The Hardest Fall

Feeling like I had some kind of a game plan I could focus on when I went back to the apartment, I leaned back in my seat and let out a huge breath. I was thankful for having Kayla and Jared as friends, more than they could ever imagine. They made coming to L.A.—the biggest risk of my life—worth it for me. God knows nothing else had gone the way I’d hoped it would.

Kayla cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat before glancing at me and then at Jared, all the while shredding her empty paper cup into small pieces. “So, I think in light of this new development, I have to tell you guys something.” Before either of us could open our mouths to say anything, she went ahead and continued, “I might have gone on a few dates with Dylan.”

“Dylan who?” Jared asked, still chewing on a piece of toast as he eyed the rest of Kayla’s brownie.

“My Dyl—ah, I mean the Dylan that’s staying in my apartment? The wide receiver? Dylan Reed?”

“Yeah. That one.”

Jared stopped eating.

Something weird settled in my stomach. “Huh?”

“Two dates, Zoe,” she rushed out, lifting two of her fingers to emphasize her words. “It was just two times.”

Some guy bumped my chair from behind, and I scooted myself a little forward as I took a few sips of my already cold coffee, my attention focused on the table. It was fine. It was a surprise, sure, but still completely fine. It wasn’t like I was interested in Dylan in that way or anything like that. It would’ve also been completely fine if they had gone out more than two times. He was off limits anyway, wasn’t he? Not just because he was my roommate and out of my league, but because he was one of Mark’s players.

“It was freshman year, before I met you guys. I think it was a few months before actually. I was having this two-month hiatus kind of thing with Keith”—which meant he had broken up with her for some stupid reason—“and my dorm roommate was going out with this football player. She kind of forced me to go out with them because I was upset about Keith, and the guy was gonna bring a friend, so I was supposed to keep him occupied while also occupying myself. You know I didn’t have any friends other than Keith my first year here, so I said fine.” She grimaced and went back to shredding pieces. “He was really sweet actually, but you know how I am. I love Keith, and I just wasn’t into getting to know anyone else. I barely talked the whole night, and the second time…my roommate happened again. That time I actually managed to chat with him for a little while. We talked about our families, how we both had big, loud ones and all that, but neither one of us was acting like it could turn into something more. It was just a friendly night out sort of thing. I think my roommate started seeing the other guy—his name was something weird like Rap or Rip or something—so she didn’t need me to hold her hand after that second time. I barely saw Dylan again. Also, it was only double dates, never just the two of us. Plus, a few weeks after that I was back with Keith anyway. He would always say hi those rare few times we ran into each other on campus, but I don’t think I’ve seen him in a year.”

Jared hummed and drew my gaze back to him. “Those don’t count as dates, KayKay, at least not in my book.”

“I agree, but at the time I might have described it as if I went out on these big dates with a football player to Keith, just to make him jealous. I just wanted to mention it now in case Dylan saw me with Zoe and actually remembered and said something. I didn’t want it to be a surprise.”

“I wish I had my own little interaction with this Dylan guy. You girls have both met him one way or another, one of you in a much weirder setting, of course.” He gave Kayla a wide-eyed look and gestured at me with his chin.

That earned him another smack on the shoulder, which he barely managed to escape. “Haha. So funny.”

“And here I am, the guy who only watches…oh, I don’t know, all his games, and I’ve never gotten the chance to meet him? You will fix this horrible wrong, Zoe.”

It was the wad of paper hitting me in the face that brought me out of silence. I flung it right back at Jared and turned my head to look at Kayla.

“Nothing will happen between us, Kay. He is way out of my league. Trust me. So, even if you had dated for real, that would’ve been okay.”

“Because you have Mark to think about, right? And of course you’re paper bag ugly, can’t forget about that,” Jared piped up, his tone flatter than it had been just a few seconds before.

Yes, there was always Mark.

“I’m not saying I’m ugly at all. I happen to find myself beautiful at times, but he is still way out of my league. You’d know what I mean if you saw him up close.”

Jared sighed and shook his head. “And Mark?”

“Yeah, there’s him, too,” I mumbled without looking either of them in the eye as I busied myself with finishing my coffee.

“And when are you gonna get shot of him, Zoe? I’d be lying if I said I’m exactly clear on what you’re expecting to happen here, but I can tell you it’s not gonna happen—I know that much. You need to get out of his apartment, too. He is treating you like a paid slut, only calling you when he wants to and only meeting you at that apartment or all the way across town in a random restaurant, never anywhere public.”

“Hey, take it down a notch, would you?” Kayla snarled at Jared as I swallowed my coffee down the wrong pipe. “That was a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Geez,” I coughed out when I could breathe again, taking the half-full water bottle and napkins Kayla offered me. “Thanks for making it sound creepy. He is not as bad as you’re making him sound, and it’s not like we can walk around campus together, at least not yet. I wanted to move out, remember?” I wasn’t blaming Kayla for flaking on me in any way, but I was blaming Keith for being a needy bastard.

While my plan for my third year had been to move out of Mark’s apartment and move in with Kayla, it hadn’t exactly gone the way I wanted it to. We’d found the apartment and were days away from signing the lease when Keith had a fit about her moving in with me.

If she was moving out of the dorms, why wasn’t she moving in with him? Why would two college girls wanna live together? Was she seeing someone else? It went on and on and on and on. Kayla would’ve never gone back on her word, but when I saw the toll it was taking on her, how scathing Keith’s words were, I told her it wouldn’t be a problem if she chose to move in with Keith instead of me. As long as she was happy, I’d be fine, though after the whole deal, I wasn’t sure how anyone could be happy with Keith. But, that wasn’t for me to say, at least not then.

Jared’s home was close to campus, only a fifteen-minute walk, so he didn’t need a new place or a closer one to rent. Considering he needed to be home to help his single mom raise his five-year-old half-sister, he couldn’t afford to move out anyway. These little facts prevented me from moving in with either of my best friends. Unlike Kayla, who had enjoyed her two-year stint in the dorms, I hadn’t enjoyed dorm life all that much, so back to Mark’s apartment I’d gone. I’d thought maybe things would change, thought we’d get closer and he’d keep his promises for a change.

“I’m really sorry, Zoe,” Kayla said, breaking into my thoughts. “I was looking forw—”