This Man Confessed

‘You look tired.’ He sits down, eyeing me suspiciously.

‘I am tired.’ I admit. No hair twiddling needed.

‘Why?’

‘Work stress.’ Half true, but now I’m fighting my hands to keep them on the table. ‘So, you’re okay?’

‘Kate told me to take a leap, but I’m sure you know that already.’ He un-wraps his sandwich and takes a bite.

Yes, I do, but there is little point confirming it. ‘You should never have gone there, and you really shouldn’t have gone there on my wedding day.’

‘Yeah, I was out of line. I’m sorry.’ He reaches over and places his hand over mine. ‘We’ve never had cross words.’

‘I know. It was horrible.’

‘It was my fault.’

‘It was,’ I grin, and he dips his finger in the froff of my coffee and flicks it at my nose. ‘Hey!’

‘Congratulations, anyway.’ He smiles.

‘What?’ I blurt.

‘I never congratulated you on your actual wedding day. I was too busy being an arsehole.’

‘Oh, thanks.’ The relief that takes hold makes me sag in my chair, but just as quickly, I’m stiff as a board. Matt knows, and he has been doing a fantastic job of keeping my parents informed and up-to-date on my love life. He’ll be like a pig in shit over this. That cooling fury has just boiled over into the realms of panic. I quickly disregard the possibility that he’s called my mum and dad already because if he had, then Dan would know, and he wouldn’t be sat opposite me happily chomping his way through a tuna melt. This is bad news. I need to get to Matt before he gets to my parents. Or I could just ring my parents and tell them myself. That would be the sensible thing to do, but I want to see them with Jesse. I want to do this bit right, which is absurd, but after how they found out about Jesse and the shock of a rushed wedding, I want to make this part special.

‘You okay?’ Dan’s worried tone pulls me from yet more mental meltdown.

‘Yeah, so when are you going back?’

‘I’ll get on-line when I get back to Harvey’s to see what’s available.’ He dabs his mouth with his napkin and proceeds to launch into a proper apology speech.

I spend the next half an hour listening, nodding, yes-ing and no-ing, but I’m a million miles away from the conversation, my head struggling to decide on what to do for the best. Why hasn’t Matt called them already?

‘You’ll get sacked.’

‘Huh?’ I glance down at my Rolex, noting its two fifteen. I’m already late, but I feel no sense of urgency to hurry back to the office. The only urgency I have is to resolve my little Matt issue once and for all. ‘Yeah, I’d better shoot.’

‘Nice watch.’ He nods at my wrist.

‘Wedding present,’ I stand and brush myself down. ‘Which way are you heading?’

‘Back to Harvey’s.’

‘Okay, will you call me? I mean, you won’t just leave, will you?’

His eyes warm and he stands before pulling me into him and giving me the biggest cuddle. ‘I wouldn’t go anywhere without saying goodbye to my little sister.’ He kisses my head. ‘Let’s not fall out again, okay?’

‘Okay. Keep it in your trousers then, and try to be civil to my husband if you ever have to share company with him again.’

‘I promise.’ He assures me. I’m a little surprised he doesn’t point out that Jesse was discourteous, too, because he really was. ‘Take care.’

‘You, too.’ I leave Dan, but instead of going to the office, I call in sick again and go to get my car. I’m walking on thin ice, but this really cannot wait. Matt won’t be home, but he’ll be at his office, and I really don’t care where I verbally bash him.

Chapter 18

But he’s not at his office, and he hasn’t been for weeks. After driving across the city in mid-afternoon traffic, I pulled up to the glass building which houses the sales centre of the firm that he works for, only to be told by the receptionist that Matt lost his job a few weeks ago. I remember him mentioning it, he’d used it as an excuse for his shitty behaviour, but I never gave it another thought.

Despite his misfortune, though, I don’t feel pity or concern. Nothing is going to dampen down my resentment and contempt. I sit in my car and pull my phone from my bag, full of determination. I’ll track him down.

It rings once. ‘Ava,’

I was expecting a voice laced with smugness and deep satisfaction, so when I hear this one, which is broken and strained, I’m thrown completely. It takes me a few moments to piece a sentence together and when I do, it’s not at all what I had intended to say. ‘Are you okay?’

He laughs, but it’s weak. ‘Why don’t you ask your husband?’

The back of my head hits the headrest of my seat, and I stare up at the ceiling of my car. I should have predicted this. ‘How bad?’

‘Oh, just a couple of broken ribs and a black eye. Nothing major. Your husband knows how to do a job properly, I’ll give him that.’

‘Why did you do it?’

‘Because I want everything he has with you. Or I did. Kate took great pleasure in telling me you were marrying him, and then that letter fell on my doormat. I wondered why you would be seeking an abortion if you were married, so I guessed he didn’t know. I took a chance. Why are you having an abortion?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Then why…’

‘Because I was shocked.’ I shout defensively. I’m not explaining myself to him. Silence falls down the line, and I’m not in the least bit compelled to explain myself further. ‘I think this is where you give up, Matt.’