The Girl Next Door (Shadow Agents #6)(35)
Author: Cynthia Eden

“I think you’re compromised on this one,” Mercer told him bluntly. “You aren’t the best agent for the job.”

“What?” There was no way he’d let Mercer bench him. “I’m the one who’s been monitoring her. I’m the one who kept the EOD out of the news. I’m the one—”

“—who slept with the reporter.”

Every muscle in Cooper’s body locked down. “How the hell do you know that?”

“You think that you were the only agent I had keeping tabs on her? Deuce has been watching her place. My agents always have backup close by.”

“Then I guess he got a real eyeful.” His control wasn’t fracturing. It was splintering.

While Mercer was his same old cold self. “Emotions cloud judgment. I know what I’m talking about here.”

“You mean your daughter?” They were alone, so Cooper decided to cut right to the chase. He’d worked closely with Mercer before, and he knew the man’s secrets. “You let your love for Cassidy compromise you—and you nearly got her killed.”

“I did get my wife killed,” Mercer shocked him by saying. Grief flickered in his eyes. “And when I realized how dangerous I was to those closest to me, I backed the hell off.” Mercer’s gaze turned shuttered once more as it drifted over Cooper’s face. “I backed away from the only family that I had left because I wanted to protect them.”

And what? He was supposed to follow in Mercer’s footsteps? Hell, no. Cooper would make his own way in this world, and he’d make his own choices. “If you think I’m backing away from Gabrielle, you’re dead wrong—”

“I backed away,” Mercer’s voice cut though his words, “because I thought I was protecting them. But it turns out, my leaving just meant that I wasn’t there when they needed me the most.”

Cooper blinked. Okay. Now that he hadn’t been expecting. “I thought you were going to say I should stay away from her. You said emotions compromise agents.”

“They do. So be aware of that danger, but, no, I’m not telling you to back away from her.” Mercer turned away and paced toward the window. “I had a sister. She was younger than me—ten years younger. So beautiful and sweet. After I lost my wife, I didn’t want to run the risk of losing her, too.”

Mercer had never gotten this personal with him. As far as Cooper knew, Mercer didn’t get personal with anyone.

“I didn’t want one of my enemies to get close to my sister,” Mercer said, gazing out of that window. “I had—still have—so many folks who’d love to hurt me, and they’d do it in an instant by taking out the ones I care about in this world.”

Like a sister.

Mercer’s shoulders were stiff and straight, his spine tense. “But it wasn’t an enemy who took her.” Sadness deepened his tone. “Cancer did that. It came in an instant. It took her from me too soon. I blinked, and she was just—gone.”

Cooper rubbed his chest, pushing at the ache that was always there when he remembered his mother. “I’m sorry. My…my mother died of cancer.” He could understand the pain Mercer felt.

“Did she?” The sadness deepened in Mercer’s voice. “I’m sorry for your loss, too, son. So sorry…” Mercer’s voice trailed away. He didn’t look back at Cooper, but stared straight ahead. Cooper could see Mercer’s reflection in the window’s glass. “We do our best in this world. We try to protect those we love. We try to make a difference, but, in the end, we can still fail. We can still hurt. And we can still lose….”

I don’t want to lose Gabrielle.

“There’s one lesson I’ve learned. If you want to be happy in this world, then you need to find the one thing that you care about the most. When you find it, you move heaven and hell and you do anything you can to protect that thing.” Mercer finally turned toward him. “Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

He did. Mercer wasn’t pulling him from the case. He was clearing him to do anything necessary—to protect Gabrielle. He hadn’t expected that response from Mercer. Cooper had thought that he’d have to fight in order to stay at her side.

“Go on, get down to that fourth floor. And remember, if you need anything…day or night, you call me. You can count on me to be there for you, Marshall.”

Everyone was wrong about Mercer. He wasn’t the cold, emotionless director.

Cooper spun for the door.

“Annalise should’ve had a different ending.” Mercer’s words were a low mumble.

Yet Cooper heard him clearly, and he froze. “How do you know my mother’s name?”

Silence. Then, “Do you really think you’d get an offer to join the EOD without me reviewing every single detail of your life?”

So Mercer had already known about his mother’s cancer before he’d told his own story. Maybe that was why the director had revealed his past to Cooper. He knew I’d understand.

“The fourth floor’s waiting,” Mercer reminded him.

Cooper didn’t want Gabrielle waiting any longer.

* * *

THE DOOR CLICKED shut behind Cooper.

Mercer glanced down. His hands were shaking. When he’d been talking with Cooper, the old pain had come back. The hurt, for what he’d lost.

Annalise. He hadn’t needed to dig into Cooper’s past to learn about her.

He could just close his eyes and picture sweet Anna. That long blond hair. Her wide smile and glinting eyes—the same shade as Cooper’s.

She should’ve had a perfect life. A long life.

“I’m doing my best to protect him,” Mercer whispered. By staying away, he’d missed out on being close when Annalise needed him.

So he’d made sure to keep a good eye on Cooper. When the man had been taken in Afghanistan, Mercer immediately ordered his agents to sweep in for a rescue mission.

Cooper had a love of danger—a love that put him in too much jeopardy.

If Cooper could love something more than that wild rush of adrenaline, if he could love someone else more…

Then the man might actually have a chance of living the life Annalise would have wanted for him.

Cooper just had to feel a deep connection for someone else. He had to need someone more than he needed the next mission.

Judging by the rage and fear that Mercer had seen in his eyes, the reporter was making Cooper feel that connection, all right.