The Last Boyfriend (Forever Love #1)(45)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“Oh wow.”

“She still loved him, but she didn’t want to give up her career so she told him to move on. He couldn’t take it. The pain was too much for him. He never understood why they couldn’t be together when they were still in love.”

“That must have been a hard decision for her to make.”

“She regrets it every day of her life.” Zane sighed. “But it’s not her fault. It’s Braydon’s. Noah never did hard drugs. He only used to smoke some weed, but Braydon got him hooked. He was with Noah the night that he died.”

“He was?” I was shocked, but it seemed to make sense. “Why didn’t he get arrested?”

“The police had nothing on him. He told them that he had no idea Braydon was on drugs. I knew, of course, I found out a few weeks before Noah died that he was on something and I confronted him. We had a big fight, and he went and moved in with Braydon. I was going to go ask him to come back, but my pride got in the way and then it was too late.”

“Oh Zane, I’m so sorry.” Tears streamed down my face, and I wiped them away quickly. “My heart aches for you.”

“I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. I don’t want to keep my feelings to myself with you, Lucky.” He took a deep breath. “Shit, this is hard. I really like you. Like, really like you. And I don’t want to let that go. I think we could have something. I know this is coming from nowhere and I know I can be crazy and moody and schizophrenic, but I want you to give me another chance. I want us to start again. I want to see if I can be the guy you have been waiting for. Will you let us start again?”

“Oh Zane.” I stared at his face and I wondered how I had never noticed the fear in his eyes before. I’d always thought he was so strong and hard, but he was a human being, just like me, he had fears and worries just like me.

“Answer me, Lucky.” He grasped my hands tighter. “Please.”

“When I lost my parents, I thought my world had caved in on me. And then a few weeks later, my boyfriend dumped me. And then I knew that was it. I knew the world was about to end. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sleep. I never wanted to feel again. My life became perfunctory. I protected my heart. And I was happy with that. I wanted to make sure that the next guy I dated was the last guy I dated. I knew that my heart couldn’t take one more heartbreak, and I didn’t want to sleep around. But then you started coming into the diner, and all I could think about was what it would be like to date you, to make love to you, to be the girl with you on that date.”

“About the dates, Lucky.” Zane interjected.

“Wait. Let me finish.” I smiled tenderly. “When I saw you at the party and we talked, all I wanted was to get to know you better. I wanted to talk to you all night long. And then I saw you with Angelique. I was jealous and I wanted to scream. And I think that was when I kind of knew I liked you as more than the guy who came into the diner a lot.”

“You did?” He smiled hopefully.

“And then my car broke down and you came swooping in like I was some damsel in distress, and you irritated the shit out of me. Yet, I kind of liked that you were there to take care of me.”

“I always want to take care of you, Lucky.”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” I shook my head. “I’m strong, Zane. That’s what I want you to understand. I broke my rules to be with you, even though I knew it could all end with me having a broken heart. But I was okay with that because I know I’m strong enough to handle it. I would rather have a month, or a week, or even a day with you than no time at all. There is something about you that makes my heart soar. I’m addicted to you. Your smell drives me crazy. Your kisses make me wild. And your smile makes me believe in angels. I don’t need a promise of tomorrow when I’m with you, because today is all that matters.”

“I want to be able to give you a promise of tomorrow, Lucky. I want to give you everything you deserve. You’re stronger than me. You’re more open than me.” His voice cracked. “I don’t want to promise anything I can’t give you.”

“I don’t want you to promise me anything you can’t give, Zane.” There were tears in my eyes. “I just want you to give us a fair chance.”

“Lucky, I haven’t dated in years. I think that shows you I’m all about giving us a fair chance.”

“You haven’t dated in years?” I laughed and looked at him like he was crazy.

“Those girls I took to the diner, well you were right. They were all Braydon’s exes. I went out with all of them because I was trying to get information out of them. I wanted them to incriminate Braydon as a drug dealer so that I could have enough proof to get him prosecuted.”

“Oh.”

“They weren’t real dates, Lucky. They meant nothing to me. The only girl I could look at every time I went to Lou’s was you.”

“But who was the girl that broke your heart?” I asked him, with my heart in my mouth.

“The girl that broke my heart?” He frowned.

“The one you told me about the other day.”

“Wait, oh, hahaha.” He started laughing. “That was Lily Chen, she was my first grade girlfriend. I thought she was going to be my ninja warrior princess, but all she really cared about were Barbies and Legos. She dumped me when I refused to play Barbie goes shopping. She broke my heart for a week, and after that, I realized that love wasn’t worth it.”

“Oh Zane.” I laughed and shook my head.

“I’m f**ked up. Lucky. I’m really f**ked up. I don’t know that I ever really got over my mother leaving us behind.”

“Oh Zane.” I brought him in close to me. “No child can comprehend and get over their mother leaving. No adult either. You’re not f**ked up, my dear. You’re hurt, you’re broken, and you’re rejected. But she didn’t leave you, Zane. I swear to God, that she didn’t leave you because you were unlovable. She didn’t leave you because she didn’t want you. I know there had to have been other reasons. There is no way that she left because of you.”

“I don’t understand why she didn’t love me enough to stay. I don’t understand why she didn’t deal with my father for me and for Noah. Why didn’t she love us enough to try and work out something? She just left us, Lucky. I can’t get over that. I don’t know why I was so unlovable. It was just me and Noah.” Zane sobbed in my arms. “It was me and Noah, and I held it together for him. I wanted to be strong for him. It was he and me against the world and we could do anything. But then he went and got his heart broken and he couldn’t cope. He couldn’t cope and there was nothing I could do to fix him. There was nothing I could say to make it all right and I lost him. I lost him just like that. It was he and me against the world, and he defected. He moved to Braydon’s and I never saw him alive again.”