This Is What Happy Looks Like(41)
Author: Jennifer E. Smith

But they still had a few more days to go, and today, he realized he couldn’t face another meal with Harry in his trailer.

“I can’t,” he told Olivia, who was still waiting for his answer about New York. “But what are you doing for lunch?”

While they ate—or while Graham ate; Olivia just picked at the pile of turkey and lettuce with a fork—he did his best to keep up the conversation, but it wasn’t easy. Olivia kept looking around as if they were at a club in Hollywood and someone fabulous might walk through the door at any moment. He attempted to ask what he liked to think of as real questions—where she grew up and what her parents were like, as opposed to standard industry fodder like what her next project was and how she got her start in the business—but he was conscious of the people sitting around them, the tables pressed too close for it to be comfortable to talk about anything meaningful. Besides, Olivia was only halfway there anyhow, dividing her time between Graham and her phone.

In fairness, he wasn’t entirely present either; he was still too rattled to concentrate after seeing Ellie.

They signed a few autographs on the way out, and Graham left a tip in the jar. Outside, the cameras had finally caught on, and as usual, Graham slid on his sunglasses, lowered his head, and began to walk quickly back toward the set. But Olivia snaked her arm through his, forcing him to slow down, and he realized she was enjoying this. He wondered if she was taking advantage of the fact that they were together, or if she really didn’t mind the attention. He strolled for as long as he could, his teeth gritted, before whispering, “We need to get back.”

“It’s not like they can start without us,” she said under her breath. “That’s the advantage of being the stars.”

“Are you two together now?” one of the photographers asked with a wink, and Olivia raised her eyebrows and flashed him a cryptic smile.

The short walk felt endless. As they neared the end of the street, Graham was surprisingly relieved to see Harry, and he disentangled his arm from Olivia’s as the older man approached, beaming at the sight of them together.

“Come on,” he said, shepherding them back behind the metal barriers that separated the set from the rest of the street, leaving the snapping of the cameras behind. As they walked over to the trailers, he turned to them with a grin. “Have a good lunch?”

“It was practically gourmet,” Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

“I thought it was good,” said Graham, not sure why he was feeling defensive about the place.

“I’m sure you did,” she said, then turned to Harry. “By the time I got there, he was practically eating off the floor.”

“Someone knocked over a display of candy,” Graham explained. “I was just helping them clean up.”

“Probably didn’t hurt that she was hot,” Olivia said idly, then laughed. “I never realized you had a thing for gingers.”

Graham’s jaw was tight, and when he glanced over at Harry, he was surprised to see a dark look on his face. But it wasn’t directed at Olivia. It was directed at him.

“I better go,” he said abruptly, and Olivia glanced up from her phone. “Thanks for lunch.”

Harry followed him wordlessly to the trailer, a vein jumping near his temple. Inside, he let the door slam shut behind him, then folded his arms across his chest. “The same redhead?”

“What’s the big deal?” Graham asked, pulling out a chair. “I thought you’d be happy about my big date with Olivia. Trust me, she made sure there were plenty of pictures.”

“Look,” Harry said, grabbing his briefcase from the couch and rifling through it. “You know I just want you to be happy—”

Graham snorted.

“But you can’t be getting mixed up with that girl.”

“With Olivia?” he asked, playing dumb, and Harry threw him a look.

“With Ellie O’Neill.”

A jolt of surprise went through Graham at the sound of her name. “How do you know—”

“I did a little research,” he said, then held up both hands in defense. “It’s my job, okay?” He pulled a thick brown envelope from the suitcase. “I wasn’t going to bother you with this, since we’re only here a few more days anyway. But I can see you’re still hung up on her—”

“I’m not,” Graham said, much too quickly.

“—and clearly you’re not over whatever this thing was between you—”

“It wasn’t—”

“—but I wanted to make sure you at least had all the information,” Harry said, holding out the envelope, which Graham made no move to take. “It’s just not a good time to be getting involved with anything that might prove to be… messy. Not right now.”

“This is none of your business,” Graham said, glaring at him.

“It wouldn’t look good for you,” Harry said, as if he hadn’t heard him. “The papers would be all over it. This could be the kind of hit to your image that we really can’t afford.”

The envelope was still dangling there in his outstretched hand. When he realized Graham wasn’t going to take it, he finally let it drop on the table with a thud, then stood up.

“Trust me, it’s for your own good,” he said before crossing the trailer. A wedge of sunlight fell on the carpet when he opened the door, and then it was gone again, and Graham was alone.

He stared at the envelope, torn between ripping it open and throwing it away. He couldn’t imagine what Harry had discovered, had no idea what made him search in the first place. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He found himself thinking back to his very first e-mail exchange with Ellie, the easy swapping of words, all those messages between them that had been about nothing, when it came right down to it, but that had still managed to feel like something. Like everything.

Until today, it had been weeks since they’d seen each other. And though Graham missed her, though he’d like nothing more than to knock on her door and take her in his arms again, it was more than that too. He was surprised to find how much he missed writing to her. For so many months, she’d been the person on the other end of all his musings, and now she was gone and his thoughts were left buzzing around inside his head like frantic fireflies in a jar. He hadn’t realized how much it could mean, having someone to talk to like that; he hadn’t realized that it could be a kind of lifeline, and that without it, there would be nobody to save you if you started to drown.