Solitary Man(23)
Author: Carly Phillips

He leaned forward and studied her with his intense, dark-eyed gaze. She caught a whiff of his masculine scent and her insides curled with a rush of pleasure. By asking him to stay, she realized she was torturing herself with what she couldn’t have, and yet she wanted nothing more than to wake up with Kevin beside her.

“Mrs. Reid says you’re lonely.”

“It’s a combination of things. Boredom is one of them, but she’s right. I’m lonely. In here.” She tapped on her chest right above her heart. “It’s hard to explain. Maybe some of it’s hormonal, what with the baby and all—but…”

He narrowed his eyes as she spoke, absorbing every word. “Go on.”

“We created this life together. But when I found out I was pregnant I didn’t want to burden you. I planned on doing this on my own, but you pushed and pushed until you became a part of things. And now… here I am. But we’re further apart than ever.”

He let out a groan. “You know what I am, what I’m capable of. Isn’t it better if we just…”

“Shut up and lie down, will you?” She patted the bed beside her. Nikki wasn’t in the mood to hear how they were better off operating separately, how she shouldn’t put her faith in him because he’d let her down. She was tired of the argument, tired of the knowledge, and all she wanted was his shoulder to lean on for just one night.

With an unexpected chuckle, he eased himself beside her. The double bed dipped beneath his weight and the sudden rush of warmth and pleasure blindsided her.

“You’re a bossy female, you know that?” he asked.

“I suppose there are worse things I could be.”

He held out an arm and she curled into him, with an ease and a sense of rightness that shook her very soul. Because she could so easily get used to this. To him.

And he could just as easily take it all away.

* * *

Kevin woke up with Nikki curled in his arms. He didn’t remember falling asleep and he didn’t remember ever sleeping so soundly. Then again he’d never spent the entire night with Nikki.

That first time he’d woken with a jolt, realized what he’d done and bolted like a coward. Well, no more. It was past time he face what he’d done, accept responsibility and go from there. His arms encircled her waist and his palms lay against her stomach. Though still flat, within weeks, a slight bulge would rise. His child.

“Can you feel a difference?” The sleepy murmur caught him off guard.

“Not yet.”

“He’s in there.”

“He?”

She shrugged. “I guess I’ve got a gut feeling.”

A son. “Do you have a preference?” he asked.

“Mmm-hmm. Healthy. You?”

“The same.” He inhaled and caught the scent of her hair.

He didn’t miss the intimacy of the situation, or the fact that each moment like this drew him further from his solitary way of living. Drew him closer to Nikki.

“We created a life,” she murmured.

He remembered the night in vivid detail. His hand molded against her soft flesh and the mood changed from intimate to sexually charged. His fingertips dipped lower and hit a wide band of lace. He paused, and when she didn’t stop him or object, he slipped his fingers lower, beneath the scalloped edging.

Her sharp intake of air gave him pause. But only for an instant. Because she wrapped her hand around his wrist and urged him on. There was a part of him that knew better, and a part of him that responded to her silent plea. Not just his body reacted to the knowledge that she still wanted him. Something inside him that had been cold for so long began to thaw.

She made him feel in so many different ways. He wanted her. On many different levels. It wasn’t because he’d been celibate since Nikki—although he had. And it wasn’t because she was any willing female. She was Nikki and she was special.

She always had been. And now she was carrying his child, he thought almost reverently. The reminder should have made him want to pull back, but the craving for her overruled his brain. And besides, she couldn’t… complete the act, as per doctor’s orders. Just recalling that conversation and her bright red flush made him grin.

“It’s not like you to be a tease,” she whispered.

“Ever hear of building anticipation?” he asked. His fingertips brushed over her heated skin and the sensitive mound beneath.

She sucked in a heavy breath and her hips bucked toward his hand, as if searching for more of his touch.

“Like that, Princess?” he asked, making sure the tip of his finger met with that one sensitive spot.

Her answer was a breathy moan. One that sent him reeling and caused his body to harden in anticipation. Anticipation of nothing, he reminded himself, but certain body parts didn’t seem to care.

Without warning, she turned to face him. Dark strands of hair brushed her cheeks, and her eyes were wide in her makeup-free face. “I think you’re playing with fire.”

He touched her cheek. “Why’s that?”

“For a number of reasons, but let’s start with the fact that we can’t finish this.” Nikki wasn’t about to mention the fact that with a simple touch, not only did he make her burn, but he made her care again. She hadn’t stopped, but at least she’d been able to lie to herself. It wouldn’t be as easy from here on in. “We can’t…”

“Yes, we can.” His intense gaze told her she wasn’t off the hook. “There are many ways to…” He broke off without finishing the sentence.

“Make love, Kevin.” She finished it for him. Otherwise she’d probably have to hear the male version of what they’d been about to do. Sex was as far from what she’d be doing with Kevin as the sun was from the moon. “But don’t worry. You don’t have to say the words since we aren’t about to do anything anyway.”

His face paled. “Why turn this into an argument over semantics?” He reached out to touch her.

It was all she could do not to roll into a protective ball. “Because those semantics mean a lot to me. But that aside, the doctor said there’s to be no penetration or orgasm until further notice.” Though she couldn’t meet his gaze, she forced herself to be as clinical about things as the doctor had been.

It was an uncomfortable and embarrassing topic, but she’d rather discuss what they couldn’t do as opposed to what Kevin didn’t feel. “Semantics,” she mimicked under her breath.