Shopaholic Ties the Knot

I look bewilderedly at Luke, but he’s flipping over the pages, looking as taken aback as me.

“Mother, what’s this?” he says.

“It’s simply a precaution,” says Elinor with a distant smile. “A form of insurance.”

Oh my God. It is. It’s a prenuptial contract.

Feeling slightly sick, I flip through the contract. It’s about ten pages long, with headings like “Property Settlement in the Case of Divorce.”

“Insurance against what, exactly?” Luke’s voice is unreadable.

“Let’s not pretend we’re living in a fairy-tale world,” says Elinor crisply. “We all know what might happen.”

“What’s that, exactly?”

“Don’t be obstructive, Luke. You know perfectly well what I mean. And bearing in mind Rebecca’s… shall we say, history of spending?” She glances meaningfully at my shoes — and with a start of humiliation I realize why she asked me about them.

She wasn’t trying to be nice. She was gathering ammunition to attack me.

Oh, how could I be so stupid? There is no soft center to Elinor. It just doesn’t exist.

“Let me get this straight,” I say, breathing hard. “You think I’m just after Luke for his money.”

“Becky, of course she doesn’t,” exclaims Luke.

“Yes, she does!”

“A prenuptial contract is simply a sensible premarital step.”

“Well, it’s a step I really don’t think we need to take,” says Luke with a little laugh.

“I would beg to differ,” says Elinor. “I’m only trying to protect you. Both of you,” she adds unconvincingly.

“What do you think, I’m going to… divorce Luke and get all his money?”

Just like you did with your husbands, I’m about to add, but stop myself just in time. “You think that’s why I want to marry him?”

“Becky—”

“You may, of course, look the contract over in your own time—”

“I don’t need to look it over.”

“Do I take it you’re refusing to sign?” Elinor gives me a triumphant look as though I’ve confirmed every suspicion she had.

“No!” I say in a trembling voice. “I’m not refusing to sign! I’ll sign whatever you like! I’m not going to have you think I want Luke’s money!” I grab the pen off the table and furiously start scrawling my signature on the first page, so hard I rip the paper.

“Becky, don’t be stupid!” exclaims Luke. “Mother—”

“It’s fine! I’ll sign every single… bloody…”

My face is hot and my eyes a little blurry as I turn the pages, signing again and again without even looking at the text above. Rebecca Bloomwood. Rebecca Bloomwood.

“Well, I’m not signing it,” says Luke. “I never wanted a prenup! And I’m certainly not going to sign something I’ve never seen before in my life.”

“There. Done.” I put down my pen and pick up my bag. “I think I’ll go now. Bye, Elinor.”

“Becky—” says Luke. “Mother, what on earth possessed you to do this?”

As I head out of Elinor’s apartment my head is still pounding. I wait for the lift for a few seconds — but when it doesn’t come, head for the stairs instead. I feel shaky with fury, with mortification. She thinks I’m a gold digger.

Is that what everyone thinks?

“Becky!” Luke is coming down the stairs after me, three at a time. “Becky, wait. I’m so sorry. I had no idea…” As we reach the ground floor he envelops me in his arms and I stand there rigidly.

“Believe me. That was as much of a shock for me as it was for you.”

“Well… you know… I think you should sign it,” I say, staring at the floor. “You should protect yourself. It’s only sensible.”

“Becky. This is me. This is us.” Gently he lifts my chin until I haven’t got anywhere to look except into his dark eyes. “I know you’re angry. Of course you are. But you have to excuse my mother. She’s lived in America a long time. Prenups are standard issue here. She didn’t mean—”

“She did,” I say, feeling a fresh surge of humiliation. “That’s exactly what she meant. She thinks I’ve got some plan to… to take all your money and spend the whole lot on shoes!”

“That’s not your plan?” Luke feigns shock. “You’re telling me this now? Well, if you’re going to change the ground rules, perhaps we should have a prenup—”