Sweet Hope

“Yeah?”

Ally nodded her head, her eyes downcast. She lifted her head and, looking at me, said, “I’ll get another commission after this one is done.”

Realization hit… she’d be leaving Seattle.

“Where will you go?” I asked.

“Wherever I get a job.” I nodded, unable speak, feeling like a thousand daggers were cracking open my chest. I really didn’t want her to leave.

“And you, Axel? Where will you go?”

My back stiffened and I stilled. I hadn’t even given it any thought. I only ever thought of the here and now. That I needed to be in Seattle…

“Don’t know,” I replied.

Ally regarded me. “You won’t go back to Bama?”

I firmly shook my head.

Ally frowned. “Why?”

I glanced away, not wanting to talk about it, but Ally crawled forward and straddled my waist, pushing the hair back from my face with her hands. “Axel, tell me why. For God’s sake, you have to start sharing things with me. Tell me about your life. What’s going on in that complex head of yours?”

Sighing, I lay my hand on Ally’s soft thigh and said, “I’ll be killed.”

Ally’s hand topped stroking my hair and the color drained from her face. “You’ll be…”

“Killed,” I finished for her and sucked in another smoke. Ally watched me. I could see her hand begin to tremble. “Hey,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “Don’t—”

“Who will kill you?” she interrupted. I could see the fear in her face.

I hesitated, not wanting her to be dragged into anything, but she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to mine. “Tell me… share this with me. Don’t deal with it on your own. I’m here… I’m right here... with you… for you.”

My fingers tightened on her thigh and I realized that I finally wanted to tell her what I’d always kept to myself.

“Axel, please,” she begged and, not wanting to be alone no more, I looked her in the eye.

“You know how many years I got, Ally?”

“Ten,” she said.

“But I only served five,” I added.

Ally’s eyebrows pulled down. “I assumed you got out for good behavior.”

“Part of it was,” I said. “I kept my head down, tried to stay out of everyone’s way.”

“Then what else? What else got you out early?”

“I gave up names.”

Ally’s forehead pulled down in confusion. “What names?”

Running my hand down my face, I said, “Drug dealers that supplied to the Heighters. Feds knew I could give them the names and addresses of the big coke hitters and where they kept their stash. I had nothing to lose in giving them up. The feds promised me a half sentence if I did, so I agreed. The suppliers were the ones that gave us the messed up coke that made Porter OD. Those fuckers deserved to go down.”

“And that’s who wants you dead?”

I laughed without humor. “Probably, but that’s not who I know is fucking intent on it. If the feds did their jobs right, the dealers won’t know it was me that gave them up. They’ll be serving life now anyway.”

“Then who…?” Ally trailed off.

“Remo. Gio’s older cousin, the old Heighter leader. He was as close to Gio as Austin and Lev are to me, so he’s pissed. He had to move up state years ago when a beef with the Kings got outta hand. He needed to lay low for a while. That’s where he was when all the shit went down with the Heighter deal and Porter’s overdose. Gio told me I had to get out of town for a while, lay low too. So I went and stayed with Remo. He was real good to me. Helped me hide out undetected. But when Lev called me and said that Mamma had died, Lexi was suffering from anorexia and in hospital, and Austin had been arrested, I knew I had to come home. I should never have fucking run away like a pussy anyhow.

“When I said I was going back home, Remo tried to stop me, he knew Gio needed me to keep the crew strong. I was the main reason most of our rivals left us alone. He knew they’d be vulnerable without me around. So I knocked him the fuck out to get away, came back to Tuscaloosa and handed myself in. I knew Remo would be after me. No one fucked with Remo. Then after I organized for Gio… to be taken down, Remo made sure I got a message inside that if I got out, I was as good as dead. I fucking ruined them all. They’d saved me from my papa, from that shit life, and now Remo was gonna make me pay for fucking everything up.”