The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood #12)(47)
Author: J.R. Ward

“I’m fine.”

Okay, I won’t press. But here.

“Huh?” He answered her question by passing over a white handkerchief. “Why do I need—”

Fantastic. She’d started tearing up.

Really, truly fantastic.

As she blotted away tears she hadn’t been aware of crying, she shook her head and let it all fly: “I want a baby.”

Holy crap … that’s awesome, her brother signed. That’s—

“A nightmare, actually. Wrath’s a no-go.”

Oh, her brother mouthed.

“Yeah. Pretty much. And I found out right before we left.”

My God, you shouldn’t have come.

“I needed to get out of that house. And I wanted to help you.”

Well … Wrath’s probably just worried about you. It’s a scary thing for females. At this, his face got tight. I mean, Xhex isn’t into kids, and I gotta tell you, I’m relieved.

Twisting the cotton square in her hands, she let her head fall back against the rest. “But if I’m willing to assume the risks, I feel like he should go along with it. And by the way, it wasn’t like he laid his argument out in terms of being worried for my health. It was just, ‘I’m not servicing you.’ Period.”

John whistled under his breath.

“I know. Not our best moment.” She glanced back over at her brother. “I envy you and Xhex so much. You guys are so in sync.”

Ha! You should have seen us a year ago. John shrugged. I didn’t think we were going to make it.

“Really?”

Shit, yeah. She wanted to go out to fight, and like, that was fine with me—until it really dawned on me that she could get hurt. He circled his hand next to his brain. Fucked my head up bad. I mean, as a male, your woman is your thing in a way I don’t think you females can appreciate. When it comes to Xhex, I am literally not in control of my emotions, my thoughts, my actions as they relate to her safety. It’s a kind of psychosis.

When she didn’t respond, he touched her arm to make sure she was paying attention. Sounds a lot like what you and Wrath are dealing with. Yeah, you can be all, ‘It’s about a kid,’ but given the mortality rates for females? In his mind, it’s probably about your survival—and he’s picking that over any kind of son or daughter.

God, maybe it made her a bitch, but … she really didn’t want to see Wrath’s side of things. Especially not spelled out so rationally—assuming that was, in fact, how her man felt.

She was still too hurt and angry.

“Okay, fine, maybe that’s all true. But let me ask you a question—would you ever deny Xhex a child if she wanted one?” When he didn’t answer, Beth said, “See? You wouldn’t.”

Technically, I didn’t reply.

“It’s in your face.”

Yeah, but, it’s easy for me to be all like, whatever—because she doesn’t want one. Maybe I’d feel differently if she did. The risks are real, and there’s only so much medical management can do.

“I still say it’s my body, my decision.”

But you’re his primary concern. So he does get a vote.

“A vote’s one thing. The royal veto’s another.” She shook her head again. “Besides, if you’re able to articulate the position of a bonded male? So should he. He doesn’t get a pass just because he’s the King.” As sound bites came back from the confrontation, she got nauseous. “His solution is to drug me. Like I’m some kind of animal. I just … I don’t know if I can get over this.”

Maybe you should take a break. Like … get away until you aren’t so pissed off. Then come back and talk it out.

She put her hand on her stomach, and as she measured the fat padding that was now there, she felt so damned dumb for sitting on her ass eating ice cream with Layla. She wasn’t any closer to her needing—whenever, if ever, that came, it was clearly going to be on its own schedule. All she’d done was make her pants tight and drive a wedge between herself and her husband.

In the words of Dr. Phil, How’s that working for ya?

Great, Phil. Just awesome.

Hell, maybe she should watch OWN more often. Dr. Phil reruns were on for, like, five hours every morning, Monday through Friday. Surely he’d done a show on couples who disagreed over the baby thing.

Why don’t you go stay at our father’s house, John signed.

She thought of the mansion. “Yeah, no. I don’t want to even think about that place.”

As if on cue, images of her and Wrath from back in the beginning hit her hard—especially the memory of their first official date. God, things had been so perfect back then, the two of them falling in love so easily. Wrath had had her over to the house and dressed in a Brooks Brothers suit for the one and only time in their relationship. They’d sat at the dining room table and Fritz had waited on them.

That’s when Wrath had told her she tasted like—

With a groan, she put her head in her hands and tried to breathe calmly. Didn’t work. Her brain seemed to have the mental equivalent of an arrhythmia, thoughts and memories from the happy past and worries about the grim future mixing into a jumpy, jerky mess.

The only thing she was clear on?

John was right. She couldn’t go back home yet: The instant she saw Wrath, she was going to light into him, and that was going to get them nowhere.

God knew they’d already had that conversation once. A repeat was just going to make things harder.

“Okay,” she heard herself say. “All right. But I need something to eat first.”

It’s a deal, John signed.

SIXTEEN

As Wrath took form by the race’s clinic, he sensed Vishous materializing beside him—and resented the fact that he was required to have a f**king babysitter. But at least V’s medical knowledge was going to be a value add.

“Fifteen feet straight ahead,” his brother announced. “Four feet of cleared pavement in front of you. Then it’s snow-covered ground.”

Wrath threw out one stride and hit hard asphalt. With his next step forward, the snow absorbed his shitkicker.

There was no bringing George to this. Blindness was not a virtue in times of peace for a ruler. During war? It was a critical weakness—and nothing said lights-out better than a Seeing Eye service dog.

Naturally, the retriever had been apoplectic at being left behind—but with Beth already pissed off at him, of course he’d had to alienate his damn dog. Next thing to work on? The Brotherhood. Although that set of hardheaded motherfuckers was too tenacious to be put off by anything less than an H-bomb.