Stranger in Town (Dundee, Idaho #5)(27)
Author: Brenda Novak

“So?”

“You’ll be benched. If you miss too many, you’ll be kicked off the team.”

He rolled over and buried his head beneath the covers. “I don’t care anymore.”

He didn’t care? About football?

She pulled the blanket down to reveal his dark head. “You’ve never complained about practice before. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He scowled, his hair rumpled, his eyelids still heavy with sleep. He yanked at the covers, but she didn’t let go.

“Coach Holbrook said you had a bad day yesterday, but he sounded as though he still has a lot of confidence in you.”

No response.

She remembered their exchange after Gabe left, It’s only a game…Tell Dad that! “Is this really about football? Or does it have something to do with your father?”

Kenny’s scowl deepened. “Dad thinks I have ADHD.”

“He thinks everyone has ADHD, including me.”

“Does he have it? Is that why he’s…the way he is?”

If Russ had ADHD, it wasn’t the worst of his problems. But Hannah tried not to denigrate him in front of the boys. “I’m not familiar enough with ADHD to say,” she said, smoothing the hair out of his eyes.

Kenny was generally a loving person, but he was going through those typical teenage years when displays of affection were considered embarrassing. Knowing the mood he was in, she thought he might become irritated with her for treating him like a little boy. But he didn’t. He seemed to need the gentle caress.

“What’s going on, honey?”

He didn’t answer. He stared toward his window, where the sun glimmered between the slats of the blind. “What was Dad like in high school?”

Hannah remembered the days when she and Marissa had spent so much time getting ready for dances and talking about boys. Russ had been interested in her ever since the eighth grade, but she’d grown up next door to him and had never considered him boyfriend material. Like most girls her age, she’d idolized Gabe Holbrook and Mike Hill’s younger brother, Josh, and even shy, creative Randy Nunez, who’d gone on to become an artist.

But when her mother fell ill, her whole world had changed. She’d gone through her senior year in a daze, stubbornly believing Fiona would survive. Russ’s mother had provided Hannah with a warm kitchen and an occasional home-cooked meal. She sometimes sat with Fiona, so Hannah could take a break and go to a movie. She even volunteered to drive Fiona to Boise for chemotherapy.

Russ’s mother had given Hannah a place to belong, but as the days passed, Hannah soon realized that belonging came at a price. Violet, Patti, the whole family knew how much Russ admired her. They kept pushing them together. Inviting her over and placing her next to Russ at the dinner table. Suggesting a movie, then tossing only one blanket over for her and Russ to share. Sending Russ to help her with the yard work or to spend the night so she wouldn’t have to be alone with her mother in those last weeks. It wasn’t long before Russ was attaching his own price to his friendship and support.

The helplessness Hannah had felt when she was young seemed to suck at her energy like quicksand. She wished she’d known then what she knew now, wished she would’ve been more assertive and taken a different path. After her mother died, she should’ve gone on to college or seen something of the world. But by the time she recovered from the loss, she was already married to Russ. Then she was part of a family again, was creating a family of her own, and divorce was unthinkable.

“He was strong and handsome, just like you,” she said with a smile. “It took me a while to notice him because he’d lived next door all my life and, at some point, I’d quit really looking at him, but—”

“How old were you when you started dating?”

Hannah didn’t remember dating Russ. They did things with his family but rarely ventured out alone. For one, Russ had never had the money. “I guess I was about seventeen.”

“And when did you get married?”

“When I was eighteen.”

“Jeez, that’s only two years older than me!”

She’d been so young…. “That’s true.”

“How did you know you were in love?” he asked.

Where were these questions coming from? Hannah wondered. She studied her son curiously, trying to figure it out. When he turned red, she realized he was probably interested in a girl. “Why? Have you met someone you think is cute?”

His blush deepened, and she knew she’d been right. Kenny was starting to think about girls.

“What’s her name?” she pressed.

“Tiffany Wheeler.”

“The church chorister’s daughter?”

He nodded. “I’m thinking of asking her to Homecoming.”

“That’d be fun.”

“Yeah. I like her, but…I can’t imagine falling in love.”

“That’s good,” she said. “I wouldn’t advise it for several years to come. Give yourself time to get an education.”

“Will you ever get married again?” he asked.

Hannah felt her eyebrows notch up. “Who would you have me marry?”

“That’s a question, not an answer,” he said.

He’d recognized her dodge. He was growing up so quickly. “Maybe.” And maybe—no, definitely—not.

“So you think about it sometimes?”

“Not really.” Not if she could help it. But there were times when she couldn’t.

“It wouldn’t be hard for you to meet someone,” he said. “All my friends think you’re hot.”

She laughed. “I’m flattered, but they’re a little young for me.”

“I don’t want you to be lonely, Mom.”

Hannah was touched by his concern. “You have a kind, generous soul, Kenny. I’m proud of that. But you don’t have to worry about me. I’m too busy to be lonely,” she said, but she knew that, too, was a lie. Sometimes she watched Rebecca with Josh—the way they touched, stood close, looked at each other—and envied them. She was happier without Russ than she was with him, but she still wished she could’ve had a marriage like Josh and Rebecca’s.

“Loneliness doesn’t have anything to do with how busy you are,” Kenny said.

When had her sixteen-year-old become such a sage? “Perhaps.” She rose to her feet. “But we don’t have time to talk about my love life right now. We can discuss this again later, when you’re willing to tell me more about yours.”