Souls Unfractured

My hands shook on the bars of my Harley as I fought not to explode with fucking rage. I pictured Maddie’s green eyes. I pictured her pale skin. Her long black hair. Then all I saw in my head was her covered in blood; held down and hurt. And I could picture her screaming. Could see those green eyes wide, could see those eyes crying as they tied her down. All the people in the church tying her down and causing her pain.

And I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save her. Another one… another one would be taken from me. Because I wasn’t there to protect her.

Clenching my hands on the Harley’s bars, I let a scream tear from my injured throat. And I kept pushing my bike harder until I pulled into the opening roads of downtown. I ran every red light. Cut roads and crossings.

Then two more right turns and the motherfucker came into view.

White.

Grand.

A fucking house of evil disguised as good.

Our Savior’s Church.

And it held my Maddie.

Skidding to a stop out front, I jumped off my bike. As my boots hit asphalt, I fought the pounding in my head at being near this fucking hell. The drugs were still in my blood from the hospital, but I had no choice but to push through.

I looked down at my open palms and my hands shook, my leg muscles seized. And like a fucking pussy, I looked up at the steep white steps and I couldn’t fucking move.

And then, in my mind’s eye, I saw him standing in front of me, ordering me to get closer to the church door. I saw the cold look in his eyes as he stared down at me, his lip curled in disgust.

Sinner. You’re a sinner boy, he hissed, the memory too real, and my heart sank to the ground. You need to purge the flames from your blood. You need to purge the evil from your dark soul.

I gasped for breath, and had to use my bike’s saddle for balance when I thought my legs would give out at the memory. I didn’t want to give in to the memory. I didn’t want to go back there. I didn’t want to see his fucking face in my mind. But what I wanted didn’t mean shit. Because he was always there. He always came for me. He never left me the fuck alone.

The roar of another Harley’s engine sounded behind me and I dropped my raised hands. I knew it was AK and Viking without even looking back. And they’d try to stop me. I knew they would, because they didn’t understand what would happen behind those wooden doors where no one else could see.

Pushing myself to stand, I stared up at the church again. Forcing my legs to move, I walked forward to the bottom of the steep steps. But I couldn’t go any further. I tried to force my feet to move, to make that first fucking step, but they didn’t. They wouldn’t. My pussy ass was too fucking afraid of facing what was behind those doors.

Lowering my head, I hit at my skull with the bottom of my palm. “Move!” I ordered myself. “Fucking move, you pussy!”

Unable to climb the steps, I began to pace the sidewalk. I walked back and forth, back and forth, my head becoming too full. Fucked up images in my mind. Warnings in my brain.

“They’ll hurt Maddie. They’re hurting Maddie,” I told myself. And the flames burned hotter in my veins.

I fought for air as I paced faster and pictured Maddie’s face again.

One way or another, I was getting her the fuck out.

Chapter Two

Maddie

For hours, I had been sitting tucked into the shadows, hidden behind the large white marble statue of Jesus.

I could not take being at the compound any longer, even though it was Lilah and Ky’s wedding day. I could not stand one more second of being trapped in that bedroom, staring out of the window, praying desperately for Flame to step out from the line of trees.

But he never did.

Closing my eyes, I pictured him diving in front of that bullet to save my life. Then all I could see was blood.

Allowing my eyes to reopen, my head fell against the legs of the statue and my hand gripped over the empty ache in my chest. Instantly, my mind filled with him—dark eyes, dark short beard, slightly crooked nose and his huge tattooed body standing protectively under my window, blades in his hands.

I lost focus, staring at the hardwood floor of the church, but I lifted my head when my favorite sound began to play. The strings of a guitar echoed off the high walls. Then the soft keys of the piano joined the magical sound of the hymn that always made me smile. My hands began to slowly relax, and my body began to gently rock in time to the beat.

From where I sat, I could not see the choir, but I could hear them.  It was why I came to Church. It was not for the religion, but for this madrigal music.

“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.