The Accidental Vampire
"What?" Elvi dropped into her desk seat. "They did what?"
Owen swallowed nervously. "They... er... they put an ad in the paper for a male vampire," he repeated. "And six were supposed to come to the restaurant tonight to meet you. Five of them are already here, I think."
When Elvi stared at him with horror, he shifted uncomfortably, then said, "Well, I'd better get back to the table. Er... Thanks... for"-he gestured to his neck-"you know."
Elvi heard the door open and close, but just sat there, her mind spinning. She couldn't believe that Mabel and Teddy would... Dear God. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry... Or throw things. What were they thinking?
The door opened and Mabel stepped into the room.
"I just passed Owen. How are you doing?" Even as she asked the question, her gaze landed on the empty blood bag on the desk. "Chickened out, did he?" Shaking her head, Mabel crossed the room and grabbed the bag to toss it in the garbage, then settled on the corner of Elvi's desk and said, "Listen. I have something to tell you."
"'You put an ad in the Toronto paper advertising a single, female vamp looking for a male vamp and picked six to come spend the week in Port Henry," Elvi said dully.
"Ah." Mabel ran her tongue nervously over her lips. "Owen?"
Elvi nodded. "He wished me luck with tonight and then I made him tell me what he was talking about."
"Hmm." Mabel bit her lip and then let out a resigned breath. "Well, it's my own fault. I should have told you earlier, but I was afraid you'd get upset."
"You're damned right I'd have gotten upset!" Elvi snapped, and then asked with disbelief, "What were you thinking?"
"Well" She hesitated, then said grimly, "I was thinking that I'm sixty-two years old and not going to be around much longer and-"
"'Don't say that!" Elvi exclaimed with horror.
"Oh, Elvi." Mabel shook her head sadly. "We've both lost our husbands and several friends the last few years. Three of our set have died in the last six months alone. Who knows how much longer I have here? I don't want to die knowing that you'll be left here alone."
Elvi sat back and stared at her, hating what she was saying, but knowing she was right. Their friends and loved ones were starting to drop like flies and each loss made her feel sad, angry, and just plain guilty because death was something she no longer had to consider.
"This is for the best. If we find you a vampire mate, you'll have someone to help you through... everything," Mabel ended lamely rather than mention her own death again.
Elvi was silent. Part of her was tempted by the thought of having someone there for her, someone she didn't have to fear losing. But the other part of her...
"I don't think I'm ready to start dating again," she admitted unhappily.
"It's not dating exactly," Mabel assured her, and when Elvi peered at her with open disbelief, she continued, "Look, tons of men responded to the ad. I sorted through them, wrote back and forth and picked the ones I thought might be for real. I didn't do too badly either. It turns out we only had to send two packing. The rest of them are real vampires like you. They're all presentable and seem nice enough... well, except that longhaired one Pedro's iguana bit," she added with dislike. "He's a troublemaker that one. That's probably why the lizard jumped on him. Animals sense these things."
Elvi blinked. She'd been so stunned by what Owen had revealed, she hadn't put two and two together and connected her wounded vampire with Mabel and Teddy's plans. Of course, she realized, he wasn't just stopping on his way through town, he was here to meet her... because of the single's ad... because he thought she was advertising for a man.
"Oh God," she muttered with humiliation.
"No, it will be all right," Mabel assured her quickly as Elvi hunched forward in her chair and covered her flushed face with her hands. "Look, Teddy and I have taken care of everything. All you have to do is spend the week with them at the house and see if you click with one of them. Simple."
Elvi let her hands drop. "They think I'm some desperate old woman who puts ads in the paper."
"Old," Mabel snorted. "If I looked as good as you do, I wouldn't mind being sixty-two. Besides, they answered the ad. And you didn't put it in. So who's desperate here?"
Elvi muttered, "Oh God. This is so embarrassing."
"It isn't," Mabel insisted. "And it doesn't have to be dating. It will be whatever you want."
