The Tied Man

Before the landlord’s jaw had time to drop, I followed Finn and Henry out of the oppressive bar and into the hallowed ‘Private Room’ that was just a little larger than my Santa Marita bathroom.

‘That was amazing!’ Henry exclaimed as the dark oak door thudded behind us.  ‘I’ve never seen that old goat lost for words before.’ He sat down on a worn red velour banquette and gave me an impish smile.  ‘Vodka martini indeed.  I shall be drunk in charge of a boat if I’m not careful.’

Finn gave me a wry glance. ‘Way to keep a low profile, Lilith. Shovin’ more money at the fat oaf than he takes all week.’

I dumped the bags by our table. ‘I know, I know. And that thing about ‘Don’t antagonise the natives’.  Sorry.’

Finn threw his own collection of bags on top of mine.  A feeble excuse for a log fire smouldered to its death in a soot-encrusted hearth and he gravitated towards it.  ‘Ah, what the fuck.  Suppose it was only the fellas that know to keep their mouths shut anyway.  When it gets back to Blaine I’ll just say old lard-arse behind the bar started it.’

‘It will get back then?’

‘Oh yes,’ Finn and Henry replied in unison.

I saw Finn gingerly touch his shoulders.  ‘Right, wait here for mein host.  I’ll be back in five minutes.’

Finn

‘Where on earth is she going?’ Henry asked.

I shrugged and winced in one move.  ‘Ow.  Fuck knows.’

‘She was rather impressive, wasn’t she?’

‘She carries on like that, she’s going to get her head kicked in, and I’d rather I wasn’t there to witness it.’

Henry tutted. ‘She was defending you, Finn.  And there’s a distinct paucity of individuals who still have the necessary courage to do that.’ He began to rearrange the bags that I’d thrown in a heap.  ‘Myself included, to my chagrin.’

‘That’s because you know how Blaine’s world works.  And if she’d have stayed put for more than ten seconds, I could have given her the bollocking she deserved.’

‘Of course.’

‘And you’re not entirely forgiven for being a stupid twat last night, so don’t push it.’

Perhaps I should have been harder on her.  Re-emphasised the need to keep your head down and pretend you were invisible.  But back then it was too easy to believe that Lilith Bresson was immune to the sickness that Albermarle could cause, that she somehow held the secret of how a soul could pass through hell unscathed.  I know I was stupidly beginning to believe it myself.

‘What’s she then?  Some rich bitch who fancies slummin’ it?’ The landlord slammed down the tray with our drinks and lager slopped onto the table top.

‘Yeah, something like that.  S’why we came to this salubrious establishment.’

He gave a grunting laugh.  Funny.  You want me to make a quick call to Her Ladyship, lad?’

I remembered a time when it had shocked me that people whose names I didn’t even know would quite happily line me up for a battering.  ‘Not really.  You want me to tell Blaine that that’s how you were talking about one of her valued guests?’

‘Hmph.  Doesn’t look like anyone I recognise.  Thought they was meant to be famous before they was allowed to set foot in the hallowed halls,’ the landlord blustered, but I’d rattled him –  I wasn’t alone in my fear of Blaine’s wrath.  ‘Not that it’s any of my business.  People pay for their beer, they can drink where the fuck they like.  Now take these bloody glasses so I can have me tray back.’

He trudged out and I touched my glass to Henry’s.  ‘Cheers, little man.  To an interesting morning.’

Lilith

In the end, it took me fifteen minutes to get what I needed, but that was due to the stupid woman in front of me at the chemist’s, who was brought to a grinding halt by the life-changing decision of which haemorrhoid cream to buy for her husband.  By the time I returned to the pub with two new carrier bags, Finn had half an inch of lager left in his glass.

‘We were just thinking you’d taken my advice and fucked off.’

‘Not without my vodka and tonic.  Right, let’s see the damage, then.’

‘Don’t be such a bossy wee cow,’ Finn grumbled.  ‘It’s fine now.’

‘Your t-shirt looks like the Psycho shower curtain and I will not let you walk back down the street like that just to provide the matinee performance for a tribe of village idiots.’