The Arrangement 3

My voice is so sweet, so soft. I cup his face between my hands and say, “Oh, no. Did that blow to the head break your brain?”

Sean seems to come back from wherever his mind drifted off to. The panic in his eyes vanishes. I have back the flirt with the bike, the man with the kite. “If I’m bludgeoned by a piggy kite and lose my mind, you have to promise to tell people that I was done in by something much more manly.”

I nod slowly, smiling. “Mmm. Bear attack. There are bears all over the beach. Totally believable.” I wink at him.

“That mouth is going to get you in trouble,” Sean says, smiling. The look in his eye is playful and carefree.

The kite is behind him. I lean forward, like I’m going to hug him. Sean tenses slightly. I have no idea why. We’ve had sex, how is he still tense when I touch him? The hug was a diversion anyway. I reach behind him and grab the kite.

Smacking the kite into his back, I giggle, saying, “Bear attack! Bear attack! Rwoar!”

Sean’s jaw drops open. He lets me smack him with the kite at least three times before he tackles me, and knocks me back into the sand. Sean’s fingers find my bare skin under my sweater and he tickles. I laugh and continue to taunt him. “Next time we should get a bear kite. That way it’s more believable. Millionaire, Sean Ferro, attacked on Jones Beach, by a bear. Channel 12 will come running out if we call that in.” I reach into my pocket, or rather I try to, but Sean yanks the phone away.

“I’m not a millionaire and Channel 12 doesn’t cover bear attacks—too exciting.” He pins me down, and manages to straddle me. Sean’s breathing hard. He looks down at my face and I go still.

“You’re not rich?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not a millionaire.” Sean has a strange look on his face.

“Ah, since we’re playing coy, I’m not a millionaire, either. I’m a twentyaire. I have twenty-five bucks in my pocket until I get paid.” I try to pull my wrists free, but Sean doesn’t budge. “So, come on. What are you? I told you how much I’m worth.” I smile at him, laughing. “By the way, I’m paying for lunch. The $1 menu at Wendy’s has some bitchin’ chicken nuggets with your name on them.” I waggle my eyebrows at him, not expecting him to tell me anything.

“You’re treating me?” he asks, surprised. I nod. Sean pauses for a second. Then he licks his lips and leans down and whispers in my ear. “I’m a billionaire, maybe a few times over.”

I giggle when he pulls back and say, “Like the Monopoly man?” I stare at him. Holy shit. Sean watches me, waiting to see how I take it. I act like I’m going to be serious, and ask, “Do you have that kickass top hat? Nah, I bet you’re more of a monocle man.” I reach into his pocket and Sean squirms.

He grabs my wrists and pins me again. “Seriously? That’s your reaction? You ask me if I dress like a cartoon character?” My eyes shift back and forth between his. Sean seems surprised.

I’m more distracted by his eyes. I shrug. “Money’s money. You need it to live, but beyond that, I don’t care. You can’t take it with you. Hey, and this doesn’t mean that I’m going to stiff you on lunch. Don’t worry. I’ll get you a drink and some fries, too. What’s mine is yours.” I grin at him, expecting him to laugh, but he doesn’t. The pressure on my wrists disappears as Sean sits up. He slips off of me and I sit up next to him. “Did I say something wrong?” I ask, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Because I do that a lot. I didn’t mean to be ass-y Avery.”

Sean glances at me. “You seriously only have twenty bucks?” I nod. “And you were going to spend most of it on me, today?”

I nod again. The way he’s acting makes me nervous. I try to play it off, like it’s nothing. “It’s not rocket science, Sean. We’re hungry. We eat.”

Sean’s eyes scan my face, like he can’t believe what he sees. “You really don’t have any desire to be rich?”

“There’s a line between being piss-ass poor and having enough to get by. I want to hit the get-by line, maybe a little bit more.” I shrug and pull my knees into my chest. “More than that just fucks things up. Life isn’t about money. It’s about the people you love—the relationships you make. Maybe I have that once poor always poor thing. I don’t know, but I don’t really care, Mr. Jones. If you have a problem with it—”

Sean stares at me like I have two heads. “I don’t have a problem with it, not at all.”

I wiggle my toes in the sand and say, “Can’t buy me love.”

To my surprise, Sean says the next line of the song. I smile at him. Sean continues to recite the verse and soon his words turn to song. The velvety sound of his voice sounds perfect. Sean pulls me to his chest and sings just for me. I relax, looking out at the ocean and watch the waves. His fingers smooth my hair as his breath warms my cheek. It makes that feeling in my chest stir, the good one. For the longest time, the only thing I could feel was that hollow ache.