When Elvi just shook her head unhappily, Mabel added, "At the very least, you might make friends that you don't have to worry about up and croaking on you. And if we're lucky, they should know other female vamps you can hang out with."
"Four out of six, huh?" Elvi asked. "Owen said five were here."
"Oh." Mabel made a face. "The fifth one is a friend of the vampire Pedro's iguana bit." She shook her head. "How immature is that? Needing to bring a friend."
"Oh, I don't know, probably about as mature as a friend having to put an ad in a paper to find you a date," Elvi said dryly.
Mabel stuck out her tongue, then stood and considered her briefly. "You look tired."
"I shouldn't be. You let me sleep late."
"But?" Mabel prompted.
"But I'm weary," Elvi admitted, though she suspected it was a weariness of the soul. The moment she thought that, she felt more depressed. She was a vampire. Dead. Soulless. Spotting the concern on Mabel's face, she forced a smile. "I'm fine."
"You haven't been drinking as much blood as you used to," Mabel pointed out unhappily. "Maybe you're ailing."
"I don't think vampires ail, Mabel."
Mabel nodded, but still looked concerned. "Listen, why don't you just go home and relax? I'll take care of grilling the men."
Elvi's eyebrows rose. "After all the trouble you went to, you're letting me off the hook?"
"Not exactly. I just think it might be better to let you meet them more naturally at the house as you ran into them rather than serve you up to them like a roast pig on a platter."
Elvi winced at the imagery. Despite having met one of the men and finding him really quite nice and handsome, her mind presented her with an image of her following Mabel to a table full of Dracula types, all eyeing her speculatively, deciding if she was good enough for them. Shuddering, she shook her head and stood. "I'm not ready for this."
"No," Mabel agreed, slipping an arm around her shoulders and urging her toward the door. "I should have given you a little more warning or something."
"Hmm," Elvi murmured, but didn't think more time would have helped with this. To her it rather felt as if the whole matter was simply emphasizing how different she now was from everyone she'd always known and grown up with. Her difference was something she did her best to avoid acknowledging. A difficult matter considering she slept in a coffin, couldn't look in a mirror, and no longer got to eat food, but Elvi still somehow mostly managed it. She suspected she'd become the Queen of Denial these last five years.
"Go home, change into whatever you want, build a fire and pour yourself a glass of w-blood."
Elvi knew Mabel had started out saying wine, but had corrected herself. She wished with all her heart that she could go for the wine. A glass of wine and a fire sounded so relaxing and normal. A glass of blood and a fire just didn't have the same connotation.
"Do you want me to drive you?" Mabel asked as she opened the office door.
Elvi shook her head. "Don't be silly. It's only three blocks."
"All right. Well, you'll have the house to yourself. I'll keep the men here until the restaurant closes."
Victor tapped his fingers impatiently on the table top, his gaze fixed on the arch at the back of the restaurant. Eventually, Elvi had to come out of there, surely? The woman had left them waiting all night while the restaurant slowly emptied and they were grilled by Mabel and Brunswick. An experience to be sure. Used to keeping information about themselves to a minimum with mortals, the five men had sat, shifting uncomfortably and answering as evasively as possible. However, Mabel was a determined sort, asking direct questions such as what they did for a living? Were they married? What were their interests? Victor had been hard-pressed not to slip into her mind and make her stop and knew from the glances the men had sent his way, that the others had hoped he would, but hadn't dared themselves with him there. As the oldest, a hunter for the council, and a member of one of the oldest families among their kind, they naturally deferred to him.
Victor hadn't made the woman stop for two simple reasons. One, he felt that if one of the men did turn out to be a lifemate to Elvi Black, then she should have the information Mabel was trying to get for her. The second reason was that he was curious as to how far the woman would go for her friend. It was becoming clear that while their methods were causing Elvi problems with the council, they were done with love and loyalty. These two senior citizens were truly trying to help their Elvi. Being able to present his memories to the council might help the woman when she was finally dragged before them.
Victor's tapping stopped expectantly when the last customer left and Mabel appeared from the kitchen to lock the front door and then moved to their table.
