The Goddess Test (Goddess Test #1)(37)
Author: Aimee Carter

“There is no winner’s circle,” said James. “It isn’t some competition, all right? This is hard on all of us. We’ve been trying for a century to find someone to take Persephone’s place, and if we don’t—”

“If you don’t, then you get to take Henry’s place,” I snapped. “Yet here you are, trying to ruin it for him.”

“Because I thought you wanted out,” he said, his jaw clenched so tightly that I could see a muscle twitch. “You said—”

“Henry was right. I didn’t understand, and I’m not about to walk away and kill him if I can help it.”

James shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “I never thought you would. But the terms of the agreement are final, and if you want to leave, there isn’t anything we can do to stop you. If Henry holds you here against your will, then we have every right to step in.”

“Wait,” I said as what he was saying slowly dawned on me. “What do you mean, we?”

Next to me, Henry frowned, his brow furrowing so deeply that for a moment he didn’t look like himself. “James,” he said, a warning.

James straightened, his arms falling to his side. “I don’t care if she knows.”

“The others will,” he said, but he made no move to stop him.

James took a hesitant step toward me, as if he wanted to reach out to me, but I gave him a cold look, and he fell short. “I’m a member of the council.”

My heart nearly stopped. “You’re on the council?” I sputtered. “You can’t be. You’re—you.”

“Astute observation,” he said, more to himself than to me. “Listen, Kate—I don’t care if you believe me or not. Well, no, I’d like it if you did, but I don’t expect you to. You can hate me all you want for trying to take you away from Henry, but I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”

“And you think what’s best for me is to live the rest of my life knowing I’m the reason Henry dies?” Hot tears threatened to spill out of my eyes, but I blinked them back, forcing my voice to stay steady. “Not to mention what’s going to happen to my mother.”

“You wouldn’t remember any of this if you decide to leave,” said James. “That’s also part of the deal.”

“Enough about this stupid deal.” My voice broke, and my cheeks turned hot. “This is my decision, not yours. You can’t go behind my back and end this just because you think you know what’s best for me. I get to say when this is over, not you.”

I looked back and forth between Henry and James to make sure they were both paying attention, but Henry was concentrating on my ankle, his head bent and his eyes closed. A thick warmth spread out from my knee to my toes, and Henry wrapped his hands around the joint, gently moving it in a circle.

“Does this hurt?” he said, and I shook my head. He set my leg down, and I gingerly pulled it toward me, wiggling my toes. It didn’t ache anymore.

“How did you—” I started, my anger momentarily forgotten, and Henry shrugged.

“You’re not supposed to heal her,” said James from across the room. Henry righted himself, and even from the side, I could see the deadened look in his eyes.

“It seems we are breaking all sorts of rules tonight.” He stood. “If you will excuse me.”

Before I could protest, he was gone, leaving me and James alone in the room together. I stood as well, testing my ankle. It was solid.

“It wasn’t my choice, you know,” said James quietly. “Taking over for him if you fail. I’m the only member of the council who knows the Underworld as well as he does.”

“But you still wanted it,” I said.

He looked away, out a dark bay window and on to the grounds. The moon was nearly full, and I could see the tops of the bare trees rustling in the November wind. “We last as long as what we represent does. Minor gods fade all the time when they’re forgotten, but the council isn’t minor. As long as humanity exists, there will always be love and war. There will always be music and art, literature and peace, and marriage and children and travelers. But humanity won’t last forever, and after it fades, so will we. Only death will remain.”

“And if you control the Underworld, you get to survive even after everything else is gone?” I said it as a question, but I already knew the answer, and a knot formed in my throat. “That’s what this is about?”

“No. This right here, this is about making sure you survive. I don’t want you to die, Kate—please. None of us do, and Henry gave up a long time ago. Maybe he’s trying for you, but not because he wants to continue—he just doesn’t want you to be killed, that’s all.”

I paused. “Is there a good chance of that?”

James looked at me, and I could see the naked fear in his eyes. “No one’s survived past Christmas. Please. Henry doesn’t want this. He’s always going to be in love with Persephone, not you. Look around you—look at where you are. This was her bedroom.”

There was nothing unusual about the room, only the picture that Henry had thrown at James. But the more I studied my surroundings, the more I really saw it. It was like a child’s room that a parent didn’t dare touch after tragedy struck. There were old-fashioned hairpins on the vanity in the corner, and the curtains were drawn to let the sunlight in. There was even a dress lying out in the corner, waiting to be worn. It was like it was frozen in time, lying untouched for centuries until Persephone returned.

“That reflection—” James gestured to the image of Persephone and Henry together, looking so happy. “It isn’t real. It’s a wish, a dream, a hope, not a memory. He loved her so much that he’d have torn the world apart if she asked him to, but she could barely stand to look at him. Ever since she died, he’s been begging the council to release him and let him fade. Do you really think you can compete with that?”

“It isn’t a competition,” I said roughly, echoing his words from before. But even as I said it, I knew it was. If I couldn’t make Henry care about me, he would have no reason to continue, and in his mind, I would always be pitted against Perseph one. But that was no reason to stop fighting for him. He deserved a chance at happiness just like I did, and I wasn’t ready to tell yet another person in my life goodbye.