CHAPTER 7

Sean nuzzles his chin to the side of my face and holds me tight. I’m sitting between his legs on the sand. The way he breathes makes me feel peaceful. It’s strange. I don’t understand why or how. I don’t question things like that anymore. I just take it for what it is—I feel at ease around him. Sean rubs his hands over my arms. The chill in the air numbed my skin a while ago. It feels good to have him sitting so close, to warm me up.

I tilt my head back to ask him something, but never get the chance. When our eyes meet, something shifts. All day Sean has acted more like a friend than a lover. I’ve convinced myself it’s because that’s what he is. I’m his paid lover. It’s not the same. But that look in his eye ensnares me. It pulls me to him, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter to life.

Sean watches my lips with a hungry intensity that sends sparks through my body. Through lowered lashes, his eyes never stray from my mouth. I’m pulled to him. With everything in me, I try to resist, but I can’t. I’m barely breathing, hardly holding on. Sean gives me something to hold on to, at least for now.

The space between us closes. Sean’s lips are right there. I feel the magnetic pull and before I know it, his lips are brushing against mine. I suck in air, trying hard to control myself. I don’t want him to know how enamored I am, how much I want him. It has nothing to do with contracts or money. It’s Sean. I want him, I want to be around him and taste his lips because I want to.

The kiss is a breathtaking tease. When he pulls away, Sean’s blue eyes are blazing like twin flames. I can’t look away. I twist in his lap and turn to my side. Leaning into his chest, I lift my hand to his cheek. Leaning in slowly, watching his beautiful lips, I close the space between us. My heart pounds harder as I feel Sean’s hands in my hair. He doesn’t pull me forward, but he doesn’t push me back.

Something inside of me is screaming for me to stop. It’s the voice that tells me to hold on, that I can survive this. When every other thought falls silent, it’s always there. I don’t understand the warning bells going off. I just know how Sean makes me feel and I need to feel something that I understand right now. That night on the motorcycle, the night he helped me chase my car down, there were no voices telling me to beware. He could have ridden off with me and dumped my body at the Captree boat docks. No one would have known what happened to me. There was no little voice in the back of my head then, so it’s totally weird that it’s there now.

Breathing in deeply, I ignore the warning and press my lips to his. The uncertainty fades as Sean kisses me back. His tongue sweeps against the seam of my lips, gently, asking me if I want him. When I let him in, Sean holds me tight and leans us back into the sand. He rolls so that I’m under him. The cold air and the hot kisses crash together. My pulse pounds harder as the kiss builds hotter and hotter. Sean keeps his lips on mine the entire time, not stopping for breath. His hands touch my face, gently stroking my cheek as the kiss intensifies. My heart thuds inside of me like it’s been sleeping and suddenly startled awake. My body is hot and cold, my mind is swimming in sensations that conflict.

Sean knows how to draw me out of my despair. His touch is like magic. Everything that was crushing me is gone, temporarily held away. I lose myself in his lips. My eyes are closed and I focus on the feel of his lips on mine. Every time he sweeps his tongue over mine, my insides flutter. It’s magic.

After a moment, Sean pulls back. His eyes sweep my face before locking with mine. Reaching toward me, Sean tucks a dark curl behind my ear. “Your kiss is addicting,” he says, his voice a little too husky from a kiss. I smile at him and touch his cheek and feel the light stubble under the pads of my fingers. Sean’s eyes lower as I do it. He takes a slow, deep, breath like he’s savoring my touch. When his eyes open again, he takes a jagged breath. My gaze drifts to his lips. I can’t stop staring at his mouth. “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m not going to be able to stop.”

An awkward smile spreads across my face. My fingers twirl the hair at the base of his neck. “You’d have sex in the sand, when it’s freezing outside?”

“If it meant that I could be with you,” his hands strokes my cheek, “then, yes.”

I stare into Sean’s eyes, unable to blink, unable to breathe. This feels real. I don’t know what to say. “You get to be with me as much as you want. You bought me, remember?”

Sean’s eyes dart back and forth between mine. His hand strokes my cheek again. The sensation makes my eyes close briefly as his warm fingers trail across my chilled skin. “But it’s not like this.”

Before I can ask him what he means, Sean’s lips are on mine. He kisses me fiercely, pressing his mouth firmly to mine. His hands rove my body, carefully moving over areas that no one is supposed to touch. His hands slip over the curve of my hips and under my sweater. I feel Sean’s cold fingers press against the small of my back. I arch toward him and Sean pulls me tighter. He kisses me like he’s never going to get another chance.