Solitary Man(2)
Author: Carly Phillips

All the facts he knew about Nicole told him he wouldn’t find Tony’s sister working in a place like this. Last time he’d seen her she’d been one semester short of her teaching degree, not drink- serving 101.

He glanced at her look-alike. If his eyes had to play tricks on him at least he had a hell of a view. He downed the last of his soda and gestured for another, never taking his eyes from the long legs that sparked his memory. Of him helping Nikki lift her flowing skirt around her waist, of pushing aside the soft fabric and burying himself inside her warmth. Nikki had wrapped those legs around his waist many times that night. She might have been innocent when they started, but not when dawn finally broke and the night came to an end. She’d been eager, willing and he hadn’t thought to stop. He hadn’t thought beyond the driving need to block out the numbing grief and guilt over his role in his partner’s death.

For a few hours, she’d done the impossible. She’d allowed him to forget. Even now his body reacted to the thought of Nikki as if she were standing before him. As if time, circumstance, and his fatal error in judgment had never happened. But it had. Meeting Tony’s widow in this bar was proof of that. What did Janine need to talk about? he wondered.

He heard his name and realized he’d have his answer soon enough. He tore his gaze away from the dark-haired waitress. A last glance at the seductress in the form-fitting top and tight jeans negated any lingering doubts. Tony’s hearth-and-home sister wouldn’t be serving drinks in a downtown bar.

Kevin led Janine to an empty table in the rear. The waitress had disappeared. He kicked back in his seat. He’d stay long enough to hear what she had to say. He’d make sure she was okay and then he’d be on his way. “So…”

“Can I get you folks a drink?”

Kevin couldn’t mistake the husky voice tinged with a trace of midwestern twang and he jerked his head up in response. He raised his gaze to find himself staring into stunned but familiar violet eyes. Eyes that had seen inside his soul, only this time they were outlined in a smoky color that added to her allure. So he hadn’t imagined the resemblance, but that’s all there was.

The cocktail waitress standing before him in the black spandex V-neck top that exposed more than a generous hint of cle**age wasn’t the Nikki he remembered. Her dramatically made-up face wasn’t the only change, but he had to admire the new version.

If the fresh-faced girl from the Midwest had the ability to knock a jaded cop off his feet, what would this sexy siren do if given the chance? He had no desire to find out. But he would indulge his curiosity. Nikki had changed too much in too short a period of time and makeup wasn’t the only visible difference. A weariness etched her delicate features and grief still haunted her eyes. Her emotions were visible for all to see and damned if it didn’t make him want her more. It also made him furious that life could hurt and change her so drastically.

Reminding himself he was a part of that hurt, he decided to tread carefully. He leaned back in his seat, resting an elbow on the cushioned armrest. “Nikki.”

Her eyes had widened in surprise but to her credit, she regained her composure quickly. “Kevin,” she murmured, as softly and as seductively as if she’d just seen him last night and not two long months ago. If not for the way her fingers clutched her round tray, turning her knuckles white, he’d have thought her completely unaffected.

“Beer, right?” she asked.

“Club soda.” She raised an eyebrow. He didn’t explain but he wasn’t surprised she remembered his preference. Though she’d lived on campus, she’d spent weekends with Tony and Janine. When not on duty, Kevin had spent holidays and football season Sundays in their home. The reminder of Tony only sharpened the ever-present pain in his chest.

Nikki turned her now-furious gaze to Janine. “Since it’s Patriot’s Day here in Boston, maybe you’d like one of tonight’s specials. A Benedict Arnold seems just your speed. If it’s not on the menu, I’m sure the bartender would do me a favor and create one just for you.” She treated her sister-in- law to a forced smile. “On the house.”

“Make it a ginger ale,” Janine said without reacting to Nikki’s dig.

“I’ll be back with your drinks.” Nikki turned and walked away.

Kevin forced his gaze off Nikki and the men at the bar who ogled her as she passed. Checking his emotions was difficult, but he pushed his feelings aside before turning back to Janine.

“You ambushed me.” He darted a glance over his shoulder. “And I don’t think she was expecting this visit either.” If he hadn’t thought of Nikki as being hours away, busy finishing school and earning her degree, he’d have realized she was the source of Janine’ s call. She was the sexy waitress and he had been set up.

Janine shrugged, a satisfied smile on her face. “I had no choice.”

“We all have choices, Janine.”

“Exactly.” She folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. “You made yours that night in your apartment”

If he had any doubts about what Janine knew—or didn’t know—about his relationship with Nikki, she’d just put them to rest. He didn’t begrudge Nikki a shoulder to lean on, but he felt as if Tony were here, condemning him through his wife.

“Now, aren’t you in the least bit curious about hers?”

“Should I be?”

She shook her head. “You tell me. The night of the shooting, I remember you telling me that Tony asked you to look out for his family before he died.”

His stomach churned at the reminder of the night he couldn’t put to rest. “He asked that I make sure his family… you and Nikki… were okay. I did that.”

“By taking off? By not checking in, not once for the last two months?”

“You wouldn’t have wanted to hear from me.”

“Not true. Nobody blames you, Kevin. I don’t blame you.”

He slammed his hand down on the table. “I blame me.” If he hadn’t been babysitting Max, Tony wouldn’t have run off alone when he’d gotten the call to head over to a domestic dispute. Tony wouldn’t be dead and he wouldn’t be sitting here with his partner’s widow.

“So that’s how you handle guilt? That’s how you keep a promise?”

“By quitting the force and letting you two get on with your lives,” he explained. “Without any painful reminders.”