The Impact of You(23)
Author: Kendall Ryan

“Hey!” A scrawny blond guy yells when Jase comes through the door. “Adonis!” he says, lifting his glass in a mock salute.

“Adonis?” I ask Jase, trailing behind him to enter the apartment.

Jase chuckles and shakes his head. “Greek god.”

That’s right. Adonis was the Greek god for beauty. I can see that. He has a freakin’ eight pack for Pete’s sake. Not to mention that gorgeous face, piercing blue eyes and his perfectly styled hair that looks like he’d rolled out of bed after a sexy romp. But it’s funny to me that even his male friends are aware of his superior status and tease him about it.

He takes it good-naturedly – the look on his face is relaxed and amused. He leads me toward a round felt-lined poker table and toward the group of guys in the middle of a card game. He introduces me to Radar, the wide-smiling blond who called him Adonis; Dave, a shaggy-haired hippie type; Sal, an olive-skinned cutie with a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes; and Matt, a tall red-headed guy with the lightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. They all say hello, but it’s obvious we are interrupting their game.

We venture into the living room next, where a guy and girl are playing a video game and another girl sits sulking on the end of the sofa. Jase doesn’t introduce me, but I see them exchange a glance that’s anything but friendly. I sense they have a past, and as curious as I am, part of me doesn’t want to know. I’m already aware of Jase’s history with girls, but that doesn’t mean I want to sit there while a girl he’d slept with shoots daggers at us with her eyes.

I tug on his arm. “Can we get something to drink?”

“Sure.” Jase looks relieved to leave the awkwardness behind.

We stand in the kitchen sipping from bottles of beer while the question about who the bitter girl is in the other room remains unspoken on the tip of my tongue. Part of me just wants to ask him, but I hold it in. I’m not dating him and I’ve told him practically nothing about my past, so what gives me the right to pry?

Jase looks thoughtful, leaning against the counter like he wants to say something. “The answer to your question is yes,” he says finally.

“What question?”

“You’re wondering if I slept with that girl in there.”

Whoa. His honesty levels me. “And you did?”

He nods. “In high school.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He doesn’t owe me an explanation.

“Because I know you could sense something and I want to be honest with you.”

“Oh.” Honesty. What a concept.

“It was only once, drunkenly at a party. I think she was hoping it’d turn into something more.”

I study him, his navy blue eyes, his chiseled rough jawline dusted with light stubble. I can see how girls probably throw themselves at him, hoping it’ll turn into more. “But it didn’t?”

He shakes his head. “I was a dick back then. It was my senior year of high school, and I was getting ready to leave for college. I didn’t want to be tied down with a girlfriend; I wanted to play the field. And when she told me she’d always liked me, I assumed she’d be okay with one night…”

While I couldn’t relate to exactly what that girl had gone through, I did still know the string of rejection when the guy you’d given yourself to physically didn’t value it. “You should go talk to her. Apologize.”

Recognition crosses his features, but before he can answer, Radar comes strolling into the kitchen. He and Jase share a bro hug – the kind that comes with a hand shake and then a couple of loud pats across the back. Then Radar turns to me.

“Welcome to Radar’s love palace.” His hands sweep out in front of him, indicating a tiny messy kitchen, and dim, sparsely furnished apartment beyond. If he believes this is a love palace, I’m certain Radar hasn’t seen any action in quite some time.

“Dumbass.” Jase playfully shoves his friend on the shoulder. “Keep an eye on Avery for a minute. I’m going to talk to Lauren.”

Radar nods. “Sure thing, boss.”

I don’t know what might come of it, but I am proud of Jase for at least trying to make amends with the girl.

Radar grabs a fresh beer from the fridge before surveying me up and down with a smile. “Jase must be pretty serious about you. He’s never brought a girl home for the weekend before.”

I flush pink. “Oh no, we’re just friends.”

Radar laughs, a dimple appearing next to his mouth as his smile widens. “Trust me. He wants to be more.”

I want to dispute it, but I wonder if Radar could be right. I’m not sure what’s going on between me and Jase, only that I like where it’s headed.

Jase

Avery is quiet on the ride back to my mom’s. She spends the drive flipping through the radio stations. I can tell there’s something going on inside her head, but I don’t pressure her. I know she isn’t quite there yet with me, I know she’s getting closer to letting me in. Especially after I’d manned up tonight and apologized to Lauren.

Avery and I didn’t stay long at Radar’s after my conversation with Lauren. It started off awkward, but as soon as I’d uttered the words I’m sorry, her shoulders dropped and she’d instantly relaxed around me. After that, the words just came to me. I told her how I’d used girls as a distraction to escape my home life, and she admitted she learned girls can’t trap guys into a relationship simply by getting physical. We talked for about fifteen minutes, each of us more comfortable and relieved by the end of the conversation. I knew things wouldn’t be awkward if I ran into her again. The whole experience was a revelation.

Afterwards, I found Avery and Radar where I’d left them in the kitchen, laughing over a story he was telling her. We stayed a little longer, visiting with the guys before calling it a night. The mood changed after my conversation with Lauren, and plus I didn’t mind leaving early because the thought of being alone with Avery appealed to me more.

The house is dark and quiet, but I can navigate my way in the dark, so I place a hand on Avery’s lower back and guide her to the stairs. Once we’re on the landing, I walk her to the door to the guest room and stop, rather than bringing her to my room like I really want to do.

She isn’t mine, and last night I probably pushed things too far. And sensing Avery’s quiet, contemplative mood on the drive home, I stand silently with her at the door to the guest bedroom.