This Man Confessed

‘He’s told you?’ I ask disbelievingly. I don’t want anyone to know yet. It’s way too soon.

‘Girl, he didn’t need to.’

‘He didn’t?’

‘No, when I found Harrods baby department on the screen of his computer, it kind of let the cat out the bag. That and the smile on the mother f**ker’s face all day.’

I sink into my seat. I can imagine he’s got Zoe sourcing all sorts of luxurious baby equipment. I can also imagine her face when Jesse hits her with his latest shopping list, when it’s just a few short weeks since she met me and set me up with a stunning gown for the anniversary dinner. And just a few short weeks after that, she’s searching for my wedding dress, and then not long later, she’s finding our baby’s christening gown. What must she be thinking? Shot-gun, that’s what. A rush job because he’s knocked me up, just like everyone else will probably think, including my parents and Dan. How long can I hold out before I tell them?

* * *

John pulls up at The Manor, and I waste no time jumping down from his Range Rover and making my way up the steps.

‘He’s in his office.’ John calls.

‘Thanks, John.’ I use my key, pushing my way through the doors, and head straight towards the back of The Manor, passing through the summer room and smiling to myself at the sudden silence that falls. I cast my eyes across the gathering of women, all with drinks in their hands and all with sour faces. ‘Evening,’ I smile brightly and receive a chorus of mumbles in return for my trouble. My smile widens at the thought of those sour faces souring further when they learn of my pregnancy. I’m smug.

As I approach Jesse’s office, the door opens and a man exits, looking tense but relieved all at once. It’s Steve. He looks different, fully clothed and without a whip in his grasp. I halt dead in my tracks, completely shocked, mainly because he’s in one piece. He doesn’t look so cocky now. ‘Hi,’ I stammer, the surprise clear in my tone.

His eyes lift and he smiles, a little embarrassed. ‘Ava,’

I’m staring at him, and I realise it’s rude, but I’m not sure what to say. There are no bruises or black eyes, he’s not limping and he doesn’t look like he’s just been offered burial or cremation. ‘How are you?’ I ask, when my brain fails to give me anything better to say.

‘I’m good,’ He slips his hands into his jacket pockets, looking no less uncomfortable. ‘You?’

‘Yes, I’m fine.’ This is so awkward. The last time I saw him, he had me trussed up and was whipping the crap out of me. He was cocky and smarmy, but there is no trace of that man now. ‘You’ve been to see Jesse?’

‘I have.’ He laughs. ‘I’ve avoided it for long enough. I needed to apologise.’

‘Oh,’ My brain is failing me again. He looks sincere enough, but if I was a man and I had Jesse vying for my blood, I think I would face the shame of grovelling, which is no doubt what he’s done. We wouldn’t be walking if he hadn’t. It may have been a few weeks, but I know Jesse has been quietly boiling over this.

‘I should apologise to you, too.’ he stammers through his words. ‘Yeah… urm… I’m… I’m sorry.’

I shake my head. I’m the one who’s embarrassed now. I asked him to whip me. I asked for it. It’s me who should be feeling remorseful for setting him up for certain annihilation. ‘Steve, I shouldn’t have asked you. It was wrong of me.’

‘No,’ He smiles, but this time it’s a sweet offering. ‘I’d been walking a fine line for too long, getting carried away, losing respect for the women trusting me. You actually did me a favour, but, of course, I wish I’d never hurt you.’

I smile back. ‘I’ll accept yours, if you accept mine.’

He pulls his car keys from his pocket and starts to pass me. ‘Accepted. I’ll see you.’

‘See you.’ I call to his back.

I push through Jesse’s office door and find him on his knees in the middle of the floor, my mind suddenly awash with painful memories. But he’s fully dressed in his suit and there are piles and piles of paperwork spread on the floor in front of him. He looks up, and my heart constricts at the exasperated look on his beautiful face. His concentration frown is heavy.

‘Hey,’ I shut the door behind me, and his look changes from mentally exhausted to contented in a split second.

‘Here’s my beautiful girl.’ He sits or his arse, knees bent and with his feet flat on the floor. He opens his arms. ‘Come here. I need you.’

I walk slowly over. ‘Need me, or need me to sort all of this out for you?’

He pouts and waves him arms impatiently. ‘Both.’

I sit myself between his thighs and shuffle back until my back is pressed to his front. His arms wrap around my shoulders and his nose goes straight into my hair, taking a long, loud inhale. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Better.’

‘Good, I don’t like seeing you poorly.’

‘Then you shouldn’t have been underhanded and knocked me up.’ I retort dryly, earning myself a nudge of his leg. ‘I saw Steve leaving.’

‘Hmm,’ he hums in my ear, nibbling at my lobe.

‘Did you offer burial or cremation?’ I grin to myself when I’m nudged again.

‘I offered him an olive branch, actually. Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, lady.’

I’m pretty speechless. I would’ve put my life on the imminent demise of the poor Steve. ‘What’s made you so reasonable?’