Taming Cross

But I can’t seem to follow. “What?”

“…your sister…”

I shut my eyes. I must be really out of it, ’cause I don’t think I have a sister. I focus my eyes on her big ones and swallow past the soreness in my throat so I can croak, “Where’s Meredith?”

“…get…sister, sir. Maybe she can…”

She turns to go, and I bat at my right hand with my left. “Turn this shit down. I can’t…think.”

I guess I pass out, because the next time I wake up, the halo around everything is dimmer and Lizzy is sitting in a chair beside my bed reading a magazine. I’m looking at her impassively, trying to get my brain to start working, when she jumps up and leans over me.

“You’re awake!”

“…No shit.”

Lizzy looks pretty and perky, and for some reason it’s f**king annoying. I scowl at her. Don’t mean to. My mouth just does it, and I’m too tired to think about why I shouldn’t.

“Are you hurting? They’ve been—”

I shake my head, fighting the dizziness that makes the room seem to tilt a little. “I wanna…get out of here.”

Her eyes, on me, are big and concerned. She bites her lip, looking around the room. There’s a flower poster on one wall. “You’re out of ICU and in a floor room now. They don’t want to discharge you until tomorrow at the earliest.”

I shut my eyes and sink back into my pillows. “Fuckin’…stupid.”

I think of Merri—I project her image onto the back of my lids. All I want is to get out of here and see her. Is that too much to ask?

I open my eyes again and unleash the full force of my misery on Lizzy. “The only thing I need from you is to find Meredith.”

Lizzy looks surprised, then sad. She sits back down and scoots her chair closer to me. I wish she would scoot it back.

“Cross, about this Meredith… No one here seems to know who she is or where she is. We’ve looked, I’m sure you can believe that. We can’t find her. And the police are here. They want to talk to you, but so far we’ve been able to keep you covered.” There’s a pause. I slit my eyes open and look at the stupid clouds somebody painted on the ceiling. “In case you can’t tell already, they had to give you narcotics. I know you didn’t want that, but your blood pressure was too high. Apparently they had to stitch your shoulder twice. It was the second time. No offense, but I think whatever they gave you is making you grumpy.”

With some effort, I hold her gaze. “I’m not f**king grumpy.”

“Okay.”

I’m not. I just want Merri. Damnit, I want her so much I can hardly stand it. Where the f**k did she go? I sigh—a little louder than I meant to—and attempt to cover my face with my right hand. A shot of pain reminds me that I can’t. I don’t have a single f**king arm that I can use. I turn my head away from Lizzy and push my cheek into the pillow.

A second later, I hear her voice. “Cross…who is she? Are you really married?”

My eyes are rolling back into my head, but I don’t want to go to sleep. I feel so…out of it. I lift my two-hundred-pound head and make it turn toward Lizzy. “Turn this stuff down, Liz. I don’t want it anymore.”

Instead of an ass, now I sound pathetic. Like I’m about to cry.

“I’ll tell them, C.”

I nod. My head feels hot and full. I need Lizzy to leave, but I’m too tired to tell her.

“Cross, who is Merri? Where did you meet her? …If you’re too tired, we can talk about it later.”

I force my eyes open, though the effort makes me feel like passing out. “…won’t tell?”

She shakes her head. “I promise. No one.”

“Missy King,” I croak.

I feel Lizzy’s warm hand on my forearm. “Cross… Are you telling me you went to Mexico and found Missy King? And brought her back here?”

“Yes.” The word’s a gasp.

“So the wife story is a lie. You’re not married to her.”

I open my eyes. The light above the bed is bright—so bright. I can feel the fluorescent bulbs surging in time with my heartbeat. I look at Lizzy’s face.

“I love her,” I whisper.

Her eyes grow wide and I groan, “Go away.”

When she shuts the door, I let a tear slip out.

Forty-eight hours later, Suri wheels me down to the lobby of the hospital, a brightly colored, sunny place decorated with big sunflower wall art. Hunter West is waiting with a car, while Lizzy takes care of my discharge paperwork. As she pushes me toward the automatic doors, the wheelchair hits a bump and I grunt a little. Suri gasps, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!”

Since what I told Lizzy the day before yesterday, everyone is treating me like glass.

It was bad enough after I woke up from the coma, but this level of awkwardness and eggshell walking is maddening. This time, they don’t just worry about my health. They worry about my sanity. They pity me. It’s almost more than I can take.

The only reason I’m going to Love Inc. is because Lizzy begged me. She insists it’s the most logical thing, to keep me safe from my father until I’m healed. I’m sure it’s just so she and West can watch me, but she was so sincere I couldn’t tell her no.

The automatic doors at the front of the hospital whisk open as we approach, and sunlight shines into my eyes. It’s a hot day, hot and dry, and as soon as I inhale the outside air, I’m wrenched with worry over Merri.

Where is she? Why did she leave? Is she safe?

I guess I know she left because of who I really am, but in the middle of the night, as I lay awake with my shoulder throbbing, or got prodded awake by the f**king overzealous nurses, all I could think about is someone taking her from here while I was out. We’re in El Paso, the cartel’s front yard. What if she needs me?

I will never know.

I have a feeling deep down in my gut that Merri isn’t coming back—and by now, I’ve had enough of these to trust it.

I’m looking at the blue sky when West steps into my line of sight, and I realize—a few seconds behind—that he just got out the side door of a limousine.

He nods at me, and tips his baseball cap. “How ya doing, kid?”

“Better than you, old shit.”

This is our version of getting along.

West walks around to the rear of the limo, and I realize as Suri pushes me back that way that he’s opening the trunk. What the f**k? “There’s a bed in here,” Suri says cheerily. “Lizzy got it for you.”