The Tied Man

Thanks to Nat, each of her special friends would have their own handcrafted nightmare waiting for them on their doorstep; every dirty little secret laid bare to the world, from assaults and endless galleries of child porn to tax fraud and insider trading.  And then there was Blaine herself, who would possibly need an entirely separate, alphabetised and indexed charge sheet by the time the courts had finished with her.  I knew that sometime in my undefined future, there would be statements and trials that would come from this and I would have to unpack all the shit again, but Lilith would be with me.  I would get through.  All would be well.

Just before I disappeared up my own arse,  Gabriel produced the largest spliff I’d ever seen and lit it from the stove top.  ‘I was saving it for a special occasion.  First go, old chap?’ he asked me, and moved up another step in my estimation.  I took the deepest draw I could manage, and felt the pain in my knee recede like the tide.

‘That all right?’

I nodded and held my breath for as long as I could manage, then exhaled slowly so that the smoke formed pale blue rings that drifted softly to the ceiling.

‘Impressive.’ Gabriel took the blunt from me, just as Ed returned to the kitchen.

‘Bloody hell, Benson and Hedges are making ‘em bigger these days,’ Ed said as Gabriel attempted to hide the evidence under the table.  He turned to Lilith and me.  ‘Right then. Her Ladyship’s  on her way to the front door.  You sure you still want to do this?’

Lilith was already on her feet. ‘Yes,’ she said, before I had chance to think better of it.  My mouth went dry, and I wondered if I’d manage to speak at all.  I wished I’d kept hold of the spliff.

*****

A young female officer brought Blaine up from the wine cellar, and to my utter joy the bitch was plasticuffed and looked as rough as shite;  I reckoned a night spent with a few hundred dusty bottles and at least a dozen big bastard spiders would do that to a woman.  Her beautifully coiffed hair had collapsed and hung in rats’ tails around her face, and her make-up had run and collected in the lines around her mouth and eyes.  For the first time since I’d met her, she truly looked her age.

‘Once I’ve spoken to my lawyer, I’ll consider speaking to you.  Or at least one of your senior officers,’ Blaine said to Ed, and went to walk straight past us without a glance.  My worry about being able to speak vanished as I realised I had to wipe that bloody imperious, shit-eating look off her face.

‘Ah, that’ll be Nicholas Van der Lande Q.C, will it? Member of the Inner Temple, charming wife, unbearably cute kids, and a liking for snorting a few lines off an underage Lithuanian’s arse, with the photos to prove it?  That lawyer?’  That stopped her pretty fucking sharpish.  I took a quick drag of my cigarette so I had sufficient ash to tap onto the rug. ‘I think you’ll find he’s a wee bit busy this fine morning.  Have you considered legal aid?’

And with that, I knew I was done with her. Everything else I’d ever wanted to say no longer mattered, because from the look in her eyes she knew.  Knew where that information was hidden, and knew what else was hidden with it.  I could pass out now, or even just puke on her shoes, and it wouldn’t matter.  Maybe even try both at the same time.  I’d done it.  I watched her struggle to find her composure, or even just enough breath to speak.

‘Oh, this is possibly the most foolish mistake you’ve ever made, Lilith.’ Blaine said, without even glancing sideways at me.

In response to this barely-veiled threat, Lilith gave Blaine an apologetic shrug and smiled.  ‘What can I say? My computer geek is better than your computer geek.’

‘All of this effort, just for him?  Do you have any idea just how broken he actually is? You disgust me, Lilith. You’re taking in a stray dog that’ll bite you as soon as look at you,’ Blaine spat.  ‘So, is your little moment of misplaced triumph over now?  Because I’m quite bored with it already.’

‘Not quite.’  Lilith strolled over to where the portrait now stood, still covered in its sheet and propped up against the dining table.  ‘I’d hate you to miss the unveiling.  Happy birthday.’  She pulled the sheet away, and we waited for her patron’s response.

Blaine screamed.  The woman who could calmly inflict pain like a leading light in the Spanish Inquisition gave a screech of such despair that anyone listening might have thought Lilith had just smacked her one. Which in a way, she had.