The Spectacular Now

She laughs.

It’s weird. Our relationship is doing this surreal metamorphosis right in front of my eyes. The old feelings for each other aren’t completely gone, but they seem to be slipping further and further away. That’s okay, I tell myself. I’m with Aimee for now. Cassidy’s just another ex-girlfriend. All right, maybe she’s really more like some kind of new, mutant, never-seen-before type of friend, but she is just a friend.

That’s good, I tell myself. It’s really, really a good fit. We can talk about anything, and there aren’t all the little booby traps to avoid like when you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes, I tell myself, this will work out great.

But somehow after leaving her house that afternoon, I’m hit with this big fat urge to get gloriously, panoramically ripped.

Chapter 48

So, the prom’s barreling straight my way at full speed, out of control with the high beams on. No worries, though. I have a plan. I envision a perfect replica of a Dean Martin tuxedo and a long white limo. Of course, I’ll need someone to chip in on the limo, so I go straight to Ricky.

“Sorry, dude,” he says. “No can do. Bethany’s already made arrangements for us to split a limo with Tara and Brian Roush.”

“Roush? You’re splitting a limo with Roush?”

“Yeah, he asked Tara to the prom, and you know how tight Bethany and Tara are. See, that could’ve been you riding high and tight in our limo if you’d started dating Tara like I told you to.”

“Well, still, if we get a stretch limo, I’m sure three couples can fit in there, easy.”

He grimaces.

“What?”

“Yeah, um, it’s just that you aren’t exactly Bethany’s favorite guy.”

“Me? What’s she got against me? I thought you just said I’d be in your limo if I was dating Tara.”

“That’s right. If you were dating Tara. As it is, I think she’s afraid you might be a little, um, too wild for her taste.”

“Wild? I’m not wild. I’m fun.”

“Okay. Then I guess she thinks you’re a little too fun for her taste.”

That’s that. No limo with Ricky. What happened to loyalty in this world? After all, who got Ricky and Bethany together in the first place?

Not being one to give up easily, I hit Cody Dennis with the idea, but of course, he’s too scared to even ask a girl to the prom. In fact, he’s too scared to have me ask a girl to the prom for him.

Then I come up with a truly fabulous solution. Why not finally cash in on the idea of a double date with Cassidy and Marcus? They probably need a little spark of fun in their evening. This requires a delicate touch, though. Sure, Marcus is okay with Cassidy and me hanging out as friends now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be so gung ho about me tagging along to the prom with them. No, the way to show them the beauty of the proposition is to first pitch the simple idea of a double date to the movies. Once they see how much fun we are as a foursome, the prom date will be a cinch.

Cassidy thinks it’s a stroke of genius, and Marcus goes along with her, but you can tell he’s not exactly a tsunami of enthusiasm. So that Saturday, off we go to a restaurant and then to see Lovestruck Fool at the cineplex in Bricktown. To me, everything goes super-stupendously, except maybe for after the movie when Aimee accidentally drops the vodka bottle out of her purse and it shatters on the foyer floor. That kind of thing is simply funny to me, but not everybody has the same fully developed sense of humor. Marcus actually looks askance at us. That’s right, askance.

So, the next day I call Cassidy—she’s on her cell while delivering meals to elderly shut-ins with Marcus—and I pitch her the prom scheme, only to find out they already have plans to rent a limo with some of his buddies and their dates.

I’m like, “But we had so much fun at the movies. We’re a stellar foursome.”

And she’s, “I’m sorry but our plans are all set. I mean, what did you expect, Sutter? The prom’s this weekend. Everyone already has plans. You probably can’t even get a limo by now.”

“Well, I guess that means I should probably go order my tux tomorrow.”

“What? You haven’t even ordered your tux?”

“Hey, I was thinking about waiting till the day of the prom.”

“Sutter, you’d better not mess up this prom for Aimee. This is a big deal for a girl.”

“Don’t worry,” I tell her, all nonchalant. “Everything’s cool. The stars are in perfect alignment for a fantabulous time. All I have to do is let things fall into place.”

Chapter 49

Things do fall into place. Mostly. There’s absolutely no problem in finding the perfect Dean Martin tux. The cost of renting a limo by myself is way too steep, but so what if I have to take my own car? Do you think I’d ask Geech to borrow his Cadillac? Not in a million years. No, the Mitsubishi will do just fine.

There’s just one thing left—Aimee has to figure out a way to get out of throwing the paper route the morning after the prom. She asks me to be there with her when she confronts her mom, but I’m like, “No way. This is something you have to do on your own. You have to stand up to her. How else do you think you’re ever going to break away from her and go to school in St. Louis?”

To tell the truth, I don’t know how she’s handled the paper route this long. We’ve partied pretty hard, and still she gets up in the morning to throw that route. I really intended to go with her more often than that one time when I spent the night at her house, but I kept forgetting to set the alarm, which could happen to anybody. You can’t blame me for that.