The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood #12)(61)
Author: J.R. Ward

“Breather as in?”

“He was asleep.”

Beth felt her jaw hinge loosen. “Asleep?”

“Yeah. He was resting.”

“Really.”

Here she was, putting herself through the wringer, confused about what to think and feel, running their entire relationship backwards and forwards, planning conversations, tying herself in knots. Meanwhile, he was just, you know, pulling a siesta.

“Well, that’s great,” she heard herself say. “I’m really happy for him.”

“Beth—”

“Look, I have to go.” Yup, she was busy, busy, busy. “If he wakes up, tell him…”

No, not that she’d called. Men weren’t the only ones allowed to keep their pride; women didn’t have to be the “weaker sex.”

“Actually, I’ll tell him myself. I’ll be at my dad’s, cleaning things up today.” Yeah, ’cuz the house was such a mess. “But I’ll be back at nightfall.”

The honest relief coming through the line was striking. “Oh, that’s good news. I’m really glad.”

“Okay, well…” Somehow she couldn’t bring herself to hang up.

“Beth? You still there?”

“Yeah. I am.” She found herself rubbing her thigh up and down. “Listen, can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Please.”

After all, Wellsie and Tohr had had their arguments—some of which Beth had heard firsthand back before the beautiful redhead had been taken way too soon. Man, Wellsie had been unafraid to say exactly what she thought to anyone, including her hellren. She was never a hothead without a good reason, of course, but you hadn’t necessarily wanted to cross her if you didn’t have to.

People had respected her.

What did they think of me, Beth wondered.

“Beth?”

Certainly if there was anyone who could help her with Wrath, and keep it on the DL, it was Tohr. In fact, he was the one who usually got sent in when people needed help with their King.

“Beth, what’s going on?”

Opening her mouth, she intended to vent, but there was one problem: The person she needed to talk to was Wrath. Anyone else was just filler.

“Do you still root for the monster?”

There was a pause. And then the Brother laughed in his trademark baritone. “Are you telling me there’s another Godzilla marathon on?”

Beth was glad she was alone. Because she had a feeling the smile she was sporting was sadder than any tears.

She just wanted to go back to when things had been simpler. Easier. Closer.

“Just thinking about the good ol’ days,” she blurted.

Instantly, Tohr’s tone tightened. “Yeah. They were … good.”

Oh, shit. Even though he was in love with and mated to Autumn, it had to hurt to remember his first wife … and the baby she’d been carrying.

“I’m sorry, I—”

He recovered quicker than she did. “Don’t feel bad at all. The past is what it is—good and bad, it’s written and unchanging. And there’s solace to be had in that.”

Tears pricked her eyes. “What do you mean?”

There was a long pause. “The good parts are more luminous because you can trust them. And the bad parts can’t get any more tragic for precisely the same reason. The past is safe because it is indelible.”

Abruptly, she thought again of that first date she and Wrath had had upstairs. As much as hindsight painted it all with a rosy glow, that hadn’t been exactly right, had it.

Come to think of it, he’d been angry when she’d first arrived that night. To the point where halfway through the four courses, she’d considered leaving.

Hardly the all-perfect that nostalgia repainted it as.

“You’re right, Tohr.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “You know, it’s not too late. You can still come back if you leave now.”

“I don’t have to worry about the sun, remember.”

She could practically feel his shudder through her cell phone. “I got nothing to say to that. I really don’t.”

Taking pity on him, she changed the subject by promising to take care of herself and come home at nightfall.

After hanging up, she stretched out on her father’s bed. Staring at the ceiling, she imagined Darius having done the same thing during the day—sometimes with Wrath right across the hall in the other chamber.

Wrath had been a real recluse before meeting her. He’d fought alone, slept alone, and most certainly had nothing to do with the whole throne thing: Until he’d mated her, he’d refused to rule.

She couldn’t count the number of times people had thanked her for bringing him around—like her love was some magic potion that had turned a beast into … well, if not a completely civilized kind of guy, at least someone who was willing to live up to his responsibilities.

Had he really just gone for a snooze?

Then again, when was the last time he’d actually slept through the day? Not since before he’d been shot at.

Just before her eyes fluttered shut, she sat herself up and turned to the security alarm pad that was mounted by her head. Punching the proper code in, she armed things and then got horizontal again.

The eight-digit set of numbers? Her birth date, month, day, and year.

Another example of how, way before she had come into this vampire world, her father had been thinking of her: V might have been the one to install the state-of-the-art equipment and keep it all up-to-date, but Darius had chosen the code years ago.

Reaching over and clicking the light off, she resettled on top of the duvet.

Moments later, she was back at the lamp, turning it on again.

When you were without your husband, perfectly safe was relative.

TWENTY-TWO

Sola couldn’t remember ever being so cold.

Wrapped up in a sleeping bag, with heating vents pile-driving BTUs into her face, she couldn’t stop shivering in the back of the Range Rover.

Then again, there were a half dozen good reasons to be in shock, the kind that started with your head and put your body in a numb deep freeze.

Shifting her position, her thigh let out a scream—reminding her that there was also a physical imperative at work. How much blood had she lost?

“We are almost there.”

Her head turned at the sound of that accented voice. Even though there was almost no light in the SUV, she could picture Assail’s face as if it were spotlit: deeply set eyes the color of moonlight, slashing dark brows, full lips, hard jaw. The widow’s peak and the jet-black hair.