Solitary Man(50)
Author: Carly Phillips

“Is this another ‘I’ll give it my best shot at being a family’?” she asked.

He spread his hands out in front of him. “Think about everything I just said. Does it sound like an I’ll try or I’ve already done it?” he asked. “I didn’t even think of coming to you before I’d taken all the first steps on my own.” And he’d risked losing her in the process.

He heaved a groan. “There’s nothing else I can say. The rest is up to you.”

He wondered if his heart had ever beat so fast or so loud. As he sat waiting, he got an inkling as to what he’d put Nikki through these past months. If, as Janine believed, she loved him.

“The first time I met you I thought I fell in love. At first sight, if you can believe that.” She glanced down as she spoke. “Later, I chalked it up to a crush. I had to, since you never spared me a second glance. Until that night.”

“When everything changed.”

She nodded. “I didn’t come to your apartment for that, but I didn’t wake up with regrets, either. If anything I woke up with a sense of hope despite the fact that I’d just lost my brother. I thought, really believed I had a chance. That we had a chance.”

“And then I took off.”

“And reality set in. It’s taken months, but you finally convinced me—you couldn’t come around, couldn’t be part of a family. And now…” She pounded the grass in frustration. “I can’t read you, I don’t understand you, and I’m afraid if I let myself believe, I’m setting myself up for more pain.”

And that pain was more than evident, in her eyes and in her drawn expression. In the recent past, as recent as yesterday, he’d have agreed with her and walked away. But no more.

He reached for her, grasping her shoulders and turning her to face him. “I can’t do any more than promise, and remind you that the things I’ve said to you today, I’ve never been able to say to you bef—” He didn’t get to finish.

Nikki threw herself into his arms, pushing him backward onto the grass.

“So this means… what exactly?” he asked once he’d caught his breath.

“I love you too. I always have. Those dreams never died; they just got a little tarnished, you know?”

He brushed long strands of hair out of her face. “I thought I drove you away for good.”

“I never went far. Not really. And as for Max, I’m the one who told you we were a family.”

At the mention of his father’s name, he exhaled a long groan. “I nearly went back to his apartment about ten times today.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it was, but you did the right thing. And I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

“I always knew that, in here.” He pointed to his heart. “But in my head, I knew I’d tested you too many times to deserve forgiveness.”

She rested her body on top of his. For the first time in awhile, he felt her heat and her curves flush against him. The swell of her fuller br**sts and the curve of her stomach pressed into him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “You feel good,” he whispered in her ear.

She let out a contented moan. “You feel even better.”

“I can promise you I love you and that I’m here to stay, but I can’t promise I won’t need some guidance on this emotional give-and-take business.”

She brushed a kiss over his lips. “Oh, I think I can guide you. You just need to have an open mind.”

“My mind is open… to lots of things.”

She grinned. “Why don’t you tell me what you have in mind.”

He rolled to his side, taking her with him. “I could spend the rest of the night telling you what I have in mind.”

“What about furniture shopping.”

He held her in his arms, grateful for a second chance. “I think that can wait. After all, neither of us are going anywhere.”

She smiled. “Not for a long, long time.”

EPILOGUE

The now-familiar sound of the baby’s heartbeat sounded in the small examining room. Nikki felt the rush of warmth fill her body and when Kevin squeezed her hand, also her heart

Dr. Molloy moved her instrument over the gel coating her stomach. “Have you two decided on whether you’re ready to know the sex?” she asked.

Nikki’s stomach leapt in anticipation. They’d discussed the possibility last night into the late hours of the morning. Talking and bonding with Kevin had been almost more moving than making love.

Almost. Because nothing could compete with the sensation of joining their bodies together and knowing that bond transcended the physical. And always would.

“We want to know,” Nikki said.

Kevin cleared his throat “Are you sure? Because there’s no going back. Once we know, there’s no surprise.”

“I’m sure. For a number of reasons.” Once they knew the sex, they’d know the name and then the bonding process could begin even stronger pre-birth. “Are you sure?” she asked him.

“Absolutely.” His grip on her hand became stronger.

“Okay then, let’s see if this little guy—or girl—is willing to cooperate.” The doctor moved the instrument around her stomach. “Sometimes they get shy. They lie on their side, or they cross their legs.”

Nikki laughed. “That would figure.”

“A-ha. Here we go.” Her hand movements stilled and both Nikki and Kevin stared at the monitor. “Now remember, this isn’t foolproof.”

“How’s your record running, Doc?” Kevin asked.

“Well I don’t want to brag, but I haven’t been wrong yet.”

He chuckled. “I’ll take those odds. How about you, Princess?”

These days, that name made Nikki feel safe and cherished. “I’m dying here. Would you two stop stalling?”

“Want to take a guess first?” the doctor asked.

“Girl,” Kevin said. “With violet eyes and dark hair.”

“Boy,” Nikki disagreed, recalling how certain she’d been for so long. Then sudden doubt assailed her. “Make that a girl.”

At Kevin’s raised eyebrows and quizzical look, Nikki shrugged. “It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Especially a pregnant woman.”

“Okay, Doc. Let’s hear it.”

“It seems that Kevin’s right.” The doctor moved the instrument in small circles. “And so are you,” she said to Nikki.