"Right," she said, her gaze moving critically from one to the other.
When the silence began to wear on his nerves, Victor asked, "Are we finally going to get to spend time with Elvi?"
Brunswick glanced at him with surprise. "Elvi went home hours ago. Didn't we mention that?"
"It is, and you will," Mabel snapped back just as shortly, then added, "She was tired. I sent her home to relax and get used to the idea of what we've arranged this week."
Understanding immediately flickered through Victor. "You mean she was upset by what you did behind her back."
Mabel scowled, then ignored him and announced, "We're going to the house now. Teddy will take four of you in his car and I'll take the remaining one in mine."
"I'll ride with you," DJ announced getting to his feet.
Victor noted the way Mabel's mouth tightened with displeasure. He too found it difficult to believe DJ would actually volunteer to ride with the old harridan. She'd done nothing but criticize and harass him and DJ all night. The woman most definitely wouldn't have anything good to say about them to Elvi. Not that he cared, but he wondered why DJ would willingly put himself in the woman's company.
"All right, the rest of you are with me, then." Brunswick ushered them to the back of the restaurant.
"What about our car?" DJ asked as they stepped out into the parking lot.
"The house isn't far from here. We're just driving you there so you know where it is. You can come back for your cars later," Mabel answered promptly. She paused beside a red Toyota and opened the driver's door. When DJ started to open the front passenger door, she eyed him narrowly and ordered, "Back seat."
Victor bit his lip to keep from laughing as DJ scowled and got in the back.
"My car's over here," Brunswick announced as he led the way to the only other car in the small lot, a police car parked in the back right corner. Spotting the grill between the front seat and back, Victor moved to the front passenger side door before anyone else could lay claim to it. There was no damned way he was sitting in the caged backseat, squished between two other men.
Mabel hadn't been kidding about the house being close. It was a bare couple of minutes before Brunswick was steering the car into a driveway that curved up behind a large brick Victorian house.
"There are only six bedrooms," Mabel announced as she led them into the front entry. "Elvi's, mine, and four guest bedrooms. That means two of you will have to bunk together." She paused at the foot of a curving staircase to glare at Victor and DJ. "And since you are the one who chose to bring an uninvited friend along, Argeneau, the two of you can be the ones to share."
Victor's mouth tightened, but he didn't comment as she started up the stairs.
"What delightful trim," Edward praised, his gaze slipping over the woodwork above the doors before he turned to follow Mabel. "Victorian?"
"Yes." She actually smiled at Edward, something Victor had almost decided she was incapable of. "The house was built in the 1890s."
"Such fine workmanship." Edward ran his hand lovingly along the curving stair rail. "The Victorians understood the beauty of fine craftsmanship."
"I couldn't agree more." Mabel beamed and slowed so that they were side by side as they continued on.
Victor managed not to gag at the brownie points Edward was racking up. The man was obviously sucking up, somewhat surprising from the pompous Brit.
Once they were on the second floor, Mabel led them around a corner to the right and along a short hall to a door. "Victor and DJ will sleep here."
She opened the door to show them a large room with a king-sized bed, a sitting area with a couch, chair and table, and a small refrigerator.
Stepping inside, Victor glanced to the right and saw two doors, one leading to a walk-in closet, the other to an en suite bathroom.
"The couch pulls out into a second bed," Brunswick announced, reminding them of his presence. He then shifted and said, "Though, I suppose you won't be needing it. Fortunately, all the rooms are plenty big enough for your coffins."
Victor thought the joke was in poor taste. The fact that none of the other immortals laughed, suggested they agreed. They were all silent as they followed Mabel out of the room and into the hall again.
She led them to the opposite end of the hall and up another curving staircase to the third floor of the house. This level had obviously been recently renovated. The fine woodwork was missing here and everything appeared new. Each room was outfitted with a king-sized bed, a sitting area, its own small refrigerator, and an en suite bathroom.
