Taut: The Ford Book

Stacylynn barely acknowledges Ash and if we were together that might piss me off. In fact, it does piss me off. “That part was rather forgettable for me, sorry, Stacy.”

She scowls at me. “All the infant wear is over against the back wall. Let me know if you need help.”

Ash and I walk to the back and she picks up the first one she sees. “This one’s good. Let’s go.”

“What about a hat? And mittens?”

She waves her hand at me and takes the suit up to the counter. I grab a hat and mittens and join her, pay Stacylynn, and then we head back out. Ashleigh slips he baby into the snow suit, which is more like a down-filled cocoon, and pushes the stroller. “So did you live here your whole life? In Vail, I mean? It’s pretty nice.”

“No, I lived in Denver most of the time. I went to school in Denver. But we came here on the weekends, for winter break, and summers. I guess it adds up to about half the year. So it’s home for me.”

“Did you really not remember your tryst with that girl back there?”

I have a photographic memory, I forget nothing. And Stacylynn was what I’d call adventurous. But I know what Ashleigh wants to hear, so I say that instead. “She’s one of many, nothing more. Completely forgettable.”

“Are you gonna forget me?” She keeps walking even though this is a pretty big question. “When we stop hanging out. Will I be just another forgettable girl?”

We walk past a large group of drunk skiers, so I wait until they are behind us before I answer. “I guess that depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not you let me forget you.”

“So it’s up to me to hold your attention? What if I forget you? Will you care?”

Normally I’d never participate in a conversation like this, so the fact that I’m even considering it tells me that no, I won’t forget her. She’s different. She’s nice, for one. She’s calm—mostly. And even though she had me pretty wound up this morning with the crying stuff, she’s not being difficult on purpose. But I’m not gonna give in so easily. “I’ll think about you every time I break out a blizzard blanket, that’s for sure.”

“Oh.”

“Or see a pretty woman breastfeeding,” I add before I can stop myself.

She laughs at that. “Perv.” I know my limits, so I say nothing. “You want to watch me, don’t you?”

I look over at her and I swear, my dick does a little jump at her words. “No.” I think about it for a second. “Maybe a little.” She snickers this time. “OK, I’d like to explore my options.”

She has to bite her lip to hold down the smile, but it leaks out anyway.

We reach the diner and I hold the door open and wait for her to push the stroller in. It’s not crowded since breakfast is over and lunch hasn’t started yet. The hostess bends down to coo at the baby, and then Ashleigh asks if they have a booth that might be more private so she can breastfeed. She shoots me a look and I raise my eyebrows and smile. They don’t, not really, it’s a diner. But the waitress takes us to the back where there are only a few other tables.

The baby’s asleep, so she’s not going to be nursing. But the innuendo lingers in my mind. She’s playing with me now. Maybe because of Stacylynn, maybe because I saw her in a vulnerable spot earlier. Maybe because she knows we’re gonna spend the next few days together on the road. I’m not quite sure what she’s thinking, but she’s laughing at me right f**king now. “What?” I ask.

She shakes her head and looks at her menu. “What’s good here?”

Your tits, I think. Take them out for me. They are hard and swollen under her—my—t-shirt. “Maybe I should just give you all the shirts in my closet, since you seem to like them so much.”

“I think it’s interesting that you just now noticed I was wearing it.”

“You two ready to order?”

I glance up at the waitress and thank God that it’s not someone I know. “Number seven, scrambled, toast, and turkey bacon.”

“Number eleven, strawberries on top, hash browns and real bacon.”

“And coffee,” we both say at the same time. “Decaf,” Ashleigh adds quickly.

She smiles at us and leaves.

My phone buzzes in my pants and I take it out and check the screen. “Fuck.”

“Who is it?”

“Rook.”

“Who’s Rook?”

I hold up a finger at Ashleigh. “Yes, Miss Corvus.”

“Ford,” she starts calmly. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. OK? Don’t say mean things to make me hang up. I can’t take it.”

“Where’s Ronin?”

“Downstairs. I’m at home.”

“So you’re calling when he’s not around. Why?”

“Ford—”

“Rook, I’m done. I’ve walked away. When I walk away I mean it. I’m not coming back. It’s over.”

“Ford, you don’t end friendships that way. That’s not how you end a friendship. I know we’re still friends. I know we are. You’re just… I dunno. You’re just… Help me. Say something, Ford. Help me understand this. You know I love you, you know I do. I just…”

“You just don’t love me like you love Ronin.”

She says nothing to this but Ashleigh’s eyebrows go up. She puts her napkin on the table and starts to rise, but I grab her wrist and shake my head. “Stay here.”