The Hardest Fall

I heard her whisper my name and I lost it. Suddenly, I couldn’t get air in fast enough. I couldn’t bring her close enough, couldn’t slow down my heartbeat enough.

“Zoe.” I moaned when I was on the verge of crushing her. “Zoe.”

We stayed under the water, just like that, holding tight, for God knows how long. I could’ve stayed locked to her for the rest of my life, but I knew I had to force myself to let her go. I wanted to believe she was just as reluctant to leave my arms.

“Let’s get you out of these,” I murmured finally.

Piece by piece, I took off her clothing until nothing but her underwear was left, and she let me, holding my shoulders when I bent down to shimmy her jeans off.

We were both a mess, but she was beautiful. Even with all her hair plastered against her cheeks, dripping wet, eyes red, she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.

When her fingers hesitantly reached for my sweatpants after giving me a quick look, I let her pull them down and stepped out of them myself. Thankfully she didn’t reach for my boxers, but I knew she’d noticed the bulge. Biting her lip, she looked up at me shyly. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks so I reached up and pushed it away until all I could feel was her warm skin against my palms.

“You scared the shit out of me, Zoe,” I rasped out before gently kissing her cheeks as hot water rained down on us. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. Don’t you ever put yourself in danger like that.” Because of the way I was holding on to her, she barely managed to nod. Breathing hard, I rested my forehead against hers, closed my eyes, and listened to her breathe. I just needed one more minute to hold her in my arms, breathe her in, and calm myself down, and then I could be whoever she needed me to be—her roommate? Her friend? Her everything?

By then, I already knew I was not just her roommate, not just her friend, not just a buddy.

Leaning back, I looked at her throat, at the bruises already forming ugly shapes. I breathed in through my nose and let it all out through my mouth. If I could’ve gotten my hands on the guy right then, I would’ve done more damage. I would’ve broken his neck, and it still wouldn’t have been enough. Gently, as gently as possible, I traced her bruises with the tips of my fingers. I knew Zoe’s eyes were on me, studying, watching, seeing, but I couldn’t look at her, not yet. I traced every single bruise, and then every inch of her neck not marred by his touch. I took my time and she let me. Every now and then I’d hear a small gasp escape her mouth and I’d meet her eyes to make sure she was okay. When I knew she was, I’d pick up where I’d left off. Before I was done, she reached for my hand and stopped me. Curling my fingers, she leaned down and kissed my reddened knuckles. My breathing labored, I could do nothing but hug her to me.

Eventually the water started running cold, so I loosened my arms around her and let her go. My muscles screamed at me. “We need to get you out of here or you’re gonna get sick,” I mumbled, turning the water off. She still hadn’t spoken a word to me.

I stepped out before her, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around my waist. I knew I’d have to take care of my boxer briefs before I left the bathroom, but right then, taking care of Zoe was all that mattered. Reaching for another towel, I held it open and she stepped out of the tub, into my arms again.

I wrapped it around her and rested my chin on her head, trying to warm her up through the towel.

Turning her head, she rested her cheek against my naked chest. “Thank you, Dylan,” she whispered, her voice tugging at my heart.

“Always, baby.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Zoe

I felt like I was just waking up from a coma, not sure where I was, what time it was, what day. I rubbed at my eyes and groaned when I finally got a look at the time on my phone. I hadn’t slept for a few days, just six hours. At least I slept at all, I thought.

I wished I could say I didn’t remember anything from what had happened, that it had just been a bad nightmare, but I did. I did remember, and it made me feel sick to my stomach all over again. I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat and threw my legs over the side of the bed. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and thanks to the light still coming off my phone, I realized there were no lights coming in under my door. Just as I could remember everything that had happened early in the morning, I could also remember Dylan carrying me to my bed after he helped me out of the shower and holding me as I cried myself to sleep.

I checked my phone again and noticed a new text message that had come in at nine.

Dylan: I had to leave for work. I’m sorry, Zoe. After bailing on Jimmy yesterday, I couldn’t skip today’s shift, and I needed the hours. Let me know when you wake up, call or text me.

Bailing on Jimmy…? Had he skipped work the night before because of me? He said he needed the hours, which meant he needed the money. God, he needed the money, and because I’d fled after seeing him with another girl, he hadn’t gone to work. I felt awful, like a little shithead who had gotten jealous over nothing when he… I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. It was a little past one AM; was he still not back?

I pushed myself off the bed and felt a little dizzy, so I had to stand still for several seconds before I felt steady enough to move. The entire apartment was dark. Being as quiet as possible, I tried Dylan’s room after I made sure he wasn’t in the living room and prayed I’d find him there.

The moonlight streaming into the small room was enough for me to make out his still form lying on the narrow twin bed.

Something loosened inside of me. He was home. Tears rushed into my eyes and my throat closed up. Not even considering the fact that he probably needed his sleep after the crazy day we’d had, I crawled into his bed. There wasn’t enough space, but I thought there was just enough to make it work.

He jerked awake and his fingers closed around my upper arms before I could lie down.

“Zoe?” he croaked, sleep heavy in his voice, and then his grip loosened. “Are you okay?”

I would be, knew I’d be fine once I could feel his heartbeat and make sure he was real, make sure he was…everything that he was.

“I can’t sleep,” I whispered, my own voice sounding scratchy from all the crying I’d done. “And my head hurts a little.”

Obviously, it was a lie—not that I was hurting, but that I couldn’t sleep. Either way, I didn’t feel a single ounce of guilt for being a coward and not saying why I needed to be close to him. I just needed him to hold me in the dark where nothing could come between us—no secrets, no lies. I needed him to make me feel alive, and above all, I wanted to be with him, around him, near him…just with him, any way I could, simple as that.

I’d accepted the fact that no one would ever hug me like he’d hugged me in the shower, and I was fine with that; I’d just have to hold on to him stronger. No one would ever make me feel the things he so easily made me feel with just one of his teasing smiles, so why would I need anyone else? I didn’t care if half of me would have to dangle out of that twin bed because he was so big; I was getting in it, and that was that. Before I forced my way in next to him, Dylan shifted to his side and opened the covers.

A wordless invitation.

An offer for me to take the world.

I didn’t utter a single word. Facing away because otherwise I’d have to be right in his face, I lay down next to him and closed my eyes in relief. One of his arms went under my neck, the other slowly pulling the covers over us, and as the bed groaned under our weight, I shifted in place until my butt settled against his lower stomach. I stilled because even a very small, really tiny downward movement would bring me in contact with the thing between his legs, and I didn’t want him to think me being there was about that. I moved away until a third of my torso and my knees were dangling off the bed.