. “Stupid Wes and his benefit dinners.”

“Stupid Wes and his benefit dinners that bring in money for the Pacific Northwest Group Home you own?”

Gabe paused. “Fine, see ya then. Love you.” He turned quickly and kissed my cheek.

I shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Trembling, I walked over to my backpack and dug out my mail. With shaking hands, I ripped open the letter.

Come out, come out, wherever you are! I know your secret, wanna know mine? —Anonymous.

“Stupid bastards.”

I ripped the letter in half and grabbed a granola bar before heading back down to the student center. A shower could wait. I needed my books.

The last time I’d been at the center I’d seen a guy I could have sworn looked like someone from my past.

I hadn’t seen him in a week, so I knew it was my imagination… after all… Taylor? The Taylor I knew was dead.

I would know… after all.

I’d killed him.

CHAPTER TWO

One night I asked her to trip one of the other models then throw food in her face. Mel hesitated, but only for a minute, before not only doing just that, but laughing and posting a picture to Facebook and The Site. When she came back, she asked, “How’d I do?”

I gave her a smug smile and said, “Better, you can do much better.” And then I kissed her. It was a hungry kiss, a possessive one. The demons laughed in my head as she embraced my neck, and I took everything she’d been willing to give. Every. Last. Drop. —The Journal of Taylor B.

Tristan

MY FINGERS DRUMMED along the dashboard of my truck as I waited by the student center for her to walk by. Students milled about, most of them laughing, talking on their cell phones, looking excited about the school year. Campus was extremely busy since classes were about to start. It was probably useless, waiting for her like this. Every time someone walked by, I leaned over my steering wheel to get a better look, only to be left disappointed. Irritated, I shook my head at myself. She had to get books at some point. After I scared her off earlier that week, I’d been monitoring her, asking around about her. The good news? I was university staff, so it didn’t look too creepy. It just sounded that way.

I groaned.

The university had given me a week to get adjusted from the sudden move, meaning, I hadn’t even taught my first class yet. Meaning, I should probably be preparing for class, but I couldn’t, not until I saw her again, not until I knew it was her. Should I be in my truck acting like an insane person? Negative. What I should have been doing was finishing off the syllabus for first semester.

But I’d always been a procrastinator, not that I’d ever tell my students that, especially since they always assumed someone as young as I, who had a doctorate, was crazy-smart and totally by-the-lines.

If they only knew.

I checked my cell. Maybe she wasn’t coming. I’d probably missed her. I rubbed my face with my hands and cursed myself for the fiftieth time that week.

I really should have kept my mouth shut, but instead I’d said her name, scared the ever-loving crap out of her, caused her to nearly fall over, and then run in the other direction.

Honest moment. That was the first time I’d ever had a girl run away from me, and I wasn’t so sure how I felt about it. The least I could do was apologize.