"I don't know whether you made alternate arrangements, but we stocked up on blood for you," Brunswick announced as Edward stepped over to the refrigerator and opened the door to reveal several bags of blood inside.
"We'd rather you didn't bite the locals," the officer added firmly.
"It is?" Brunswick frowned, obviously considering that their Elvi was biting mortals. Then he straightened his shoulders and said, "Well, I'm glad to hear it, but I'm the law here in Port Henry. If you have a problem, come see me. If you are a problem, you can expect I'll come find you."
As a threat it was effective, Victor thought, or would have been if the man weren't mortal. It seemed obvious that they'd lived so long with their tame Elvi that they now assumed all immortals were as agreeable. The man had a lot to learn. Fortunately for him, Victor had no interest in teaching him.
"I'm going for the car," he growled, turning to head back down.
"Do you want company, Victor?" DJ asked, catching up to him in the second-floor hall, then grinned and added, "I could act as lookout, make sure you don't get caught and get yourself in trouble with Captain Brunswick."
Victor smiled faintly at the teasing offer, not surprised DJ understood he'd feed along the way. He shook his head. "No need."
"Okay. I'm going to grab a bag in our room while you're at it, then," DJ said, continuing on up the hall and around the corner while Victor started lightly down the spiral staircase.
Wondering over the comment about being a lookout to keep Victor from getting in trouble, Elvi started to straighten from the keyhole she'd been peering through, but paused as two more men appeared from the stairs to the third floor. One was a tall fair-haired man. The other was a couple inches shorter and dark-haired. Both were good-looking. She eyed them curiously as they walked past.
"I was not expecting all this," the dark-haired man commented. "The Elvi, she did not mention there would be others here."
"You mean Mabel," the blond corrected and reminded him. "Mabel is the one who wrote the e-mails."
"Si. Mabel."
"I didn't expect competition either," the blond now admitted unhappily, and then shrugged. "Such is life."
"Yes," the darker man murmured and then added, "I do not mind Victor or you so much, but Edward, he is a prick."
"Hmm." The blond nodded. "Let's hope he can read her, or that she gives him his walking papers quickly."
The brunette shook his head. "He will be the perfect gentleman in front of her. It is only behind her back he will be shoving his thumb at us. Just look at how he is sucking up to her friend Mabel to get on her good side."
"I think he's slipped into her mind to exert some influence there," the blond said.
"You think?" he asked with surprise. "Well, that's hardly the fair play."
"All's fair in love and lifemates," the blond answered dryly.
Elvi didn't hear the other man's response. The two were out of sight on the stairs and no longer within hearing distance.
"I do love this house. The Victorians had their faults, but architecture wasn't one of them."
Elvi's eyes slid back to the end of the hall as the fifth and final man started up with Mabel and Teddy.
"Oh, I couldn't agree more, Edward," Mabel enthused, and Elvi frowned at the gushing tone to her voice. Mabel never gushed. And this was the Edward the men had mentioned, she realized, eyes narrowing. "I think he's slipped into her mind and exerted some influence," the blond had said. Elvi had no idea what he was talking about, but intended to find out. She wasn't having her friend toyed with.
"I should go get my car," Edward murmured as they passed the door where Elvi crouched, watching through the keyhole.
"Teddy can drive you back to get it," Mabel offered, and Elvi's expression tightened further. It just wasn't like Mabel to volunteer others for a task. If anything, she would have offered to take him herself.
"Uh... sure," Teddy agreed, obviously equally surprised at Mabel's volunteering him. "But then I have to head back to the station."
Straightening, Elvi turned away from the door as her mind worked. Was Edward controlling Mabel's mind? And what was this Victor up to that his friend thought he would need a lookout? What the hell had Mabel got them into, inviting these men here? So far the only two who didn't seem to be up to something were the tall Nordic-looking one and the shorter, Italian chap.
Supposing she wasn't going to find out anything by staying in her room, Elvi straightened her shoulders and moved quickly to the door opposite the one she'd been eavesdropping at. She slipped through the dark sun porch attached to her room and hurried down the stairs to the lower deck.