The Hardest Fall

As she turned away from me, I caught her wrist from behind and pulled her back to my chest. After the initial grunt, she stilled. Thanks to those boots I loved so much, her head reached almost up to my chin.

Tilting my head, I took a deep breath of her sweet scent and tried to calm the hell down. Her shoulders tensed.

“You can’t be this clueless,” I repeated in a whisper against her ear, catching the slight tremble in her body. Her head twisted, just a small movement. I glanced down to see her hand gripping the edge of her cardigan, so I reached for her fingers and laced them with my own, ignoring how tensely she was holding herself.

“Dylan, I—”

“I just want you to listen to me, just once. That’s it, Zoe. That’s all.” Grasping her other hand, I did the same and wrapped our arms around her stomach. Her left hand squeezed mine in a tight grip, but she didn’t yank herself away.

I closed the last few inches separating us by pulling her flush against my chest.

“Dylan, there are peo—”

“It’s dark, and no one can see us back here,” I muttered in a bitter voice. Her warning helped me remember exactly why I couldn’t and shouldn’t hold her like this, not even in a dark corner at a party where no one cared about anything but their booze and who they’d get to take to bed or whatever empty surface they could find. “Don’t ask me to let go, please. I can’t.”

She quieted so I gave her middle a squeeze as a thank you and let out a long breath. Resting my forehead on her shoulder, I inhaled deeply. Slowly, as if she was afraid she’d startle me, she rested her temple against the side of my head, and something inside me unraveled, my blood boiling hot.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay away anymore.

My fingers tightened around hers to the point that I knew I must’ve been hurting her, yet we still stood like that for several seconds.

Lifting my head, making sure our temples stayed in contact, I started to explain what she had walked in on before she ran away.

“I came home just a few minutes before you and she was waiting at the door. I told her to leave, but she kept insisting she wanted to talk to me.”

Zoe’s body stiffened against mine. Having no clue what I was allowed to do, how much I could cross the invisible line that existed between us, I leaned harder against the wall to restrain myself from doing something stupid and limited myself to stroking just over that small dip where her thumb and first finger met.

“Before I could make her leave, I heard Ms. Hilda unlock her door so I had to let her come in. When you got there, she’d only been there for a few minutes.”

“Who is she?” she whispered, her head tilted to the side, eyes half closed, her breathing uneven.

I huffed and nuzzled her temple.

“Victoria, my ex. I had nothing to say to her, I swear, and when you came in, she asked if I wanted her to leave at the same time you did. I didn’t even think, just said yes. I didn’t think you’d misunderstand. I didn’t think you’d leave.”

There was no reaction for long seconds, but she wasn’t walking away either.

“I was going to take you out for pizza before my shift at Jimmy’s,” I muttered into her ear when the shouts coming from the room rose up and blended with the music.

Her head tilted farther, offering me more as the back of her head dropped to my shoulder.

Fuck.

She muttered something, but I couldn’t hear it, so I leaned down until her mouth was right next to my ear.

“I love pizza,” she repeated, and I had to close my eyes because her lips had brushed against my skin, nearly rendering me incapacitated.

“I know you do—you only say it every day.” I smiled in relief and pressed a lingering kiss on her cheek that surprised the both of us.

Slowly she lifted her head from my shoulder. Reluctantly, I let her hands go and our arms dropped down. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and I was afraid I was too far gone to stop myself when it came to anything involving Zoe.

Clearing my throat, I continued, and this time I tried to talk louder so I wouldn’t have to speak directly into her ear. The closer we stood, the more dangerous it was. “I ran after you, but you were already gone, and I didn’t want to leave Victoria in the apartment. I sent her away less than a minute later then came after you.”

Turning around to face me, she looked up, straight into my eyes. “How did you know I was going to be here?”

“I called Chris and got the phone number of the guy who dated Kayla’s friend back when I met her. Then a couple more calls and I got Kayla’s number. She didn’t tell you?” She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Unable to stop myself, I reached up and cupped her cheek, saving her lip by pulling at it with my thumb. “I didn’t know where you were, so I had to wait an hour before coming here.”

“I went for pizza,” she said with a hesitant smile on her lips.

Letting go of her cheek, I dropped my head back on the wall and laughed, relaxing a bit.

“Of course you did,” I said when I could look at her again.

She lifted her shoulder and gave me a half shrug. “Food makes me happy, pizza especially.”

When neither of us uttered a word, just keeping our eyes on each other, my smile slowly disappeared and I straightened from the wall.

At the same time, the music stopped and there were only shouts and boos.

“Zoe…”

She was quick to look away and gave me her back.

“I don’t think Kayla is okay. Something’s wrong, and I should get back to—”

I grabbed her hand from behind since it had kept her from leaving the last time.

I couldn’t let her go, not just yet. That little pocket of space was ours, providing shelter for us, for what I’d been craving for weeks, and I wasn’t ready or willing to let it go so quickly or easily. “Ten minutes,” I said. “Just ten more minutes to feel like this.”

When I gave her hand a gentle tug, she didn’t argue or pull away. In two steps she was back in my arms and I was hugging her to my chest even harder. She didn’t seem to mind and I didn’t plan on letting go, not for at least another ten minutes.

The way my heart was hammering in my chest, I didn’t think I’d ever been so anxious in my life. It was the same kind of thrill as being on the field.

“Dylan,” Zoe mumbled when the back of my hand brushed the underside of her boob and her head rested against my shoulder again.

I hugged her tighter.

“Choose me, Zoe.” The words rushed out of me before I could stop myself.

Her grip reflexively tightened around my hands at my words as her eyelids closed slowly.

“Leave him,” I continued. “I’m right here and I want you, so damn much. I’m not sure how much more I can take. Every time I see you with a guy…I just want to rip his head off for touching you, for looking at you, for being close to you when I can’t. The guy from the Tucson game? I’ve never played that aggressively before. All I wanted to do was take him down. You’re driving me crazy, and I’ve never been so jealous of anyone in my life.” I paused. “I need you to let him go, Zoe. Whatever it is that’s going on between you two, I don’t want to know. Just…I need you to choose me now. I’m the one that’s supposed to be with you, not anyone else.”

Her back still flushed to my chest, she shifted in my arms enough to look up at me. “Dylan,” she whispered, and I watched her lips move, her tongue sneaking out to wet them. “You don’t understa—”