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The Moon and More

The Moon and More(98)
Author: Sarah Dessen

My first semester at East U was a classic example. Even though it was only two hours from Colby, it was a different world. The campus was large, based on the edge of a city easily twice the size of Cape Frost, and I shared a dorm suite with three other girls. They were all nice and we got along fine, but I still found the training my mom and sisters had given me in my old room came in awfully handy when it came to our shared space. Despite my assumptions that it would be otherwise, no one else from my high school had ended up in my dorm or in any of my classes, which was both exciting and frightening all at once. No one had known me since kindergarten, so I could be anything or anyone. But no one had known me since kindergarten, so no one knew me, period.

Okay, maybe not no one. There was Luke, whose dorm was right down the block. He’d been a great comfort during those first, fierce days of homesickness, just as he had the night Benji ran off.

After my father and Benji went back to North Reddemane, Luke had driven me to the Pavilion, where I was able to catch the tail end of the party. He stayed, helping us clean up, and even went along when Ivy, a bit loopy on white wine and in a celebratory mood, insisted we all go dancing at Tallyho. There, she and Amber hit the floor together, with Morris and Daisy in tow, while I sat off to the side, nursing my blistered feet and a soda water.

“Thank you,” I said to Luke, who was beside me, a watered-down beer in his hand.

“For what?” he asked.

“Helping with Benji, doing all this,” I said, waving my hand.

He looked at me over the rim of his cup. “Don’t thank me for Tallyho. Remember what happened earlier this summer.”

“Oh, right.” I put my hand over my mouth. “Sorry.”

He made a face, sipping on his beer again. Out on the floor, Ivy was dancing with some sweaty guy in a tight red T-shirt, her head thrown back. Whoa.

“I was surprised to see you tonight, at the rental office,” I said to Luke after a moment. “I thought you had plans.”

“I did,” he said.

“Oh. What happened?’

He looked at me. “Emaline. I was driving by and saw you in a total panic. Like I wasn’t going to immediately stop and help you. Come on.”

“Sorry,” I said. He sat back. “No really, I am. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

“You didn’t,” he assured me. “But I probably ruined someone else’s.”

I didn’t know what to say to this. I sat there for a moment, watching everyone on the floor, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. Just as I was thinking how his skin tasted salty, familiar, he pulled away.

“Don’t do that,” he said. Not in a mean way, but firm. “Really. It’s just going to complicate things.”

“Okay,” I said immediately. “I get it.”

“Do you?” He turned to face me. “Because when it comes to you, Emaline, there can’t be any halfway with me. And as far as I know you still have a boyfriend.”

“We just broke up.”

“We just broke up,” he added. He looked down at his cup, then at me. “My point is, I don’t want any more weirdness between us. Which means, honestly, not having anything between us. At least not now. All right?”

It was all right, strangely enough. In fact, it was just what I needed. Luke had been my love, but he’d also been my friend. That, despite everything, had not changed, even when I thought otherwise. We’d seen each other quite a bit over the remaining days of summer, and I was happy to just hang out, not worrying about what came next for us at East U. I truly believed that if we were meant to be, we would be. And there was no better way than jumping into a pool of thousands of strangers to find that out.

“This is it,” I said to Benji now, as I spotted the gallery, a gray banner reading CLYDE CONAWAY: COLLECTED WORKS fluttering out front. Inside, it was bright and warm looking, people milling around. Seeing the paintings, the only thing familiar in this big foreign place, was like a comfort to me.

“Emaline!” Ivy called out as soon as we came in. She was in her classic black, skirt and top, her hair pulled back tight at her neck. Despite the city armor, I would always think of her that night at Tallyho, grinding with the guy in the T-shirt. Some things never leave you. “You made it!”

“Barely,” I told her, as she hugged me, then Benji. “This place is so confusing.”

“What? New York is the easiest city to navigate in the world. It’s a grid, for God’s sake.”

“I just don’t like not knowing where I am,” I told her.

“Oh, God, no. Who does?” She took a sip of her drink, glancing around. “Let’s look for Clyde. I know he is dying to see you guys.”

We found him holding court in the back of the gallery, in front of one of the beach grass details. He had on a nice shirt and tie . . . and a Finz ball cap, well worn. When he saw me, he grinned. “There she is,” he said. “My Colby girl.”

“Like a fish out of water here,” I said, hugging him.

“That makes two of us,” he told me. “Have you seen my assistant yet?”

I bit my lip. “No. Not yet.”

“Why do you look so nervous?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging and glancing around. “It’s still so, kind of weird. You know how I feel about him.”

“I do,” he assured me, waving at someone over my shoulder. “And it’s fine.”

The room was getting warmer as more people came in. Outside, the night was falling, cabs and cars passing with their lights on. It was pretty, I had to admit.

“New York during the holidays,” Ivy said from beside me, looking out the window as well. “Nothing better.”

“Except the beach in the fall,” I replied. “Or anytime.”

She made a face at me. “Just you wait. I’ll make you a city lover yet.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

“Oh, I am. When you get here in May, it’ll be a whole new, wonderful world. Museums, theater, great food!” She sighed and took a sip of her wine. “Of course, you’ll be working for me way too hard to actually enjoy any of that. But still, nice to know it’s there.”

“I’m not afraid to work,” I told her.

“I know it. That’s why you already have the job.”

I smiled. All that hustling back in August had paid off, and not just with the hefty check Ivy had written me the day she left. She’d also extended the offer of employment the following summer, working for her here. It, too, was a new and scary prospect, which was just why I’d taken it. I would miss Colby, but it wasn’t going anywhere. All the more reason why I should.

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